Dick Smith Posted August 29, 2004 Share Posted August 29, 2004 As noted elsewhere, the auto-censor has asterisked out ****tail and M****illes, which seems a bit strong. I presume that there are changes which can be made to make sure that only whole cuss-words are asterisked as in **** and ****** and *** ***** **** so that we can then use words such as ******** (in the plumbing sections of course) and ****nal (whenever we're winding Miki up)(and also possibly that other club up North).Failing that, can we have a separate section for the puerile pleasure of provoking asterisks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Dick,We haven't found the answer yet, so please feel free to provoke asterisks to your heart's content. The old forum filtered out the name of a British builder in France who had a reputation for dodgy practices - this one seems to not be so fussy. Yet strangely enough that other football club S********e United seems OK. Perhaps you'll have to write things like Ars-enal, Mars Eille, b-all,coc-ks etc. Those users who sell poultry may have difficulties when talkiing about male chickens here.(test - ignore if you are easily offended): Scunthorpe nipples (plumbing of course) William the ******* (Bar starred)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted August 30, 2004 Author Share Posted August 30, 2004 Oh bugger.Well, that's a bit odd. Or that sod d? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miki Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 .........and ****nal (whenever we're winding Miki up) You can all wind me up, as long as ****nal is spelt with all those funny things in the name. It looks almost like Urinal, and that's not taking the pee either, or perhaps it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted August 30, 2004 Author Share Posted August 30, 2004 Like the old joke - what are the three football league clubs with swearwords in their names?(If you don't know you'll have to email me because it'll never get past the moderators). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Trollope Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 It appears that we can bugger whosoever we please, which is illegal. But we can't **** them, which isn't.The obvious benefit of the "preview" function is that you can write huge lists of words and see what is allowed, without actually posting:-Elephant, masturbation, conjoin, oh what the ****! I have lost my "co****r French Dictionary" (or should that be dicksionary) Oops, of course the post button is next to the preview button & the graphics are so awful..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex Forum Admin Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I'm looking into this to try and have only whole words banned, not parts of words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Elephant? What are you trying to tell us, Nick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Trollope Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 [quote]Elephant? What are you trying to tell us, Nick?[/quote]Well.... Truth of the matter is that I don't know any rude words. I was just trying to be big. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Ah, bless.I can think of several rude things about elephants that I saw in a TV documentary a while back. Well, one rude thing in particular. Huge it was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teamedup Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Wondering if we could swear or be rude in french. Not that I know any words like that ofcourse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted September 3, 2004 Author Share Posted September 3, 2004 Apparently the only word in which my accent is impeccable is 'crétin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill<br><br>Jill (99) Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 I was talking to some friends a few months ago, and one of them was amused about the fact I'd spent a holiday in Al's Ass. I said we had been to Titisee the previous year and were thinking of going to Condom for our next holiday! (But we changed our minds). She thought it was hilarious. Are there any other interesting places we should be going to - apart from M **** illes, of course! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Jill, there's rather a long list here http://www.i-r-genius.com/rudeplaces.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantouflard Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 'It appears that we can bugger whosoever we please, which is illegal'.Is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaligoBay Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 It depends where you are:The legal age of consent for anal sex between a man and a woman in England and Wales is 18 years. In Scotland, it is 16 years. In Northern Ireland, it is illegal; The legal age of consent for anal sex between two men in the UK is 18 years, provided both men consent. A lower age of consent is currently being considered in Parliament; How many asterisks, I wonder? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Strangely enough it has never been illegal under France's Napoleonic law - it's legal in most other countries now, including UK (Northern Ireland was the last UK country to legalise sodomy) though oddly enough it was only last year that it became legal throughout the USA. Not that I know anything about it of course - as an old acquaintance used to say, 'If I want to push manure uphill, I use a wheelbarrow, not my ****' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Nothing to do with France, but this topic reminded me of a song I knew long ago - what will the asterisk generator make of it?Through the processes of evolutionfrom anthropoid ape down to manit's been generally held that the Navy has buggered whatever it can but in recent intensive researchesby Darwin and Huxley and Hall it's been proved without doubt that the hedgehog has never been buggered at all. We therefore believe our conclusionis incontrovertibly shown that relative safety on shipboard is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone So why haven't they done it at Portsmouthas they've done it at Harvard & Yale and also at Oxford and Cambridgeby shaving the spines off its tail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 [quote]Apparently the only word in which my accent is impeccable is 'crétin'.