Pierre ZFP Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a young leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in the deepest of doggie-doo-doo's now!"Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "O'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says."Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!Moral of this story.............Don't mess with the old, for age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bulls**t and brilliance only come with age and experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gardian Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Excellent. (Dick Smith will probably now tell me / us that the joke has been doing the rounds for 27 yrs!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Did you want me to?I've never seen it before, as it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob T Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 A very old couple are sitting in church one Sunday when the old man says to his wife, "I have just passed wind and it was silent but deadly, what shall I do?"The old lady says "Get some new batteries for your hearing aid!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Now that IS funny...In fact I think I was there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Don't mess with the old, for age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bulls**t and brilliance only come with age and experience by Pierre The joke was great Pierre ! I've never heard it before but I have seen the above quote - my OH has it on his computer as part of his screensaver !! [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre ZFP Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 [quote user="Dick Smith"]Now that IS funny...In fact I think I was there![/quote]I think it was ME [:-))] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Similar lines but off-topic, in a way........................After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty." After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that crazy old f*rt," she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in January and ............ the second time is in August." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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