Banned from Le Clerc

[just john]

Yesterday
I was at my local Le Clerc buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
no,
I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified,
she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Le Clerc.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say. [:D]

  

 

[woolybanana]

Purina seems to have gone to your head, John!

[Chancer]

A women once confided in me that she used to feed her late husband Kit-E-Kat because he loved it so much, I said surely that it could not have been good for him and she said well I suppose that it did lead to his death but he loved it so much and wouldnt eat anything else.

Did he die of food poisoning then? I asked.

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No he broke his neck trying to lick his ar5e! 

[Frenchie]

Wish you could hear me giggle!! [:D]