Alan Zoff Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Don't know which broadsheet this was taken from but it arrived with my emails this morning:The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's entire military capability.It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so, when sailing round the British Isles, the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trumpet Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoddy Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Very funny, Alan.I think they may have followed the lead of last week's "Now Show" on Radio 4 which was even funnier.It's fairly easy to do when no innocents were injured.Hoddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnOther Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Very good, I'm not too sure about forwarding to my pal in Germany though................[blink] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gluestick Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Why?Are you living near the border, Ern?[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnOther Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 No, though sometimes close to the edge...[6] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford Anglia Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Well I've translated it into French and sent it to a French friend[6]No response as yet[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford Anglia Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Well I've translated it into French and sent it to a French friend[6]No response as yet[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.