Lesbian life out there?

[claudine_nicoleClaude]

Greetings,

I will shortly be moving over to France, the Pas De Calais area and am aware that Lille has a reasonable gay scene.

However can anyone advise where gay folk meet if they live in the area around Hesdin?

It does not have to be bar focused, a informal group would surfice for starters.

I would be very grateful of any information.

[sue-J]

Judging from the number of people who've read your mail but not responded the entire area around Hesdin is a seething mass of closet gays!

I think tho, you're in for trips to Paris, Brussels, Antwerpen etc, as Hesdin is a market town remarkable only for its sugar beet, a sprawling and vile market selling tat and dangerous cheeses, and Brit retirees seeking cheap property.

The huge sugar beet factory is painted a rather vile shade of green, and might thus be considered a little gay, but for the rest, there isn't much in Hesdin to entertain anyone. The Hotel Les Flandres has a good if brisk restaurant, but a poor bar, the rest of the entertainments in and around Hesdin are a little, er, agricultural.

Why people buy houses there is absolutely beyond me!

sue

[Tresco]

It's about 8 years since i've been there, but on the whole I would agree with what Sue-J said about trips to Paris etc.

We had a place up there, near Hesdin and my friends said their 'gaydar' picked up no activity whatsoever. This may have been because there were no women in any of the bars, apart from us, and the only women we saw round and about were screened by flocks of cows

I don't think the area itself is anything like as bad as Sue suggests, though what she said did make me laugh

 

[sue-J]

I don't think the area itself is anything like as bad as Sue suggests, though what she said did make me laugh [Big Grin]

It was a bit tongue in cheek - I live there myself, nearly. The area is very beautiful, but the social life looks a bit limited, unless you learn to moo in French. And who knows? If you persevere you might get a pretty one!

But heaven forbid, now I've bought my place, I don't want hundreds of ex-pats to flood in next door.

I'm going to invite Claudine over for a mug of luke-warm cider and some of that awful goats cheese they flog in the market at Hesdin. The last one I bought, I had to get a vet in to despatch with a humane killer. It was wandering about in the fridge at night, trying to dig an escape tunnel with a stick of celery.

I'm sure that cheese is a Francophobe plot to rid the area of English. Hesdin is too close to Azincourt for comfort, and the cheese-makers of the area have long memories, if not long-bows.

sue

[Tresco]

Good luck with your cunning plan Sue, except that it is now clear that you are not only a rascal, but really not very cunning at all

And of course, good luck to Claudine, too. DON'T EAT THE CHEESE - IT'S A TRICK!!!

[claudine_nicoleClaude]

Well thanks for both highly entertaining and clarifying posts, don't worry have heard about the cheese!

Lets face it it was a long shot looking for a great bunch of dykes in rural France but hey never say never...I'm sure one of the many that took the time to view the posting were genuinely keen to see that when when their gay relatives visit they had a social network to accomodate them and that none were just drawn to view by the allure of the 'L' Word..which incidentally is highly amusing if not really reflective of lesbain lifestyle (well not in my income bracket anyhow).

So now having given up on a social life I will turn my thoughts to dare I say work...yawn

Thanks again to those who replied...you know who you are

[la bezarderie]

Just so you know, heterosexuals are people too.  Can you only travel in whatever the collective noun for lesbians is?

[claudine_nicoleClaude]

Actually I know my parents are, but I don't necessarily wish to spend all my time with them

In fact having lived as a lesbian for many years now in a 'heterosexual' world you have no idea how enjoyable I find my time in the company of other lesbians..you see we do share many similar experiences(I am talking from my experience only) but view the world dramatically differently in many ways and it is great for me to, how you say hang out in the collective noun of my sisters..

Incidentally some of my best friends are straight and they all seem pretty comfortable in their humaness/peopleness..

I guess from your reply you don't know any informal lesbian groups in the NW of France?

[sue-J]

[quote]Just so you know, heterosexuals are people too. Can you only travel in whatever the collective noun for lesbians is?[/quote]

'Heterosexuals are people too'.

Eva Braun described Hitler as 'a nice man who liked children and dogs' but I wouldn't want to spend all night in a bar with him.

Anyway, you don't have too much to worry about, I think your chances of being invited out by Claudine are fairly slim.

sue

[Russethouse]

Surely between places like Le Touquet, Montreul (sp) Boulogne and Calais you would find some people with common interests no matter what they are ? They are hardly rural outposts ? Or is my geography at fault ?

[sue-J]

[quote]Surely between places like Le Touquet, Montreul (sp) Boulogne and Calais you would find some people with common interests no matter what they are ? They are hardly rural outposts ? Or is my geography ...[/quote]

I think that the problem lies, if you'll forgive a clumsy analogy, in being mainly interested in tennis, but having to spend ninety percent of your time in a golf club.

