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Lagrasse is more peaceful, with less tourists, so less noise.They are a bit like chalk and and chesse. Mars is one of those nightmare places to live in July/August. Good for a vacation, but to live all year round, it would not be for me.
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I have a lot of friends who live there (French) and whenever we go there the weather is always good even in the winter months.  I get the impression that it is a very lively place to live and according to my friends it's very difficult not to get sucked into the very social café mode of life.  There is always an apéro going on somewhere.

It's great for kids as there are lots of natural etangs for them to paddle and boat in, but I don't think I'd want to raise my 8 year old daughter there - the kids of her age seem much more savvy and street wise there.

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I agree with Richard  in that it’s like chalk and cheese.

Marseillan is not as attractive (in a quaint French manner) or peaceful as Lagrasse and is much more touristy with the disadvantages that entails when those from the North head south in the summer months. But it has the advantage of being lively and near important Herault towns, hence offering you substantial choice, facilities and social life all year round, which you simply wouldn’t get in Lagrasse.

Contrary to Richard, Lagrasse would only be tolerable for a weekend for me and to live there would be out of the question; simply too dead (sorry, tranquil[:)]).  However, if you are a ‘typical’ British life-style immigrant, I suspect that Lagrasse will suit you much more than Marseillan.  If you are under 40, I’d strongly recommend Marseillan because of the social life (see Twinkle's post) and Montpellier, which is close enough for work and other activities.

It may help if you say what you are looking for.

 

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Stayed in Marseillan itself (not plage) one Christmas / NY before we bought.  Mixed weather, windy, sometimes cold, wet, not esp busy and many restaurants shut up for the season.  (About typical for  the season both weather and services available I find).  Confirmed our decision not to buy on the coast or in too large a town.  I imagine it is impossible in the height of summer with the influx of French (and other) holiday makers.  But as other say, you need to decide what type of place you want before making a decision.  I found it not especially convenient to get to other places as being on the coast, there  was ever only one way out. 

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