Charly Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 TERRORIST ANNOUNCEMENT[;-)]The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved".Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the English issued "A Bloody Nuisance" level warning was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's Get The Bastards".They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror level from "Run" to "Hide". The only higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual: the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully -designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.Australia, meanwhile,has raised its security level from "No Worries" to "She'll be Alright Mate". Three more escalation levels remains: "Crikey, We May Need to Cancel the Barbie This Weekend", and "The Barbie is Cancelled".............................. Any mortally offended English/Scottish/French/Spanish/Italian/German/Belgian/Australian souls reading this..........complain to John Cleese !!!! Have a great week, everybody [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crossy67 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Love it [:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Fantastic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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