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oliveau

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......sharing his family's secret recipe for Eau de Vie, the village's life-blood. Armed with that, he could turn his new found love for alcohol into a thriving local industry and the financial rewards would help him to..........
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.... trouble was the whole village stank of goat but there was not a single goat in sight. That goaty smell was because there was no proper washing facilities in the people's home. These new incomers from that far away Anglosaxon land battled with Marie and Le Maire at the Mairie to have une fosse sceptique installed and them new fangled indoor ponds to wash in. All that the native could help them with was a bidet for which they knew not how to use.........
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Raphaels wife michaela used hers to rinse off the soil from the potatoes and salad from that English woman across the road, Michaela tutted every time she saw her....she had never settled into village life that English one, walking around and doing her house work without a pinny on, its not as though they couldn't afford one, after all evryone knows les Anglaise are.......
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The French also have a problem with their memories, when was it that the teams from the european cup knocked the French ones off the leader board???????? So back down at the local bar and PMU discussions were lively, what with Football, fosse ceptics , the latest style of pinnies and guessing whose knickers belong to which resident on the washing line up the road, did they realy think that Mme pierretta with 5 children wore those strings or where hers the camis or....
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What happened was.............

...........Enid, who had previously been married to the vigneron's younger brother (but divorced him when she caught him in a compromising position with the maire's wife), confronted both the vigneron and the maire when they were eating their 10 euro lunches together in the back yard of the auberge.

"Aha," she exclaimed, "so there is a conspiracy going on. I just cannot believe that.................

 

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What happened was.............

...........that Enid, who had previously been married to the vigneron's younger brother (but divorced him when she caught him in a compromising position with the maire's wife), confronted both the vigneron and the maire when they were eating their 10 euro lunches together in the back yard of the auberge.

"Aha," she exclaimed, "so there is a conspiracy going on. I just cannot believe that.................

 

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...but they won't be able to do it for long.. with the climate change soon France will be too hot to produce wine and the wine will have to be imported from England and Scotland with a big taxe d'importation on it and prices will go up.....
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.......green wellies and Barbour coats. Meanwhile, Enid Truscott was feeling depressed, lonely and full of lust for Claude the swarthy young blacksmith, so reaching into her bedside cabinet for the item she had secreted there, and fitting it with a new battery, she........................
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....would surely help re-curl the straightened tail of her prize pig. She needed her piece of pork to win competitions again and he could not do it with his short and curly hanging straight!

Winning some prizes and the kudos that went with it, must, she believed, elevate her in the eyes of the blacksmith....

However, life was not going to be that easy. In her haste to get her tongs repaired, she inadvertently picked up her 'personal' piece of electrical equipment and marched into the electrician's brandishing that! Thrusting the big silver object under his nose, she said............." 

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