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DIY, or not to DIY........


Ford Anglia

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Here are a few rules of DIY, that I found on another forum:

1. It's going to take longer than you think.
2. Make sure you have sufficient plasters/bandages in your first aid box,.
3. You will never buy everything you need in one trip to the DIY store.
4. You will always find out that there's a tool required that you don't have....
5. ....Or you do have one, but it's broken.
6. Non-drip paint does.
7. Materials usually come in one of four sizes: Too small, too much, too big to fit in the car, or too flipping heavy to pick up.
8. You will always hang on to the offcuts/half empty tins of paint 'just in case they come in useful'. They never do.
9. Water and electricity do not go together.
10. Never step back to admire your handiwork. You'll either fall off the ladder or step on and break something important/expensive.

11. The minute you realise you haven't bought enough, or have bought the wrong size/colour etc, that's when the shop shuts.

12. And if 12 happens, it's almost always bank holiday, sunday, or both, one after the other, the next day.

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Best DIY subject heading I ever saw was "Once - It Is Not" on I think Screwfix.

" 8. You will always hang on to the offcuts/half empty tins of paint 'just in case they come in useful'. They never do."  Until the day after you finally took them down the dump.

13. The torque required to tighten any French fitting is about 20 % more than the strength needed to strip the threads.

14. As soon as you tighten the domino just enough to hold the wire firmly in a French socket the wire breaks.

15 However many DIY stores you visit you will always lack exactly one joint.

16. Waste pipe will either slide in for the test fitting and then jam completely or prove impossible to insert atall.

17. On the rare days when you get you copper pipe truly round you will find you have oval fittings.

18. All off cuts of pipe are exactly 1 cm too short.

 

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