The Afghan Footballer

[NormanH]

he Liverpool FC manager flies to Kabul to watch a young

Afghani play football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to

come over.

       Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20

minutes left, the manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod and

on he goes.

       The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins

the game for Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players and

coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

       When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell

her about his first day in English football.

       'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes

today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won.  Everybody loves

me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'

       'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your

father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were

ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of

looters, and all while you were having

       such great time.'

       The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry.'

       'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' says his mum,

       So you should be! 'It's your bloody fault we came to Liverpool

in the first place!'

[Dog]

Good one.

I had a lad that worked for me in UK. He was an Indian chucked out of Uganda by Idi Amin. For  reasons better only known to his parents they arrived in Newcastle. He said he was confused as he couldn't understand a word for the first few months.

The family later moved to Northamptonshire - Atuls party trick was speaking in a broad Geordie accent.