Cat Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "By heck but it's c-c-c-cold out there" said the blue rabbit, tapping the snow off her magic wand. "But what on earth is going on here, what are you doing to my mate the sausage?" Raising her wand high above her shoulders, she muttered the magic words "apple and rhubarb" and pulled something small and brown and ever-so-slightly-steaming out of her top hat."How on earth did that get there" she cried, eyeing Betty suspiciously."Oh, I see you've found the Christmas pudding" said Betty in delight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "Save me, Wabbit" wailed the poor sausage, drips of fat oozing deliciously from his ends. "Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "But everyone here is my friend" exclaimed the wabbit,"Dick, I really love you but sometimes your grammer is appalling, which is very difficult for the fairy godmother to decipher on a saturday evening. Little sausage, I love you too with your humour you make everyone laugh but I have noticed you have been nasty to a little welsh shepherdess in the past. BFW, we are very close and worry that you often get yourself in so much trouble.... but on the other hand..... Oh I cant decide who I love the most" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "But I'm a reformed character. And I've brought presents for everyone, here in my sausage skin sack!" said the sossy."I've brought gold, frankinsence, myhrr, lard, fat, pig lips and all sorts of other goodies". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 And there was so much love and magic in the air that the little sausage, who had arrived with a drum like the little soldier boy (tara ta tum tum) was suddenly magically wearing not a stripey smelly blanket, but a shiny new santa outfit."Oooh, no he wasn't, oh yes he was". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 The lovely friendly cat sitting on the beam purrred contentedly as the sausage pulled a mouse from his bulging sack and lobbed it to her. She caught it deftly between her paws and leapt to the floor, where she placed the mouse carefully between the feet of the woodcutter. "I'm a vegetarian cat" she said, to everyone's surprise. Betty smiled and said "Fancy that - a vegetarian cat!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "Have, you heard the news?" said the fairy godmother."Pray what what", they shouted together."Someone we have not seen for a long time has answere our prayers and is back in town. She was last seen posting on the 13 year old girl thread"Everyone sat open mouthed. Which made the little sausage feel very uneasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 And while the rest of the world read the tale of the 13 year old girl, the blue rabbit eyed the cat warily and backed a little further into the shadows. "are you quite certain you're a vegetarian cat" she squeeked in alarm.The sausage pushed aside his bulging sack and wiped away the slowly congealing fat that had been dripping from his end for quite some time now, and the cat smiled widely and sharpened her claws on the remains of the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 All was quiet in the house except for the clawing of the door. As the party scoured through the thread, the fairygod mother got very impatient."For heavens sake you bunch of bimbo's it's Teamed Up. TEAMED UP IS BACK IN TOWN""I give up, I really do. I think I will look after another forum" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "Well say something!!!" Screamed the fairy godmother."Oh I give up and she stormed out into the snow with all her petticoats flouncing around her""Sherry anyone?" asked Betty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted December 5, 2006 Author Share Posted December 5, 2006 Oh dear, this seems to be getting a bit out of hand, thought Betty and the worst problem lingering in the back of her mind still bugged her. Where is everyone going to sleep ? She only had the really comfortable big double bed and a small single 'clic-clac'. What am I going to do, without upsetting someone.Dick was fairly plastered, but still sore from the 35% burns he received to his head, Chris was fairy sober but she thought she had noticed a bit of a glint in his good eye.................................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YCCMB Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 The assembled group all turned to glare at Betty, as the ornately carved totem pole which had once been her front door flapped back and forth behind the fairy, threatening to fall into the salon and squash the sausage. Dick had begun to snore under the bucket, and the cat and rabbit were eyeing each other nervously. "I only asked...." she said, rather sulkily. At that moment, Dick started to play what appeared to be the Nokia ringtone from under his bucket. Everyone looked round as the noise grew louder, when the fairy flounced back in, and with an "Oh, for Goodness' sake!" pulled the bucket from Dick's head, removed his santa hat, and retrieved the mobile phone from underneath. "Hello?" she said. "Well, blige me! Said a familiar voice "Who's that, and wheres me old mate Dick?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "Oh there you are me old mate" exclaimed the BFW, " Is it really the season of goodwill?" he growled..."OK who wants a snog, I've just gathered all this mistletoe!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted December 5, 2006 Author Share Posted December 5, 2006 Yuk !!!, said the rabbit and the sausage.........................................I'd rather kiss the bloke with the bucket on his head.