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How old is too Old?


Mme poivre

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I have just been given the fantastic news that a friends wife had given birth to twins, well you can imagine I am over the moon for them they were a healty 6lb each and doing well.  the thing that got me thinking was, that although I am really pleased for them, the mother will be retired before they leave school.  Now I know how hard it is to be an 'older mum' as they say having had my first child relatively young and my last some 18 years later. It was really hard.

This led me to thinking of other things, for exmple some of the kids at school think I am too old to go out and enjoy myself, or have a quite smooch with my hubby.

What do you think?

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No-one will ever change a young person's perception of "old" people - after all, to an 18 year old, 30 is old, so heaven help those of us who are older than that !!!

To hell with what people think, Mme Poivre - that old expression "You are as old as you feel" still stands. I remember seeing elderly couples out walking on a Sunday afternoon in Germany and thought how touching it was. Go for it - and enjoy it !!!!!

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As everybody no doubt knows by now, I'm not a kiddie person so wouldn't have them at any age myself!

However, I see the problem here not as being that the parents may be old while their children are growing up but that they may be dead.  The chances of both parents surviving diminish the older they are, of course they do.  I have a friend who is my age and who had her son relatively late in life.  He has just lost his father whilst still at uni'.  I think it's tough enough growing up, without the possibility that your parents might pop their clogs because they're getting a bit long in the tooth.

 

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Yes, Ok, there are more risks of a parent dying when he s older than average, but then, you never know when your number comes up...

Would you say the same thing about a man and a woman?

There are advantages to being an older parent too, you generally have more time to spend with your child, you have a wiser view on things..

I'm speaking from experience.

 

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As said above, Frenchie, I cannot imagine why anybody would want to be a parent.   And the older I get the less child tolerant I become!  I support the right however, for anybody - of whatever age or sexual orientation etc etc, to have a child (naturally or otherwise) if they wish to do so (although I'd rather this desire wasn't subsidised by the state) even if they are single.  But I do reckon that most children would prefer to have two parents and certainly, if they have been used to having two, to keep them throughout their childhood.  I know of course that people get divorced, or can die young etc etc, but the chances are lessened if you're younger when you have your kids, that was my only point.  And I made it because the previous posts had only discussed the problem of being an older parent and hadn't mentioned this aspect, which I still think is something to be considered.
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I understand your point , and we re all different.

I couldn't have imagined my life without children .

My friend is 60 , and his smaller kid is 7 , he is the best of dads, OK, he will probably die when his last kid is still young, but this charming boy will have had a loving, caring, truely lovely dad, who has lots of time for his kids.

Maybe as good as having a dad who s never home and works all the time.

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I had an old father and a very young mother, guess which one I lost at the age of 15 [:(]

I can only see the positives of having an older father, he lived on till I was older than he was when he created me so no complaints on that score.

When I look at how most young couples behave in front of and treat their children I say to myself that they have not grown up themselves and are still fighting for dominancy over the other or for individualism (and I speak of parents up to the age of 35)

I never saw anything but harmony during my childhood, my parents were poor, worked hard but above all did everything they possibly could for myself and my elder siblings.

Interstingly I always find that the people whom I respect and get on well with had older parents as well.

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There are of course, many different viewpoints on this topic, we had our children when we were still young, possibly too young in some peoples views. All 3 children before either of us were 30, the first when we were both 21..

It was a conscious decision and, I believe, the right one for us. We were / are still young enough to enjoy our grandchildren in an energetic way and may even enjoy our great-grandchildren (if the eldest grand daughter follows the family ''tradition'' of marrying young and having children soon after).

Its not to everyone's  liking but it works / worked for us. Our children travelled around the World with us, grew up and experienced different places and cultures and, I believe, are better adults because of that experience.

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I can say that having had my twins later in life, I am glad that I have given them all my attention, not concentrating on what I want to be 'when I grow up' and resenting having them for missing out on something or other.  And they keep you young and fit.[:)]

Georgina

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Hi all

Thank you for the replys they make interesting reading. Well done georgina I am jealous really.[:P]

I think that last night was feeling my age rather alot and when I was given the news of the new babies I was a bit overwhelemed. The very Idea of looking after very young children for the forseeable futre and not being able to give them back made me feel even older.  

However, saying that my eldest grandchild will be nine tomorrow and I am looking forward to celebrating it with him. Hubby wants me to go mountain biking at the week end as well!  There is hope for me yet..... x

 

 

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I am the oldest mother in the playground - by far - because my 4 children arrived after I was 40.  I didn't plan it that way.  But the way that it has turned out has been great.  My husband and I did my 'high living' before they arrived and so we are there for them all the time.  We haven't had the financial worries or unfulfilled ambitions that younger parents have.

Having young children is better than Botox.  No one guesses my age, even those mothers in the playground who are 20 years younger than me.  I just have to be careful not to mention that I was in school when Pompidou died.

Being an older parent is highly recommended...

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