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after a death


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A close neighbour died on Friday after a rapid deterioration from bowel cancer. Very sad, he was 65, a very friendly man, we often stopped for a chat when walking the dogs.

The funeral was fixed for yesterday, but over the weekend the widow had crowds of visitors. I called in briefly and she seemed to be singlehandedly making coffee for everyone. Not sure if the body was in the front room. She was exhausted, poor woman. They had no children.

There were a few hundreds at the funeral.

I was wondering if this visiting of the family before the funeral was a common custom. Other times there has been a death in the village the family accept condolences after the funeral.

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I have no idea if what you describe is customary after a death in France. But the thought of the widow running around making coffee for everyone really  does make me cringe. It must do wonders for the grieving process....[:(]

Surely, even if there was no family, there should have been someone else, either friends or neighbours, to take on that role?

Or perhaps it is an extension of the tradition, when going to a French home, of having everything done for you by the hostess. In some homes, it is sacrilegious if as a guest you do anything for yourself.

So that poor woman, maybe she would have felt she was letting the side down, and being a "bad hostess" by letting someone else do "her work"???. If it is, then that's quite barbaric.[:'(]

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