chirpy Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 ..queing for bananas! for God's sake what is wrong with him is it the weather ,his petanque team or the loss of his ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suninfrance Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 ...... portrait of the fallen madonna with the big boobies. Any member of Rene's staff could have told him where to look for the painting, but ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 He logged onto 'Living France' forum and got involved in writing a piece for Suninfrance. And forgot all about the 'Fallen Madonna with the big boobies', until he went to check out that strange smell from his fosse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chauffour Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 ..it whas then when he realized the bidet was not to be used for mixing paint... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 ...so he returned and carefully picked up the madona with the big boobies in case it was booby-trapped -you never know as there are spis evryver vu luk and he did nat vant to loose his ands be4 he ad the chance to touch th emadonna-ahhhhh what memories of pleasues the beach at Blackpool brings bak to me-but i digress-meanwhile ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted May 15, 2007 Author Share Posted May 15, 2007 .....at the pissoir in the village square M Robinet, the plombier, and M. Gouttiere, the charpentier, cordially shook........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 ..heads in complete disbelief that another visiter had left withiut sayiny goodbye--he could not face giving them 2 kisses on each of thier cheeks...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 .... that made for a lot of kisses and so many cheeks! it was beyond his britishness to do so, though.... had there been ladies in the group he would have ventured forth..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 ...and kissed them with passion-you see it is not like thet in other countries -you either shake them by the hand or bow or kurtsy --but never the former after they have been in the pissoir because you never know if .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted May 16, 2007 Author Share Posted May 16, 2007 ....if they prefer a quarterpounder or a cheese-burger. Mme Sommier exited from the quincaillerie just in time to see the Maire................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powerdesal Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 ...and the Gendarme, Marc, inspecting the car of a local rosbif to see if the number plate was secured in the approved manner. Alors cried Marc, this car is screwed!!!! at which M Le Maire said "talking of being screwed......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 I hear there is another English lady in the next village who would make hand made screws and in return all she wants is....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrCanary Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 ...a free year's subscription to Living France magazine. Sadly though, the editor had the reputation of........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Being a tight wad , even when he visited the PMU he......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted May 17, 2007 Author Share Posted May 17, 2007 ..........being a skilled ventriloquist would on entering the PMU, cry out in the Patron's voice 'Free drinks all round' before............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 ..AND WITH THAT AHUGE CROWD APPEARED WITH GIANT SMILES AND A THIRST TO MATCH... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted May 18, 2007 Author Share Posted May 18, 2007 ........that of a US army Hummer. In the general hub-bub Marie managed to manipulate the Maire's....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Brothers wife into parting with some of her homemade fig wine to pass round, that would .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 ...clean their inards like sennapod tea on Sunday-the family ritual to prevent worms and... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted May 19, 2007 Author Share Posted May 19, 2007 ...........increase the palatibility of andouilletes. Suddenly the square was full of people, and a passing South American Nadger paused and.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powerdesal Posted May 19, 2007 Share Posted May 19, 2007 ...shouted "I'm a South American Nadger, does anyone know what means?", and at once the reply came....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted May 19, 2007 Share Posted May 19, 2007 ..nadurately it is a cross between a nat and a badger!The crowd listening to this statment shook their heads in complete disbelief because the difference is.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted May 20, 2007 Author Share Posted May 20, 2007 ........clearly visible to Pomeranian asylum seekers with glass eyes. Jean Claude, the piegeur was in a ferment......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 .....was in a fermentation vat. He stumbled by mistake into the local brewery. How? He who was an avowed tea totaller and had signed the oath of allegiance to the Temperance League. Never mind he thought..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted May 21, 2007 Author Share Posted May 21, 2007 .....it's midi, so it's worth going over to the Café de Ville so see if Claudette can oblige me by........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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