Bloo Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 A man from our road, who we have never met (other than the courteous bonjour on passing) called by today and handed us a wedding invitation to his daughters wedding - both mass and 'reception'.Is this a normal gesture in France, is it the done thing to attend and what on earth does one do about wedding presents?!Any advice would be appreciated as we do not want to offend by not doing the right thing. We would obviously be delighted to attend for the experience.Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Perhaps he has invited everyone else in the road and has agonised over whether or not to include "les anglais" who he doesn't really know. I would accept.It is important to know exactly which parts of the wedding ceremony(ies) you are being invited to - usually spelt out pretty clearly on the invitation. You are clearly invited to the church service, probably they will already have had the civil service (often the day before? - someone will correct me here I'm sure!) and then the "reception" may be only a sort of free-for-all drink in a big hall or at someone's house. There is usually a long dinner later for the close friends and family and I would imagine you are not invited to that. I think I would accept one drink, possibly a refill, but then go - watch everyone else and as soon as people start to leave, follow them.What to wear - for men I would suggest a light jacket and open-necked shirt, but have tie in pocket just in case???) In warm weather its easy for women, light and floaty looks either dressy or casual depending on the jewellery you wear or perhaps a dressy shawl. You can always adjust your accessories between the church and the drinks.Regarding the present, I should ask whether there is a liste de mariage (where all the goods are usually on sale at one or two specified shops), and if so, choose something modest from it. Otherwise, just buy the sort of thing you would in England - nice set of table mats? Glasses? Napkin rings or tablecloth weights?That's it, I've run out now. I'll sit back and see what others think.Chrissie (81) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Chrissie sounds as though she has got it right and you are invited to the 'vin d'honneur' which is usually before or after the big meal. Get in practice if you are invited to the actual reception as these things can go on all night. Best practice I would have thought is to say to someone else locally how thrilled you are to be invited and can they fill you in on the local protocol. This always seems to work as most people like describing their local customs.On the present front, at a couple of weddings I have been to there is a box for people to put cards in with money/cheques so that the bride and groom can chose something for themselves. An actual present is always OK and can be something quite small. From 'les anglais' popular things are a teapot (yes they really do like to boast that they were give one by English friends) or English style place mats - if you can get some from UKin time. French friends and customers eating at our house always comment on them - different from the sets de table found here - and a couple of friends have asked me to get them some from UK.Have a great time. Maggi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloo Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 Thanks Chrissie for your reply. Our thoughts are pretty much the same as yours. We just need to make sure we do the 'done thing'!We have been invited to 'partager leur joie au cours de la messe' and 'à un vin d'honneur' in a local hall, so pretty much as you say.We shall go along and hovver quietly at the back! So, when we've chosen a suitable present, at what point do we give it to somebody? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 If you go the "liste de mariage" route, the shop will give you a little card to sign and then take it back, and it will all be done automatically. I understand that "real" presents should really, as in UK, be given to the bride before the wedding, but have seen them being handed over at the vin d'honneur and just stacked at one side, so make sure that it's clearly labelled!Chrissie (81) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie15 Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 When we went to the vin d'honneur there was a table to put the presents on, so we just popped ours on there. We went for a large silverplate photo frame,bought in UK that come in velvet lined boxes- they look good but don't cost the earth , and are always useful somewhere!![;-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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