The builders guide to annoying people....

[dave21478]

Are you a builder?

Do you want to hack people right off?

Follow this simple step-by-step guide and you too can become the bain of peoples Monday mornings.

 

Step 1 - Turn up at 6.30am with several noisy diesel engined vehicles.

step 2 - Be overly cheery when confronted with a bleary-eyed Dave.

Step 3 - Be the spitting image of Steve Wright from radio2.

step 4 - Reverse your Maniscopic across the flower beds. For best results, peer down from the cab and give the "Gallic shrug"

step 5 - Spend 3 non-stop hours hammering metal tubes.

step 6 - chew the lawn to bits with your mini digger.

step 7 - Break for morning coffee just before 10am. During this period, you can think up further ways to ruin Dave`s day.

 

Be sure to read chapter 2 tomorrow.

 

[andyh4]

Step 8 - after a tradional lengthy lunch, pack up and leave the job for between 3 and 6 weeks.

 

Welcome to French Builders Steve.

[Just Katie]

Keeping entering the kitchen unannounced with a dirty mug and say to Mrs Dave, "Oooh is that a nice cup of tea I can smell luv?"  And don't forget the 'luv'..... that bit is really important.

[Catalpa]

When Mr Builder thinks that it's really witty to say:

"Kettle broken, luv?"

"Er... no...?"

"Well what's stopping you making me a cup of tea then?" Builder chuckles.

Builder stops chuckling when I apply my knee to his groin with sufficient force to nestle his testicles back against his spine. [:D]

Doesn't get the job finished very fast but no court in the land (comprising female judge and jury) would convict me  for GBH.

[dave21478]

Contrary to all expectations, they have done a great job. They have got a hell of a lot done today and its looking good so far. Im actually impressed, and Im not easilly impressed normally.

The lawn is a complete write-off though, the mini-digger has chewed it to oblivion. At least it has been dry though, so no actual mud.

 

They are French builders, so demands for cups of tea are non-existant, although there is an impressive display of small roll-up cigarettes hanging from bottom lips with seemingly no means of attatchment.

[dave21478]

Its all very strange, they turn up at 7.30 every day, work hard, breaks arent excessively long, and they are doing great work. They pack up each night and leave the place tidy.

Its not what I was expecting at all.

Which is nice.

 

 

[Sunday Driver]

I found the same thing with my French plumber and tiler when they did me a complete new bathroom.

They'd arrive early, take a half hour lunch break, and leave late.  I had to literally drag them off the job to have a beer break.  Each evening, I'd peek into the room to see how they were getting on and was amazed to see they'd cleared out any accumulated rubbish/rubble, as well as wiping down all the existing (old) floor/wall tiles, leaving them actually sparkling.....[:-))]

The finished job was perfect too.... 

 

 

[mint]

Wish I could say the same for mine but I guess you get good and bad everywhere and it's the luck of the draw.

[Chancer]

In my local town where everything shuts down for between 2 and 2 1/2 hours each day, where if you walk into any shop or supermarket within 25 minutes of the official lunch(not)hour time you are either verbally abused or thrown out, where places that dont close for lunch like the tourism office hang out the same "fermature exceptionelle sign each and every midi................... I could go on; yesterday I saw an amazing site[blink]

At a new building site, it will be a centre d'hebergement (school hotel) that is springing up in an unbeleivable short time for this region  measured in weeks instead of years, the whole site was teeming with guys working during the lunch period, there was an endless line of  white vans alongside signwritten for many various independant trades that I have never before seen in France. For a moment I blinked and thought that I was back working in London and then I saw the reality.

They all carried red number plates [:D]