Kayjay<P> <P><P>"Passer sa vie à lutter contre la connerie est le meilleur procédé pour mourir dépuisement."<P> Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls:And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility." And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Cat did not care one way or the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Animal Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. Albert Scwheitzer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condorman Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Hi Dooood, I havent heared those lyrics before and ive got all the Genisis cd's, Im wondering if it was a live version, I dident realise he was relidgeous either, still what a great artist, I like dogs meself, most dogs, and very few people, ive got an afinity with um, think it might be the smell...condor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnM Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Condorman... don't you read postings? It clearly says "In the Book of Genesis"... so the words are not on a CD. However, I've had look on Amazon and I can't find the book, the nearest seems to be 9. The Complete Rock Family Trees: the Development and History of Rock Performers including Eric Clapton, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, Fleetwood Mac, Genesis, Madness, T.Rex, Police.. So perhaps it's in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayB Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 [quote]Condorman... don't you read postings? It clearly says "In the Book of Genesis"... so the words are not on a CD. However, I've had look on Amazon and I can't find the book, the nearest seems to be ...[/quote]I like the recent reference to the Stones' Tour as 'THE STROLLING BONES'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gitane Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 [quote]It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls: And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not se...[/quote]On the subject of Genesis :- In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Crispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said "You want chocolate with that?" and Man said "Yes!" and Woman said "and while you're at it add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled. And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken and fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and said "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it Devil's Food". God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its £1.99 double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied “Yes!” And super size them!" And Satan said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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