Dog Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I was on my afternoon tramp in the woods when I mused on things you shouldn't say to people.The French have a phrase for it l'Esprit d'escalier "the spirit that passes on the staircase".I thought of a few but I am sure more can be added.1. How often do you beat your wife?2. Could you recommend a good psychiatrist?3. You are quite pretty for an obese lady.4. So how long have you been in the BNP?5. What's it like being a rascist?6. Are you considering plastic surgery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owens88 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 7. You are witty when I am drunk. Cheers John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 [quote user="Dog"] I was on my afternoon tramp in the woods [/quote]Was your morning tramp jealous? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 [quote user="Cat"][quote user="Dog"] I was on my afternoon tramp in the woods [/quote]Was your morning tramp jealous?[/quote] Yes - two a day man me. Need all the exercise I can get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boiling a frog Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Can you speak in English ,Jock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callie Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Spoken by a woman to another woman :"My dear, that dress really does suit you. I think that every time you wear it" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 Nice dress - but how are you going to turn it back into a curtains? I remember when that suit was in fashion. That's a lovely dress could you lend me the pattern? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just john Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Act your age not your dress sizeHow old are you darlingWhat do you weigh darling[:-))] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 I do so admire your double chinAre you doing overtime for the zoo or is that your husband.It's not fancy dress you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre ZFP Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 (to large lady in a Guess T shirt?)Thyroid problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Said to me when I went to the doc's regarding a mole that had changed shape and did it need any attention, " No, but we can fix your face..." ( I have some mild sun damage "freckling" to my cheeks!) [:P] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnOther Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 The truth if they can't take it [:'(] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 "When is the baby due"? asked in conversation to a husband of his large wife sitting in their car when the reply was, "What !!, she's not pregnant!!"Not one of my better comments..............................[:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keni Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 My husband and friend Les were in a disco many years ago (Yorkshiremen) and Les couldn't understand why his face was slapped when he said:'You dance well for a fat lass'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keni Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Chris also has added that Les continued - ' You don't sweat much either for a fat lass!'I just love that Yorkshire charm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powerdesal Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Q. If you know all those people that I know, how come we haven't met before?A. I guess I've just been lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavorgere Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Him - ' I'm not as stupid as you think I am 'Her - ' Oh God I hope not ! ' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnOther Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 In a disco with a mate many moons ago, he was chatting up a bird.She "I have been married you know"He "I know, it's written all over your face"End of....![:D][:D][:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 In a bar in New York 'I am dying for a fag!' (yes, I did say it!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I asked my husband this week what he liked about me. I know. I know. A bit of a dangerous question. He thought about it for rather a long time and then replied: 'Your hair and your teeth - they both haven't changed since I married you'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Théière Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 [quote user="odile"]In a bar in New York 'I am dying for a fag!' (yes, I did say it!)[/quote]And did you get one? [Www] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchie Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 I said " Your son really looks like you" " We adopted him " [:$] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceni Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 [quote user="Cathy"]I asked my husband this week what he liked about me. I know. I know. A bit of a dangerous question. He thought about it for rather a long time and then replied: 'Your hair and your teeth - they both haven't changed since I married you'.[/quote]Surely the safest answer to such a daft question is "everything"? Your husband's answer leaves him wide open to a likely response of "you mean you dislike everything else about me "?John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 While being wheeled into the operating theatre this week I commented that I had a name tag on each arm. The nurse helpfully told me that it was in case they had to cut one off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babcock Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 A friend made the other faux pas in NY while working in an office. He asked someone to pass him a rubber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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