Speaking of diets

[PossumGirl]

I got this this morning and thought you'd all enjoy it:

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog  chow and was in line to

check out.  A woman behind me asked if I  had a dog........Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse,  I told her no, I was starting the

Purina Diet again, although I  probably shouldn't because I ended up in the

hospital last time,  but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an

intensive  care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's

in both

arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on  with the bogus diet story

and she was totally buying it.

I told her  that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works

is to  load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat  one or

two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food  is nutritionally

complete so I was going to try

it again.

I have  to mention here that practically everyone in the line was  by now

enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind  her.  Horrified,

she

asked if something in the dog food had  poisoned me and was that why I ended

up

in the hospital.  I  said no.....I'd been sitting in the street  licking my

butt when  a car  hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have  to be carried out the door.

[Dick Smith]

Funny.

True (allegedly) story - many years ago some friends of mine with a couple of kids were approached by her sister, who was trying for a baby but having no luck, to find out if sexual position had an effect on conception. Slightly embarrassed my friend made a reference to Nuttal's Mintos (which I'm sure you will remember were advertised as 'original and best') - an in-joke for the missionary position.

A couple of months later they visited and found a large bag of Mintos.

In the bathroom...