Australian Bricklayers Accident Report

[Bugsy]

AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT
 
Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian
equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.
 
This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin
Award for sure.......
 
Dear Sir,
 
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause
of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.
 
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,
I found that I had some bricks left over which, when
weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.
 
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
on the sixth floor.
 
Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out
and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135
lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to
say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
 
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as
listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly,
I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right
hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
 
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
 
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
 
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed
approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
 
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
 
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
 
I am sorry to report, however,as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
 
I hope this answers your inquiry.
 
Kevin Roben
Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd
PO Box 5004 (11 Dobney Ave)
Wagga Wagga NSW 2650

[Russethouse]

Gerard Hofnung at the Oxford Union debate c1953

 http://www.wippit.com/DetailItem.aspx?StrItemID=39798&StrMediaID=834982&StrMediaType=S

http://www.audiobookscorner.com/Title.aspx?titleId=483

 

Honestly !!![:D]

[Bugsy]

1953, I was still in short trousers then...........................[:$]

[Russethouse]

I was in a pram......[:D]

[Cat]

Yes, sorry Bb http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.asp  [kiss]

[Bugsy]

Yes, but what were you doing in 1953 ?

[kiss]

[Cat]

Allowing my mother to get an education as I wasn't even a twinkle in her eye at the time, and she would still have been at school [:)]

[Bugsy]

Is your nose getting longer at this time.....................[:D][:D]

[Cat]

No, I honestly wasn't born then. I'll give you a clue, my name was chosen because of the song that was number one on the day I was born.

[Bugsy]

Got it........................................

[kiss]

[Clair]

[quote user="Cat"]No, I honestly wasn't born then. I'll give you a clue, my name was chosen because of the song that was number one on the day I was born.[/quote]

This one? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathy's_Clown

Snap! [:D]

[Russethouse]

I have to say that I remember the Gerard Hoffnung recording from a little later, but somewhere on the internet it mentioned 1953. Note: even Gerard Hoffnung didn't claim it was original, but read it as a letter he had been sent, rather like his correspondence with an Austrian landlady 'There is a French Widow in every bedroom'

PS I was named after a heroine in a Womans Hour Serial, I guess if I'd have been a boy I'd have been called Llewellyn, great in Wales, but a trifle exotic in 1950's Maidenhead [:)]

[just john]

[quote user="Cat"]No, I honestly wasn't born then. I'll give you a clue, my name was chosen because of the song that was number one on the day I was born.[/quote]

1960, Great year that, I was a teenager for the first time and this was the first 45 I bought, [8-|]
have you heard this version though?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW7kAOi_Dp8&feature=related