NormanH Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 A sombre Autumn poem by Baudelaire, which suits the mood of the moment. The video is of me reading my own translation : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Attdwwyd-Ik Chant d'automne I Bientôt nous plongerons dans les froides ténèbres; Adieu, vive clarté de nos étés trop courts! J'entends déjà tomber avec des chocs funèbres Le bois retentissant sur le pavé des cours. Tout l'hiver va rentrer dans mon être: colère, Haine, frissons, horreur, labeur dur et forcé, Et, comme le soleil dans son enfer polaire, Mon coeur ne sera plus qu'un bloc rouge et glacé. J'écoute en frémissant chaque bûche qui tombe; L'échafaud qu'on bâtit n'a pas d'écho plus sourd. Mon esprit est pareil à la tour qui succombe Sous les coups du bélier infatigable et lourd. II me semble, bercé par ce choc monotone, Qu'on cloue en grande hâte un cercueil quelque part. Pour qui? — C'était hier l'été; voici l'automne! Ce bruit mystérieux sonne comme un départ. II J'aime de vos longs yeux la lumière verdâtre, Douce beauté, mais tout aujourd'hui m'est amer, Et rien, ni votre amour, ni le boudoir, ni l'âtre, Ne me vaut le soleil rayonnant sur la mer. Et pourtant aimez-moi, tendre coeur! soyez mère, Même pour un ingrat, même pour un méchant; Amante ou soeur, soyez la douceur éphémère D'un glorieux automne ou d'un soleil couchant. Courte tâche! La tombe attend; elle est avide! Ah! laissez-moi, mon front posé sur vos genoux, Goûter, en regrettant l'été blanc et torride, De l'arrière-saison le rayon jaune et doux! — Charles Baudelaire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menthe Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 Bravo! I have visited and revisited this poem for years now. All those years ago, I only had it read to me for the sounds until, little by little I understood more of what Baudelaire was saying. He's never been the most cheerful of souls, has he? I applaud you for your translation and your reading of it. I'd never thought of this particular piece as being easily translated and I think you have produce an excellent result for your efforts🙂 I'd never liked autumn and there were more years than I can count when my asthma would play up and I'd be ill with something seasonal. This year, however, I seem to be more than OK so I'll leave Baudelaire to his famous "spleen". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormanH Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 Thanks for those kind words. I feel it catches the mood of the times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loiseau Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 Wonderful, Norman! I so enjoyed both versions. I confess I didn’t know the Baudelaire poem; only Verlaine's ubiquitous "Chanson d'automne". Have you translated that too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormanH Posted October 31, 2023 Author Share Posted October 31, 2023 I think that it is probably untranslatable given that much of the effect is in the onomatopoeia and assonance, but I had a go Verlaine.mp4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loiseau Posted November 7, 2023 Share Posted November 7, 2023 Charming, Norman, but I do think it resounds better in French, as you say... Thank you for your rendering though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harnser Posted November 8, 2023 Share Posted November 8, 2023 On 31/10/2023 at 12:09, Loiseau said: Wonderful, Norman! I so enjoyed both versions. I confess I didn’t know the Baudelaire poem; only Verlaine's ubiquitous "Chanson d'automne". Have you translated that too? Shortly before the D-Day landings of 6 June 1944, Radio Londres broadcast the first stanza of Paul Verlaine's poem "Chanson d'automne" to let the resistance know that the invasion was imminent. The first part of the stanza, Les sanglots longs des violons de l’automne ("the long sobs of the violins of autumn") indicated that the invasion would begin within 24 hours; the second, Blessent mon cœur d'une langueur monotone ("wound my heart with a monotonous languor") was the specific call to action.[3] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormanH Posted November 9, 2023 Author Share Posted November 9, 2023 A French friend of mine told me that when I heard my translation and said it had put him off the poem for life. He is 98! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menthe Posted November 9, 2023 Share Posted November 9, 2023 Oh well, you can't please them all? Could be his hearing aid? Take heart and carry on translating😁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormanH Posted November 10, 2023 Author Share Posted November 10, 2023 Here is another which is a real challenge as the original has a tight rhyme-scheme and syllabic structure The original is here: https://www.poetica.fr/poeme-794/guillaume-apollinaire-le-pont-mirabeau/ Him reading it: https://media.sas.upenn.edu/pennsound/authors/Apollinaire/Apollinaire-Guillaume_01_Le-Pont-Mirabeau_1913.mp3 My Translation Beneath the Pont Mirabeau flows the Seine So do our loves Must I tell myself again Joy always came after Pain Clocks may strike, night may come Days go by, I live on Hand in hand, lets stay eye to eye Under the bridge Of our arms waves glide by Weary of eternal scrutiny Clocks may strike, night may come Days go by, I live on Love goes away as the water flows Love goes away Just as life slows And Hope deals us violent blows Clocks may strike, night may come Days go by, I live on Days and weeks pass in vain Nor time past Nor past loves come back again Beneath the Pont Mirabeau flows the Seine Clocks may strike, night may come Days go by, I live on video.mp4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menthe Posted November 10, 2023 Share Posted November 10, 2023 Always that tinge of sadness and loss. Must be the times he lived in. He'd have been a contemporary of Proust, wouldn't he? Though his poem has a modern feel about it and his reading sounds like that of a "slammer". Thank you for the introduction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judith Posted November 10, 2023 Share Posted November 10, 2023 NormanH, that's is really so good, though I haven't read the original, your translation speaks so much to me. I have a lovely French friend here who writes beautiful poetry - her mastery of her language is superb. I might put a little on here when I next see some ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menthe Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 It's not about autumn and I don't find it sad, rather comforting in fact. But a friend found it incredibly sad. It was during a time when we were both ill. You'd recognise this one only too well, Norman. I think it's a very good translation. Sur la souffrance, ils ne se trompaient jamais, Les vieux Maîtres : comme ils comprenaient bien Sa place dans la vie humaine, et qu’elle se produit Pendant que quelqu’un d’autre est en train de manger ou d’ouvrir une fenêtre ou bien de passer avec indifférence ; Et tandis que les vieux attendent pieusement, passionnément, La naissance miraculeuse, qu’il faut toujours qu’il se trouve Des enfants qui ne souhaitaient pas spécialement qu’elle arrive, en train de patiner Sur un étang au bord de la forêt. Ils n’oubliaient jamais Que même l’horrible martyre doit suivre son cours N’importe comment, dans un coin, quelque lieu en désordre où les chiens continuent à mener leur vie de chiens, et le cheval du tortionnaire Frotte son innocent derrière contre un arbre. Dans l’Icare de Bruegel, par exemple : comme tout se détourne De la catastrophe sans se presser ; le laboureur a pu entendre Le floc dans l’eau, le cri de désespoir, Mais pour lui ce n’est pas un échec important, le soleil brillait Comme il devait sur la blancheur des jambes disparaissant dans l’eau verte, Et le coûteux, le délicat navire qui avait dû voir Quelque chose de stupéfiant, un garçon précipité du ciel, Avait quelque part où aller et poursuivait tranquillement sa course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormanH Posted November 12, 2023 Author Share Posted November 12, 2023 Auden knew his "Beaux Arts" 🤓 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menthe Posted November 12, 2023 Share Posted November 12, 2023 I love how the French call Icarus "Icare". I'd never have known that if I didn't know the poem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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