hastobe Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Some of the finest double-entendres on British TV & Radio. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - " Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny,other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Nice ones. My favourite was one of the late Brian Johnston's test match commentaries: "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chessfou Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 I think will's runs my own favourite rather close:Sir Thomas Beecham (to a lady cellist) - "Madam, you have between your legs the greatest instrument known to man and all you can do is scratch it" (from memory).From my own experience, something I mentioned on another thread a while ago - a young lady in a local supermarket last summer was handing out some fruit to taste, looked me in the eye and asked if I would like to taste her "abricot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weedon Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 Following on from Wills quote about cricket is another one concerning Brian Johnston which is better when listened to. Listen to it on this link, the fun starts about 20 seconds into the clip.Click on Audio MP3http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2004/03/20/brian-johnston-jonathan-agnew/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YCCMB Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 Late one night I was driving home from somewhere and a famous weather presenter (so famous, in fact, that I can't remember who) was talking about a book he'd just written. He told the story of a colleague, who had had a trick played on him by the crew at the BBC.In those days, as many of you will recall, the weather symbols were magnetic ones which the presenter stuck onto the map as he (or she) read the forecast. Little clouds, Little clouds with raindrops, little suns, snowflakes, etc. The only type of weather for which no symbol existed was fog, and if it was forecast, the presenter would stick the letters "F" "O" and "G" on the map in the appropriate places. On this particular occasion, fog was, indeed, forecast for the next day, but the studio crew had stuck something over the back of the letter "F" to prevent it sticking to the map properly. As a result, it kept falling off, and the presenter kept picking it up and trying valiantly to make it stick. In the end, he ran out of time and drew to the end of his spot, with the immortal words "Well, that's tomorrow's weather, and I'm sorry about the "F" in Fog" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le martin-pêcheur Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 Hi,Best one I've heard.She asked me for a double-entendre, so, I gave her one!CheersTony www.flyfishinginfrance.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 Or the famous one that got Max Miller banned from TV:"I was walking along this mountain path when I came across this beautiful naked woman. There was no room to go round her, so I didn't know whether to toss meself off, or block her passage."Or"Have you heard about the girl of eighteen who swallowed a pin, but didn't feel the prick until she was twenty-one?"Ah, the golden age of comedy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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