[/quote]Dick - did you know that the word 'cretin' comes from the French 'chrétien'? Apparently Christians were seen in former times as mindless, simple folk, gullible and easily led... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teejay Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 [quote]Dick, We haven't found the answer yet, so please feel free to provoke asterisks to your heart's content. The old forum filtered out the name of a British builder in France who had a reputation for do...[/quote]All this reminds me of the Irish racehorse called Wear The Fox Hat (caused some embarrassment to unwary commentators).Best wishes,T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miki Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 [quote]All this reminds me of the Irish racehorse called Wear The Fox Hat (caused some embarrassment to unwary commentators).Best wishes,T[/quote]Teejay,It was a rather famous joke, told about Charlie Boy. These are just 2 shortened versions, I have heard it from after dinner speakers in a much longer version and in many guises.Not sure about it being a name for a race horse and although I love the sport, I don't know all their names !! So nothing would surprise me but that might have been spotted by the powers that be, when the name was first entered Charlies Duties 1. Prince charles is opening a paint factory in Middlesborough. When he gets out of the royal limo, the man that has the job of greeting him nearly burst out laughing, prince charles was wearing a suit and a trappers hat complete with tail. After about an hour the man could hold his tongue no longer and asked the prince, "Your highness I'm not being rude but why are you wearing a fur hat in June?" Prince charles replied "Actually it was mummys idea, this morning she said Charles what are your duties for today? I said I'm opening a paint factory in Middlesborough, and mummy said Middlesborough wear the fox hat??"2. Prince Charles was invited to Cammell Lairds, Birkenhead, by everybody's favorite Ref, Toddy Wood. Toddy walked Prince Charles around the pitch and showed him all the good works that had been completed over the years, and explained the future plans for the club. On his walkabout, Toddy couldn't help noticing that Prince Charles was wearing a foxes hat, presumably to keep out the cold winters chill blowing across the Mersey. Toddy exclaimed to the Heir apparent "Err, sorry to have to ask Charlie lad, but err, what's with the 'at". Prince Charles looked at Toddy and started to give an overview of breakfast with his mummy. Well, he said, whilst eating ones corn flakes this morning, mummy asked where I was going today. I rather excitedly told her I was off to see "Toddy" in Birkenhead, and would return to Buckingham Palace for an evening meal. Birkenhead she retorted, WEAR THE FOX HAT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted September 12, 2004 Author Share Posted September 12, 2004 Will - is your hedgehog song the one sung (to the annoyance of Esmee Weatherwax) by Nanny Ogg when inebriated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 Dick - sorry, I had to look up Nanny Ogg and Esme whatsherface and found they are characters in a series of books that I have never read. A bit more research found that Nanny Ogg's hedgehog song is somewhat different, though the basic principle, that sodomy with hedgehogs is impossible, still applies. The one I know is sung to the tune of the 'Eton Boating Song', and the better-known first verse goes:The sexual urge of the camelIs greater than anyone thinksAt the height of the mating seasonHe gets up and buggers the sphinx.Now the sphinx's posterior passageIs blocked by the sands of the NileWhich accounts for the hump on the camelAnd the sphinx's inscrutable smile.Chorus: For we're all queers together,That's why we go around in pairs,For we're all queers together,Now excuse us while we go upstairs.No, this is nothing to do with France, or auto-censorship, and I'm not going to tell you why I know that song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Trollope Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 [quote]It depends where you are: The legal age of consent for anal sex between a man and a woman in England and Wales is 18 years. In Scotland, it is 16 years. In Northern Ireland, it is illegal; ...[/quote]Did you look that up, or did you already know? If so, why?Actually, I think I'd rather not know..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 seeing as the cats away and the mice are at play and you lot are intent on trying to shock...When hubby and I lived in Turkey for a while we knew a native who lived on an island and he told us that during the winter and the weather was too rough to get to the mainland,to satify his manly needs he used to put a picture of his favorite lady(who lived on the mainland) on the back of his donkey and er well um you know....:blush though it could have been an assAparantly one could do all sorts with a chicken as well!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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