Dinner invitation: to go or not to go

[anotherbanana]

I have been invited to dinner by some old friends whom I havent seen for a while. But they have just emailed me to say that two of the other guests who are from the other side of the world and have just come up from Spain have not been vaccinated (not sure if they are anti-vaccers but I suspect they might be).

Given that I am old and at high risk though jabbed, my inclination is to cry off. When travelling the London Tube a couple of weeks ago I was very ill at ease especially as some folk were unmasked. Apart from that one occasion my partner and I have been very careful.

Any thoughts?

[cajal]

[quote user="anotherbanana"] ........two of the other guests who are from the other side of the world and have just come up from Spain have not been vaccinated 

Given that I am old and at high risk though jabbed, my inclination is to cry off. Any thoughts?[/quote]

Yes. Do you not think that you have answered your own question?

[anotherbanana]

Perhaps, cajal, but I wondered what other folk thought.

[Gardian]

Yes, don’t go.

It’s a pity, because you won’t see your old friends. But it was considerate of them to let you know & your reply will doubtless reflect that.

I’m a bit surprised about these non-vaccinated people though. From the other side of the world and able to travel? Maybe I’m unfamiliar with the rules.

[NormanH]

I share your surprise but a family I know well have just come back from Romania after a 6 week stay including a marriage where there were a lot of people and none of them are vaccinated, yet had no problem coming back by car through various borders.

[Gardian]

Well Norman, I took WB’s thread to mean that these people had come from another continent and therefore almost certainly by air.

I then rather assumed that flights are ‘no-go’ for the unvaccinated, but I was wrong. Having looked at BA’s site, that’s clearly not the case.

Anyway ...........it would be a pity to lose such a promising Moderator and at such a tender age.

[Théière]

You might get ill but unlikely to die after two shots. That would boost your immunity going forward if you do come into contact with an infected person. Ask everyone who is attending to take an antigen test first. Thats what we did last party and we have all been cautious.

Party on!

It will be better than a 3rd jab as natural immunity trumps any of the vaccines.

[Gardian]

That’s a very positive post from Teapot.

I guess that as an invitee, it’s not for you to insist on an Antigen test for other guests. Absolutely not.

Difficult though .......

[Catalpa]

Our acceptance of invitations depends on how careful we think the hosts / other guests are - one person's perception of 'we hardly see anyone' is not someone else's analysis of their socialising - and whether the meal / gathering will be inside or out of doors.

If

the meal is to be outside and you can rely on people to keep out of

your personal space, as I'm double vaxxed (2nd in June) I would consider

seeing them. It seems that there's little risk of infection from

surfaces - plates, glasses or the food itself.

I

would not (and don't) spend time with a group of people inside - whether

they're vaccinated or not. 31st August delivered nearly 20,000 new

cases in FR and there's more asymptomatic people and less testing nowadays.

Infection reinforcing immune response is great if it works but this disease is unpredictable with

no guarantees as to its effect on even a double vaxxed person. Yes, I'm now unlikely to die if I get it but I don't

know how ill I'll be, how well I'll

recover, or if I might develop long Covid. I continue to be of the

opinion that I should do my best to avoid it.

[Théière]

20,000 in a country 5x the size of the UK which currently recorded 38,000 cases yet we are getting out and about a bit more with a few ( like me) taking reasonable precautions. Who would mind taking a test prior to meeting? We agreed to it because it was a very reasonable precaution. No harm in asking.

[mint]

[quote user="Catalpa"]

Our acceptance of invitations depends on how careful we think the hosts / other guests are - one person's perception of 'we hardly see anyone' is not someone else's analysis of their socialising - and whether the meal / gathering will be inside or out of doors.

If

the meal is to be outside and you can rely on people to keep out of

your personal space, as I'm double vaxxed (2nd in June) I would consider

seeing them. It seems that there's little risk of infection from

surfaces - plates, glasses or the food itself.

I

would not (and don't) spend time with a group of people inside - whether

they're vaccinated or not. 31st August delivered nearly 20,000 new

cases in FR and there's more asymptomatic people and less testing nowadays.

Infection reinforcing immune response is great if it works but this disease is unpredictable with

no guarantees as to its effect on even a double vaxxed person. Yes, I'm now unlikely to die if I get it but I don't

know how ill I'll be, how well I'll

recover, or if I might develop long Covid. I continue to be of the

opinion that I should do my best to avoid it.[/quote]

Catalpa's post most closely responds to my own thinking.

I have a scenario which has similar aspects to yours but, of course, not entirely.  Where I live, in the summer, there are always a number of different walks called dinatoire or gourmande.  You walk and stop at various stages for l'apéro, l'entrée, le plat, le dessert, etc.  I always took great delight in doing these with 3 French neighbours and friends (used to be 4 but one of us died).  For the first time this year, there is to be one of these in a nearby village and, when I was asked, I immediately said yes, without any thought.

This morning, I have rung up to say I wouldn't be going after all.  Despite, everything being in the open air (an important distinction, as Catalpa has pointed out), I feel I have no control or indeed knowledge of who will be there.  There will be many people that I would know and would really love to see.  But, on reflection, I do not think that I want to unnecessarily expose myself to risk.

In your position, Wooly, I would say a polite but emphatic "no".

Edit:  forgot to say that it's the eating and drinking that could contain the hidden danger.  When people eat and drink together, they enjoy themselves and tend to talk and laugh and forget some of the gestes barrièrs etc.

[Lori]

My views are similar to Catalpa's. 

I would decline the invitation Wooly.  I have no interest in being in close contact with un-vaccinated people (indoors or outdoors).  I have enough anxiety just going in a supermarket.

It was nice of the host to be honest with you.

[Théière]

Mint just ask the group to take a test.

Outdoors is minimal risk especially if you maintain sensible distance. We have to learn to live with this, its endemic in the population, or you could see out the rest of your days indoors seeing no one.

[anotherbanana]

Happy to say that the situation has been resolved; the non-vaccers have withdrawn from the dinner party, much to our hosts relief as it transpires.

Thanks for your input folks, much appreciated.

[Théière]

Couldn't the un vaccinated have taken a test to put others minds at rest? Still free if you are not travelling?

[anotherbanana]

There are other solutions, I am sure Teapot but this is just one that works, or we hope it does.

[cowolter]

Your health risk is low because you're vaccinated. So go meet your old friends, enjoy the food and music.

Or send a gift and a card and be done with it. That is not an unreasonable expectation from guests given their dinner is taking place during a pandemic.  
 

[anotherbanana]

Thanks cowalter; the unvaccinated rogue kept away so problem disappeared. His parents were furious as they are both in mid to late ‘80s and one has had cancer, so damaged immune system and very high risk.