Onan

[NormanH]

It  would seem that Boris Johnson  might have understood my Dryden pastiche [:P]

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/nov/13/boris-johnson-drops-word-onanism-from-speech-after-criticism

Onan

One

day the cult of Brexit gripped the land.

In

the first rank of these did Onan stand.

Puerile

pranks his emptiness betray

Shallow

ambition clearer by the day.

By

night a vision clearer still expressed:

A jester’s face, a

reptile all the rest.

See

Onan wriggle --“What? That phoney Brit,

Onan,

albino turd of ass’s shit ?

Serial

philanderer; liar ; fake buffoon

Peoples’

champion– born with a silver spoon!

No

shame, and no disgrace can Onan feel

At

seeking consummation in No Deal.

Yet

let me crush this bug with rumpled hair.

Spoiled

child of privilege; whose only care

His

Fame and popularity and power.

Swears

anything; then changes in an hour.

Inconstant,

churlish; always in the wrong;

All

things to all, but not for very long.

Whether

in florid impotence he speaks,

And, as his prompter breathes,

the puppet squeaks;

Or paid to write a Column for a rabid

Rag--

Half-froth, half-venom, using it to brag

In puns,

or politics, or tales, or lies,

Or spite, or smears or rhymes,

or calumnies.

Invented

falsehoods are his usual themes

And

usually (to show his judgement) in extremes.

Contemptuous

of Truth, first writing that then this,

And

he himself one vile antithesis.

A

preening rogue pretending to be Hulk--

Incredibly

he flounces off to Sulk.

Outside

he sees himself as Hercules ,

But

Inside he is trembling at the knees

As

well-bred puppies obsequiously delight

In

menacing grown men they dare not bite.

Coward,

bully, scoundrel and disloyal ;

A

strutting moral bankrupt and a fool.

[woolybanana]

Norman, you missed your calling.

Why not send this to Private Eye or The Oldie?

[Gardian]

Beautiful.

[woolybanana]

Come now Gardian, clever he may be but beautiful Norman ain’t!

[nomoss]

Here's an Onan machine!

[url=https://postimages.org/][img]https://i.postimg.cc/vZ1Zqmhh/ONAN.jpg[/img][/url]

[Loiseau]

Amazing, Norman! ?

[Mr Huge]

Pope, I think, Norman. About Lord Hervey.

[NormanH]

Close...a pastiche of  Pope (Sporus as you spotted) but also Zimri from Dryden's Absalom and Achitophel

I combined elements from both...

[nomoss]

My Onan machine is self-starting and provides almost unlimited stimulation on demand[:-))]