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 The fairy godmother looked at him aghast and said " youve no chance with me you wood whittler, I'm Gay!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Who fancies kissing me, sang a voice from the door. They all looked around and there stood Twinkle, with a naughty smile and holding a bunch of mistletoe above her head as she does at every christmas gathering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Not being one to take no for an answer the BFW sidled over to the Fairy Godmother, both hands cupped over his ears, mindful of the painful nature of her rebukes, "Erm" he muttered sheepishly to her, "Yes?" she replied sternly, bravely BFW summed up all his courage..."Fancy a snog luv?". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 "Ahem" said the fairy, "I'm rather afraid I'm alergic to Mistletoe"Dick stirred and hiccuped gently, and muttered something about hell freezing over first, as several more of his singed whiskers fell to the floor.The cat hissed, and turned away aloofly.The BFW cast Betty a come-hither look, and whispered softly "so, how about it my fine young filly".The rabbit and the sausage fixed their gaze on the BFW's fine totem pole, as he advanced slowly in Betty's direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 All this made Twinkle very jealous. So BFW is after Betty, the fairygod mother and Twinkle. Gosh he is insatiable she thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted December 5, 2006 Author Share Posted December 5, 2006 (a timely note for all children reading this book)...........Look Away Now[:D][:D][:P] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 At that very moment, there was yet another knock at what was left of the door. Standing at the threshold, shivering in the cold night air, was Jean-Phillipe, the new local collector of the Taxe de Sejour."Bonsoir mes amis" said Jean-Phillipe."Bog off" shouted the rabbit, the sausage, Twinkle, the fairy godmother, the cat, the BFW, Dick and Betty in unison, in what must surely be the one and only time that they had ever been in agreement about anything."off.. off.. off" echoed the voice of Jon the rosbif from the other side of the mountain."Whew" sighed Betty, eyeing the BFW as Jean-Phillipe beat a hasty, somewhat bewildered retreat " that was a narrow escape".Twinkle stamped her pretty feet and knashed her pearly teeth in frustration, was the BFW never to be hers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YCCMB Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Betty knotted the ties of her festive tabard more tightly under her ample bosom, and ran her tongue around her dentures. She sensed a bit of an "atmosphere" in her salon, and she wasn't about to engage in a battle with Twinkle for the amorous intentions of the mistletoe wielding axeman. In fact, she still had eyes only for the sausage, since Michel at the Co-Op had informed her that due to a festive rush, all he had to offer her was a saucisson sec that had passed its sell-by date, and that even so he was unprepared to negotiate on price. A small voice was still shouting " hello! helloooo! " from the mobile, as the assembled group continued to eye one another warily..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Mikis mobile phone bill was mounting. On the end of the line he became aware of the tension that filled house in which his friend lay, defenceless.Meanwhile, at a bus shelter some kilometres away, a small group of people huddled over a map. Betty, in one of her lonliest moments - moments she was currently looking back on with nostalgia - had previously invited a disparate group of people to 'pop in anytime'. As Bixy folded the map, he wondered whether he had been rash proposing to Tresco that morning. Still, no need to dwell on that for now! Here he was, miles from Charente Maritime: that matter could wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Meanwhile, back at Betty's, the sherry was beginning to take effect, and the atmosphere was dense with unfulfilled wishes and desires.Twinkle bit her lip and glared at Betty, as Betty pouted and simpered at the sausage, her ample bosom heaving. The sausage however was admiring the shapely turn of the rabbit's ankles, and thinking how strange it was that he had never before noticed quite how attractive a rabbit could be, and how wonderful it might be to snuggle softly against in all that glorious blue fur.The BFW's thoughts turned to his sheep, bad shepherd!On the other end of the phone, Mikki was beginning to lose his temper, would no one ever let him speak to his friend?But Dick continued to snore gently, his deep sleep interrupted only by an occaisional deadly emmission brought about by an ill-advised overconsumption of sprouts the night before.The cat, sitting on the window sill with her nose pressed against the glass, was the only one to observe the raggle-taggle group of voyagers as they made their weary way through the snowy night towards Betty's cottage. Little could the rabbit and Bixy know what fate had in store for them that evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 As the crowd grew nearer the noise became apparent. They were all talking at the same time but not saying much at all.Betty looked out of the window and screamed."Oh heavens above, what can I do the one liners have turned up"!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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