The perhaps-not-so-grim reaper.

[YCCMB]

So, one of my best friends in France is quite poorly and having her third spell in hospital in almost as many weeks. After pneumonia, she's been diagnosed with COPD and may have other underlying health problems.

I've visited a couple of times this week, and been totally blown away by her completely un-self-pitying, objective attitude to death. She has everything planned (cardboard coffin or a bin bag - if she can manage to die at a time appropriate to the recycling collection) and has basically decided that if she has a life-curtailing illness she's not interested in any cure or intervention that might involve giving up her independence or having any aspect of her life managed by a third party. Having lived all her life on her terms, she's now planning to die on her terms.

Somehow, her matter-of-fact approach, the fact that she's slowly getting all her close friends and family to visit so she can explain her plans, and her complete and absolute lack of self pity is uplifting. I'm not convinced she's quite at death's door, but I've been left in awe by her pragmatic attitude and the way she's at pains to ensure that nobody in her circle of friends or family will feel sorry for her or be left thinking they could have "done more"

It's been a very humbling experience.

[Patf]

Poor woman to be so ill, but as you say, a pragmatic attitude.

I'm probably older than anyone on here, and have a similar attitude to death now.  With reservations.

As Woody Allen said "I'm not afraid to die - I just don't want to be there when it happens."

[mint]

A really timely post, Betty, and thank you.

I, too, have had reason lately to think of Death and all that that entails.  I can understand totally why people bow to the inevitable, but not in a self-pitying way.

I may just perhaps wait to see if euthanasia might be enshrined in French law[:D]

[Gardengirl]

Some people are amazing.

My dear SIL had the same attitude, through bowel cancer, lung cancer and finally brain cancer. She returned to her daily 06.30 drive to the local town pool swimming many lengths once her op for bowel cancer was OK.

She remained absolutely herself through all the chemo and finally cyber knife treatment, planned her funeral and wake down to the last detail.

It’s very humbling to know people like your friend and my SIL.

[mint]

Humbling, yes, and fills you with utter admiration.

[YCCMB]

Coincidentally, there was a forensic psychologist on TV a few days back and although I wasn't paying close attention to her interview, the one thing I did hear her say which resonated with me under the circs, was "You only die once, so you'd want to have the best death you possibly can" . I'm definitely going to try and remember that.

[Loiseau]

Much food for thought and resolve there, Betty, thank you.

We had a friend many years ago who was diagnosed with cancer, and when someone said to him "You must wonder 'Why me?’", his attitude was "Well, why NOT me?"

[Noisette]

[quote user="You can call me Betty"]Coincidentally, there was a forensic psychologist on TV a few days back and although I wasn't paying close attention to her interview, the one thing I did hear her say which resonated with me under the circs, was "You only die once, so you'd want to have the best death you possibly can" ..[/quote] That'll get the reincarnation fans going!

[mint]

Nah, that one's dead in the water....surely?[:P]

[YCCMB]

https://youtu.be/nOWR2LPZ-TI