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Burial - a sombre topic


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I intend to spend the rest of my life in France, but what happens when I die?  Do I have a right to be buried in the local cemetary?

Two years ago a german friend of mine died here in France. She had lived here for 15 years, was well respected, and had worked locally looking after old people in the village.  When she died special permission was needed for her to have a non religious ceremony and to be buried in the local cemetary which is running out of space.

Does anyone know what rights, if any, people have to be buried where they like in France?

 

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Funerals don't have to be sombre affairs anyway!

Why not jazz it up and make it a celebration of the persons life instead? Have a theme perhaps like 70's disco or 50's rock and roll or something the departed had an interest in! Forget about wooden boxes, black limos and black suits and go in fancy dress!

Get yourself cremated! it is more eco friendly and saves on the hassle of all this burial nonsense as you can scatter your ashes pretty much where you like (if you don't get seen!) I am being put under a David Austin Reaubritter Rose in my Garden in France.

I will be brought to the Church and Crematorium in a Motorhome, and When I hit the old oven it will be in a big bread basket with Paddy McGinty's goat playing me out.

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I go on average to about 3-4 per year here and unfortunately if you have a funeral service in a catholic church even if you are protestant, a certain percentage of the ceremony has to be from the catholic mass books. I helped a bereaved non-french speaking english lady here a year ago and the curé and I came to a compromise whereby we had none of the accompanying singing/chanting except for the catholic part, but taped music and then the "Nearer my God to Thee" from the Titantic film at the end with lots of personal tributes which isn't the usual either. As regards a plot or caveaux,this is at the discretion of the local mairie but I find non-catholics here tend to go for the cremation and have a name inscribed in the Colombarium sector of the cemetary and you don't even need to go to the crematorium after the service if you don't want to.Watch out for the cost of caskets, they cost a fortune and in our house,we all agree a paper one would be much better although it had better be strong to carry us comfortably.
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[quote]Funerals don't have to be sombre affairs anyway! Why not jazz it up and make it a celebration of the persons life instead? Have a theme perhaps like 70's disco or 50's rock and roll or something the ...[/quote]

"Get yourself cremated! it is more eco friendly and saves on the hassle of all this burial nonsense"

Wrong I'm afraid - recent research reveals that cremation results in the release of seriously worrying amounts of greenhouse gases. Additionally crematoria are having to modify their exhaust systems to counter the emission of mercury - which has led to some alarm amongst their neighbours.

However I haven't seen any sign of green or woodland burials becoming popular in France? Has anyone else?
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I can just imagine if they did it here, the whole flipping place would be covered in those awful tacky porcelain or plastic funeral ornaments along with plastic flowers and photos too so it would always be a cemetary like the municipal ones. I could never ever imagine the catholic french,who suddenly become very religious at funerals,weddings and communions and anti-church the rest of the time changing their ways,its inherited with each generation. At the latest funeral two weeks ago, all the oldies there lined up to inspect the caveaux to make sure the residents already in there were nice and dry and "doing well", the rest of us kept our distance as the last time I was asked to look,I couldn't forget what I had seen for a very long time and my son had a nightmare.
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I have no advice other than to follow my idea to live forever or die in the attempt.

I hate funeral companies they charge a fortune and are not personal.

Should I fail in my attempt to live forever I have told my brothers they must build a coffin out of old pallets, they must dig the grave too.

My father is a church warden and has bought all the family plots in his local church - country village plots being at a premium.

Did anyone see in the newspapers last week a funeral director committed suicide and had prepared his own coffin made out of a wardrobe decorated with the only useful flowers - cauliflowers!
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I am afraid I don't have a serious answer to the question either but, on the lighter side, some English acquantances living locally for many years told a neighbour that they had booked a double plot in the village cemetry. The neighbour thought that was terrible, not good value for money and people were not treated very well. She had misheard them and thought they had booked a double room in the old people's home.

I know that they have funeral plans here for which you pay in advance. I think if I really wanted to explore the question I would make enquiries of a local company. Not an easy subject to deal with but I am truly grateful to my dear Dad for having made his own arrangements last year.

Liz (29)
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On a more serious note - deaths must be registered with the marie within 24 hours (if they are closed or it is a weekend you still need to let them know. Funerals happen very quickly in France and 48 hours after death is not uncommon. You need to make your wishes known beforehand otherwise it will be done for you. You can 'rent' a burial plot for 15 years. When this happens they usually place rubble/stones over the body with a layer of top soil. After 15 years another person can be buried in the grave. If you want the grave for longer you will have to pay. Headstones cost less than in the UK but coffins are very expensive. refrigerated lorries are frequently used to transport the body. this can be a little unerving if you are not expecting it. With cremations it is usual to see the coffin actually go into the furnis especially in rural areas. Forget the discreet little red curtain that automatically pulls in front of the coffin after the service. This can also be a shock if you are not expecting it. For those people who have left family behind in England - spare a thought for them when they have to sort things out on your behalf. Put all your paperwork and insurance in a safe place but where it can easily be found. The Marie will have a list of registered undertakers and will provide all information you need. Sombre topic or not I hope this helps.
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Well you are right Dick, I had sort of wanted a serious reply....nut I have enjoyed reading the comments.  I do not intend to go out quietly and do want a non religious funeral.  My friend's funeral was great, we are in a tiny village, her casket was wheeled down the hill by locals on a special trolley, her dad played clarinet, everyone said something about our friend and the most heart wrenching bit was when a good friend sang Amazing Grace.

Incidentally the 'Dead Good Funeral Book' has some very interesting non religious funerals and a papier mache eccological casket can be bought.  I have my eye on a purple one with whisy doves on it.......they are advertised in Permaculture Magazine Earth Repair catalogue and CAT Centre For Alternative Technology.

My real reason for writing this posting was to see if anyone knew if one could be turned away from a French cemetery or not.

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Ha, sorry about the typo 'nut', not a comment to you Dick or a reference to my state of mind - although some may argue.

 

And Furryknickers, the cat in the picture is one that I had to rehome last year for a friend, she was sweet, no idea about the parentage.  Incedentally they four were rehomed successfully with the help of people who read this Forum.

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You have to be a bit careful - I went to a funeral a few years ago where the man's wife (he was only in his 40s) had brought the coffin home for the children to decorate. They went along with her wishes, but it absolutely crucified them. They wanted old-fashioned and dignified for their dad...

I've put together some 'requests' for music at mine - pity I won't be there to hear them!
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