Bugsy Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 (the three *** represent a.s.s.)The Pastor's AssThe pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in therace again, and it won again.The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he orderedthe pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.The next day, the local paper headline read:BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to getrid of the donkey.The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headlinethe next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.The bishop fainted.He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, soshe sold it to a farmer for $10.The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy backthe donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The bishop was buried the next day.The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinioncan bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.So be yourself and enjoy life.Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happierand live longer!Have a nice day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnolia Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 What more can I say except superb!! That gave me a real chuckle and its oh so true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted October 4, 2007 Author Share Posted October 4, 2007 Try this for a encore...........................A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" I love this part.... (scroll down) >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "Only when he's been drinking." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.