Unfortunately, for we 'ladies in comfortable shoes', the social aspects of rural France are rather minimal. Bars in many countries are mainly occupied by the be-trousered, and some people (us) do weary of these tribulations, and of having unwanted attention pressed upon us, and go off in search of the company of our own.

So the original question posed by Claudine is a valid one, and is at least as pertinent as 'where do I go to buy a decent lawn-mower in Cherbourg'? Alas, the word 'lesbian' will wrinkle the nose of many an ex-pat, but, at long last, being queer is no worse, (in the eyes of the EC) as being a hettie. Even China (God bless its human rights record) stopped executing 'those of alternate preferences' in 2001. And being queer sure is cheaper than joining a golf club - you don't have to wait until Thursday to get a round in.

I therefore applaud the sysadmins of 'Living in France' for their bold and noble stance in upholding the notions of 'Vive La Difference' (and current EC legislation), and look forward to this thread not being pulled by the sysops, becuase it's 'contentious'.

And, perhaps at the risk of being 'divisive' I personally would be very pleased if the magnificent Admin Persons of 'Living in France' could give us an LGBT (try Google) forum of our own to frolick in, unmolested. We do after all, Live In France. Some of us even buy your magazine, contribute to your forums, and what remains of the French economy.

You could call it 'Gay France' or something innocous. It would at least be more interesting than the current 'Marmite' thread.

Thank you very much.

Please join me in some community singing. How about 'La Marseillaise'?. Come on now, sing up. It worked in 'Casablanca'.

"Arise children of the fatherland

The day of glory has arrived

Against us tyranny's

Bloody standard is raised

Listen to the sound in the fields

The howling of these fearsome soldiers

They are coming into your midst

To cut the throats of your sons and your wives.

Chorus

To arms, citizens!

Form your battalions!

March, march

Let the impure blood of our enemies

Soak the furrows of our fields

What do they want this horde of slaves

Of traitors and conspiratorial kings?

For whom these vile chains

These long-prepared irons?

Frenchmen, for us, ah! What outrage

What methods must be taken?

It is us they dare plan

To return to the old slavery!

Chorus

What! These foreign cohorts!

They would make laws in our courts!

What! These mercenary phalanxes

Would cut down our warrior sons

Good Lord! By chained hands

Our brow would yield under the yoke

The vile despots would have themselves be

The masters of destiny

Chorus

Tremble, tyrants and traitors

The shame of all good men

Tremble! Your patricidal schemes

Will receive their just reward

Against you we are all soldiers

If they fall, our young heroes

France will bear new ones

Ready to join the fight against you

Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors

Bear or hold back your blows

Spare these sad victims

That they regret taking up arms against us

But not these bloody despots

These accomplices of Bouill?

All these tigers who mercilessly

Ripped out their mothers' wombs

Chorus

Drive on sacred patriotism

Support our avenging arms

Liberty, cherished liberty

Join the struggle with your defenders

Under our flags, let victory

Hurry to your manly tone

So that in de

[Viv]

Bars in many countries are mainly occupied by the be-trousered, and some people (us) do weary of these tribulations, and of having unwanted attention pressed upon us, and go off in search of the company of our own.

Surprisingly, unwanted attention can be pressed upon women in general in bars and yes it can be irritating, but I don't feel that I should therefore dash off and join the WI to be with other married women.

Do you not feel that you will be missing out on a lot by sticking rigidly in the company of 'your own'?

 

[la bezarderie]

I find it quite disturbing that the original poster makes no mention of her age, job or interests other than being a lesbian. If I meet someone who works in the same industry as me, we have a link and their sexual orientation is irrelevant.  If someone defines themselves solely on the basis that they are homosexual, I think it's either quite sad or a deliberate attempt at provocation.

[claudine_nicoleClaude]

Well good morning all and it would appear I have inadvertently set the cat amongst the pigeons, why it is such an issue that I wanted to meet other lesbians for some straight people I do not know, maybe they have their own stuff to deal with and resolve but it really is not my problem.

Why I wonder would I want a lot of people who I don't know (and in reality probably, and I mean no disrespect, would not want to know) having detailed personal information about me that is also available on a public internet forum?

My forum name is Claudine Nicole (for those dying to know stuff about me it is my birth name not some kind of secret lesbian code) and I do not appreciate the rather hostile tone that me choosing to define myself by my sexuality is either:

A. Sad

B. Deliberate attempt at provocation (grow up)

I read much of the stuff posted on all the forums and much of it offends me politically, morally or just winds me up but I do not feel that I need to or in fact have a right to make comments that will lead to what I feel is bigotness and cause offence.

