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Mother always knows .


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Saw this one and fell off my chair,  so had to post it,,,,

 

A young man called Peter invited his mother for dinner. During the course of
the meal his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Peter's flat mate
was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, & this only
made
her more curious. Over the course of the eve, while watching the two
interact, she started
to wonder if there was more between Peter & his flatmate than met the eye
Reading his mum's thoughts Peter volunteered "I know what you must be
thinking
but I assure you Simon & I are just flatmates, about a week later Simon came
to Peter
saying "ever since you're mother came to dinner I've been unable to find the
frying pan
you don't suppose she took it do you?" well I doubt it, but I'll email her
just to be sure
said Peter, so he sat down & wrote :-
Dear mother,
I'm not saying that you  "did" take the frying pan from my house,I,m not
saying that you "did not" take the frying pan, but the fact remains that it
is missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love Peter
Several day's later Peter received an email from his mother which read,
Dear son, I,m not saying that you "do" sleep with Simon, & I,m not saying
that you "do not" sleep with Simon, but the fact remains that if he was
sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the frying pan by now!
Love mum
Lesson of the day
Don't ever lie to you're mother (she always always finds Out!)
 
Terry (Not standing in the corner because there are no packing cases in the way)
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Aren't some people miserable gits? There are not a lot of forums around entitled " Jokes for Brits living in France".

I for one miss Swiss Barry's stories and the like, where has he gone I wonder?

Keep it up Joh, I need a chuckle now and again.

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Plenty more, everything comes to he that waits, agree Swiss Barry has been gone toooooo long.

Maybe one day there will be a seperate forum for slightly unsavoury material, like a watershed topic, that may-be totally un-related to "Le Hexagon",  for the more mature?  and those who are not easily offended and take life with "a pinch of salt".  Can't all be Victor Meldrew's can we.  Just a thought in one of my sober periods.

Terry

 

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Outcast, read this carefully.

A joke about homosexuals is not homophobic unless it expresses hatred or contempt or a negative view based solely on sexual orientation.

A joke about black (or white, brown or anything in between) people is not racist unless it expresses a negative image or point of view.

Stereotyping usually offends.

No takers on this particular troll, I hope.
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I do think that it was homophobic,in the fact that the friend was outed by peters mum,the point being that peter s friend never stayed in the bed provided and by inference stayed in the bed of peter,dicky you wrote what you think,why do you think that you are right?

 

 

 

 

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The joke did not mock gay men for being gay. It mocked societal attitudes.

Anyone who thinks the guys mum 'outed' him, the frying pan could be a good implement to apply to ones own head. You never know. It may work, help shake up the old grey matter.

Whether this would work on the head of someone who compared the joke here, to the historical fact of millions of people being systematically murdered, is another matter again.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Made me laugh here in Sydney too!

It is a JOKE for god's sake. I go missing for months (PC trouble) only to return to find a new pain in the .... on the forum.

Here in Sydney, looking forward to a time in France and enjoying jokes of all kinds.

Swissbarry went missing for months, came back, posted a very funny story about BALLS, which was censored. What every happened to this previously friendly, informative forum.

Bring on the frying pan I say and make it a big hard one!

Baa Humbug
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O.k. the gloves are off lets make fun of someone with say a speech impediment :-

  A man walks into the butchers and says " can i have half a pound of stake and kidderley please"

the butcher replies " Don`t you mean stake and kidney "

the man says " thats what I said didderlie"        

        More funnies from me soon  

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[quote]Aren't some people miserable gits? There are not a lot of forums around entitled " Jokes for Brits living in France". I for one miss Swiss Barry's stories and the like, where has he gone I wonder? K...[/quote]

I am still around, and posted fairly recently on the subject of "Boules for "Foules".  However, that article produced some really nasty responses, both on the forum (the same person - "Outcast" - who took umbrage at Joh's delightful joke also described my work as "smutty") and also in some really unpleasant and vindictive private messages / e-mails.

I've learnt over the years that there are a lot of lovely people on the forum, but also a few who seem to delight in being objectionable, and those who try to lighten things a bit and bring a smile to people's faces aren't very well protected from them.  Surely, for example, describing someone's work as "smut" is offensive, and as such is against the forum code of conduct, and as such should be subjected to censorship?

I think I know what's going to happen now.  This person called "Outcast", or "I,m here in France", is going to start a war of words over this posting.  If so, I'll have the choice of taking him on, or rising above it all and ignoring him (or her).

Hmmm.  It's tempting...

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Dear Swissbarry,

So many of us enjoy your postings, stories, jokes.

Outcast is just another of those poor souls that surface from time to time.

I suppose irnore him/her/it and with any luck it will get bored and find some other forum to be a pain in the arse.

Eleanor

Sydney
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Mrs O, I think that Swissbarry is saying just that. Others have said that they too have had such e-mails. I posted the last thing  I had sent to me, even though what was said was not really bad, I just do not want any private communication of any sort with certain members.

 

And for all Swissbarry's posts can be very funny, there are posts that don't amuse me, sometimes he says things that appal and sadden me.

 

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[quote]Mrs O, I think that Swissbarry is saying just that. Others have said that they too have had such e-mails. I posted the last thing I had sent to me, even though what was said was not really bad, I jus...[/quote]

Oh God, so now my posts appal and sadden someone.  Please tell me, Teamed Up, exactly which posts appalled and saddened you.  If I am upsetting some sensible people, I need to know where I'm going wrong.  I mean, "appal" is such a strong word, isn't it.   So this is serious stuff, now.  I really do need to be more careful, and since I honestly can't think of anything that I've written that would appal anyone, I really need to know.

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Firstly,hew if like you posted many moons ago you are in fact a teacher,learn to use spell check oherwise what chance do the kids have.

Swissy,would you like to make clear that outcast has never sent you any PM,s,and any posting from outcast to yourself have been via the forum for any menber to see???

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Outcast - your teacher obsession is getting out of hand. You had the chance to be with them when you were a kid and manifestly failed to do so.

You say "Firstly,hew if like you posted many moons ago you are in fact a teacher,learn to use spell check oherwise what chance do the kids have."

Well, they could learn to punctuate, for a start...

'use a spellchecker oherwise'?

Irony is clearly yet another word not in your dictionary.

SwissB - I also got very nasty emails when arguing with someone who couldn't spell (or punctuate) who then left the forum, temporarily...
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Dicky were any from outcast(in what ever guise),I will tell you now,no none were and anyone from the forum admin will have to say the same,same old smear you dont like what you hear so the dirty tricks start up,ooops there must be a labour spin doctor posting.ps dicky post them like I asked you to do with the name of the sender,maybe you could find time during your 3 months holidays that you get.
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