A plea from the heart

[woolybanana]

Well, as you all probably know, the last banana in the bowl often gets forgotten and goes all black and horrible. So, concerned for one of their members, the Banana High Council has decided that this banana should again take unto him a mate of the female variety. Soon, before he rots at the bottom of the Waterford, so should any of you wish a partner, or have a sister, aunt, cousin friend or whomsoever who might care to mate, please inform the banana and arrangements shall be made to initiate contact. Person over 50 who likes dogs with a slight touch of madness, solvent, etc. Banana CV available on request.

Thanks guys![:$]

[Alan Zoff]

Don't know about her taste in fruit but I gather Anne Widdicombe is at a loose end now.

[woolybanana]

That kind of insult I cannot take and shall call you out, sir. You shall choose bananas at ten paces.

And thank you for the PM someone, but babana needs a sha* was not really what I had in mind, more the longer term stuff.

[cooperlola]

Years ago, Wooly, I had a long conversation on the phone with a guy at a company who hired out costumes for television productions (he was asking me about our staff uniforms for a Morcambe and Wise sketch.)  We really hit it off and at the end of a long and very funny chat, he asked me out (pretty good as he hadn't a clue what I looked like - if he had he might have been less keen[:-))]).  I had to tell him that I was married and not on the market at the time.  The next day, he sent me a bunch of flowers with a note attached, saying simply: "Pity you're married". 

Thus I say unto you, Wooly darling "Pity I'm married."  (Not that you'd be interested in a fat bat in wheelchair anyway!) 

Good luck in your search - I wish you the best in finding the top banana for you.[kiss]

[woolybanana]

Thanks you Coops, I have always thought you were a sensitive, caring soul.

[Frederick]

http://www.lavaplace.com/?page=search&s_type=vote&s_view=listing&page_num=2&s_looking_for=0&s_gender=1&s_country=FR

You might have to take the camper van to Paris  

 

[woolybanana]

Thank you Fredo, but I rather like personal recommendations, like someone's sister, sort of thing. Better a Banana spouse from a known hand, safer that way.

[mint]

I seem to remember, Wools, that when I was a rookie on the Forum, I suggested that we all started looking out for a mate for you.  And Twinkle (God, where's that girl when you want her?) sent you a picture of Clarrisa Dickson Wright.

We know you'd like someone who can cook you nursery food like meat pies and deserts like Death by Banana and Banana Custard and so on and I thought she'd be ideal.  In fact, I saw her being interviewed by Fern Britton last Sunday and, now that she's sobered up, she sounds an eminently sensible and interesting woman.

I think I mentioned that she'd keep you cosy and warm between the sheets by night and keep you fed and happy by day.  Would you like her contact details?

[woolybanana]

Diabetes means cautious eating. Isn't she a cooking celebrity person of some sort, a bit spoilt?

[mint]

Is that an awakening interest I see there?  Can someone please send Wools a photo of Clarissa?  Hey, she's a real bluestocking and was a barrister before she was de-barred or whatever they call it for bankruptcy.

But she is B I G on TV and she must earn mega bucks at the moment......[;-)] 

[woolybanana]

Hmm, big girls who are big on TV don't seem such a good prospect!

[Clair]

Clarissa was being interviewed by Fern last Sunday...

[mint]

Look, Wools, beggars cannot be choosers...you ever heard that expression? 

So, what d'ya want then, a Lolita?[Www]

BTW, I sent you a PM earlier, before I read all this here, so please excuse me if I didn't specifically mention anyone in the PM.

Matchmaker, matchmaker........I'll try and find the relevant song for you from Fiddler on the Roof.

[cooperlola]

She is certainly what my o/h would describe as "a good bedful" - happily he has as much fat on him as a greasy chip and thus this is meant as a compliment.    Doesn't strike me as a bit spoilt, and in fact rather fun.  But possibly not your type  I have no idea.

Don't write off the idea of ads too quickly.  My dear old da', when rather younger than I am now, found a few partners via small ads - one or two rather lovely whom I still correspond with ( a vast improvement on my mother, that is for certain.)  You never know - might work for you, but I think you need to start with a banana-specific publication to find your true soul mate!

[mint]

Anyway, Wools, here's the song.  I know you are the match that someone like these girls might be looking for?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Hj7bp38f8

Good Luck!!!  You'd likely need it, my dear friend.....

[woolybanana]

A certain lady member has just made me a quite impertinent offer by the way, chaps, which involves rubber, electronic devices and something to do with the African Queen. Could be interesting. Pity she is allergic to dogs.

[mint]

[quote user="Clair"]Clarissa was being interviewed by Fern last Sunday...[/quote]

Thank you, Clair.  Nothing like a photo or several photos in this case to send the blood racing, don't you think?

At the very least, she'll be more than a match for the Old Banana, in the brains department, if nowhere else, heh?

[britgirl]

Just for you Wooly: this may help in your mission. Xx[:$] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG8cbZL44VM

[mint]

Oh, britgirl, if that doesn't help him come to terms with his banana nature, nothing will!

[mint]

So, where's the old boy gone?  He's uncharacteristically quiet!  Has his plea been answered, do you think?  Is there another lonely banana out there who is looking for and has now found our old Wooly?

Next installment coming to a cinema near you?  Well, then, what.....???!!!

[britgirl]

[:$]  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNHSIge21LM&feature=fvst  [:$]

[woolybanana]

less of the 'old' from you, my girl!

I am mature, Normie is old!

[Kitty]

[quote user="sweet 17"]I seem to remember, Wools, that when I was a rookie on the Forum, I suggested that we all started looking out for a mate for you.  And Twinkle (God, where's that girl when you want her?) sent you a picture of Clarrisa Dickson Wright.

We know you'd like someone who can cook you nursery food like meat pies and deserts like Death by Banana and Banana Custard and so on and I thought she'd be ideal.  In fact, I saw her being interviewed by Fern Britton last Sunday and, now that she's sobered up, she sounds an eminently sensible and interesting woman.

I think I mentioned that she'd keep you cosy and warm between the sheets by night and keep you fed and happy by day.  Would you like her contact details?[/quote]

Clarissa is a LOVELY lady.  I have it on good authority.  A fellow wasp allergy sufferer of mine was airlifted to hospital by air ambulance after being stung by a wasp at an agricultural show, when C D-W was speaking  Clarissa took the time and trouble to write and find out how the patient had fared.

Her good manners and her caring attitude are unquestionable.

[NormanH]

I believe there is a sort of mating market held in the Lozère near Marvejols.

I will try to get you details, but I think you'd be against stiff competition.

Let me know if you are up for it and I will find out more..

[woolybanana]

You mean farmer's wives in stalls with halters and tabards?