I ask you really if there were a bunch of people who loved gardening and posted a feed to find other gardeners and one disliked this pursuit or felt left out would they really be bothered to say 'well non-gardeners are people too' I think not.

If anyone else has comments that are not useful in the slightest and do not attempt to answer my original posting please don't waste my time or everyone else’s by posting your thoughts as I keep logging on to see if anyone was able to help only to be disappointed...and yes sucked into time wasting rants with people who's opinion I am unlikely to influence anyway

Have a nice day

[Tresco]

Gay, my perhaps faultly geography, memory tells me le Touquet, clais and Boulogne are all just as far away from Hesdin as Paris.

Le Bezarderie said this

I find it quite disturbing that the original poster makes no mention of her age, job or interests other than being a lesbian. If I meet someone who works in the same industry as me, we have a link and their sexual orientation is irrelevant. 

Since when has it been neccessary or even desirable for people to post biographies here?.

It will be interesting, for about 3 seconds, to see your future posts replying to people asking things like 'is there anyone out there who likes to (eg) cycle, ramble, fish, whittle wood' or whatever.

If someone defines themselves solely on the basis that they are homosexual I think it's either quite sad or a deliberate attempt at provocation.

I 'find it quite disturbing' that you are suggesting that Claude has defined herself  'solely' on the basis of her sexuality. So far, it is only you doing that, and if you feel sad, or provoked I would suggest you look to yourself for the reason why.

 

 

[claudine_nicoleClaude]

Oh yes forgot, yes all women are often the subjects of unwanted male attention and this is a femminist issue not solely a lesbian one.

Staright women are however viewed very differnetly in society and although maybe treated to unwanted sexual attention do not face the same hostility that lesbian women do.

Also just like to point out that at NO point did I say I wanted only to socialise with other lesbains, as this would be ridiculous and very closed minded.

Life throws all sorts of people in ones path and anyone who chooses not to interact with people who are different from them loses out be they gay, straight, disabled, ginger, tall (need I go on).

So if I meet a person I am happy to have at least one drink with them whoever they are, how an earth does one learn anything otherwise.

Ciao

[Miki]

As you are fully aware, there are websites and as you say Lille has prominence in the North of France, had you thought to contact one of the sites ? I would have thought that perhaps Hesdin may be too small to have a specific place where one would meet others ?

Our Daughter (hetrosexual) has always (in the sense of, since she knew who they were) had gay and lesbian friends here in France and in the small villages, due to a lack of places where the gay scene can meet, they have always simply hung around in the same bars as anyone else.

Sorry but can't be specific, as to places near or around Hesdin, that you will be able to meet up with any other lesbians but as stated places like Boulogne and Le Touquet (not sure about Montreuil though !) will more than certainly have a place in their midst.

[Tresco]

Ooops, I thought that previous post never made it so it was nearly duplicated here. All edited out except to make one other point

Le Bezarderie, the collective noun for lesbians is 'people'.

[sue-J]

[quote]Bars in many countries are mainly occupied by the be-trousered, and some people (us) do weary of these tribulations, and of having unwanted attention pressed upon us, and go off in search of the compa...[/quote]

Q: "Do you not feel that you will be missing out on a lot by sticking rigidly in the company of 'your own'?"

Speaking for myself I don't stick rigidly in anyone's company.

sue

[Viv]

Woah Claude, let me just put my head back on its shoulders

I was actually just picking up a couple of remarks made by Sue, who in her own words was enjoying this thread. Hope you get the information you seek.

[la bezarderie]

If you post on an open forum, you can't really expect to approve of every reply and you certainly can't tell people not to post.

It's same old, same old.  I'm critical of your post so I obviously have "issues" I need to address.  Whatever, dear.

 

[Tresco]

Oh, thanks for making it clear that you can criticise someone, but no one can criticise you.

Oh, and re this

If I meet someone who works in the same industry as me, we have a link and their sexual orientation is irrelevant.'

The 'link' is that everyone here is interested in France, on whatever level.

It's you that's got 'issues'.

[la bezarderie]

Wow, what a lot of rattled cages, obviously tolerance is a one way street in this subject area.

[Tresco]

'...obviously tolerance is a one way street in this subject area'.

The 'subject area' was clearly indicated in the title and content of the original posters message.

You derailed the original 'subject' with your insulting comments. Now you are indulging in a bit of passive agression, perhaps in the hope no one will notice you havn't bothered to respond to any of the points they made.

What a bore.

[la bezarderie]

What points?