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There was an english cat called "one two three" and a french cat called "un deux trois"

they decided to have a swimming race, which cat won?

 

 

 

 

The english cat because un deux trois quatre (cat) cinq (sank)............

 

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[quote]Well I laughed! Well I would as a cat-lover and a 'newie' to the language. been a hard day and it cheered me up, which is the point of a joke isn't it?[/quote]

I laughed as well. As a new language learner it introduced some humour to the use of language
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  • 2 weeks later...

cats are very intelligent=

our latest one when locked in one day and managed to pull a heavy litter tray from underneath a bench before using it.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is clever.

one we had in england used to staddle the toilet for a pee.!!!!!!!!

 

and i am told to get up and let him in at 4.00a.m. when he rattles the shutters.

he is fed on time sleeps where he wants and does minimum mouse and bird catching.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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That "staddle the toilet for a pee" reminds me of a device we saw on the TV.  It's a gadget a bit like for children when you put a smaller seat on top of the other one, only this one has cat litter in the middle.  Once the cat has got used to going on there, you take away the middle with the litter, so it goes straight in the toilet.  Then you eventually take away the smaller seat part and he goes, standing on the normal seat.  This is fine as long as you don't have guests, who when they want to go, find the cat in there!

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You've read of several kinds of Cat,

 And my opinion now is that

 You should need no interpreter

 to understand their character.

 You now have learned enough to see

 That Cats are much like you and me

 And other people whome we find

 Possessed of various types of mind.

 For some are sane and some are mad

 And some are good and some are bad

 And some are better, some are worse -

 But all may be described in verse.

 You've seen them both at work and games,

 And learnt about their proper names,

 Their habits and their habitat:

 But

    How would you ad-dress a Cat?

 So first, your memory I'll jog,

 And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.

 Now Dogs pretend they like to fight;

 They often bark, more seldom bite;

 But yet a Dog is, on the whole,

 What you would call a simple soul.

 Of course I'm not including Pekes,

 And such fantastic canine freaks.

 The usual Dog about the Town

 Is much inclined to play the clown,

 And far from showing too much pride

 Is frequently undignified.

 He's very easily taken in -

 Just chuck him underneath the chin

 Or slap his back or shake his paw,

 And he will gambol and guffaw.

 He's such an easy-going lout,

 He'll answer any hail or shout.

 Again I must remind you that

 A Dog's a Dog - A CAT'S A CAT.

 With Cats, some say, one rule is true:

 Don't speak till you are spoken to.

 Myself, I do not hold with that -

 I say, you should ad-dress a Cat.

 But always keep in mind that he

 Resents familiarity.

 I bow, and taking off my hat,

 Ad-dress him in this form: O CAT!

 But if he is the Cat next door,

 Whom I have often met before

 (He comes to see me in my flat)

 I greet him with an OOPSA CAT!

 I've heard them call him James Buz-James -

 But we've not got so far as names.

 Before a Cat will condescend

 To treat you as a trusted friend,

 Some little token of esteem

 Is needed, like a dish of cream;

 And you might now and then supply

 Some caviare, or Strassburg Pie,

 Some potted grouse, or salmon paste -

 He's sure to have his personal taste.

 (I know a Cat, who makes a habit

 Of eating nothing else but rabbit,

 And when he's finished, licks his paws

 So's not to waste the onion sauce.)

 A Cat's entitled to expect

 These evidences of respect.

 And so in time you reach your aim,

 And finally call him by his NAME.

 So this is this, and that is that:

 And there's how you AD-DRESS A CAT.

T.S. Eliot
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