Parents Will

[cooperlola]

[quote user="NickP"]

Would be rather good to hear the other side of this storey from Mr Brown's sister. [/quote]Yup. 

Btw, I have two horses and a horse trailer and can't walk without two sticks.  I'm not sure what that proves about either of us, Ms B or me. 

[John Brown]

I know what happened to you Coop's and it was terrible. I've followed your recovery with admiration for your spirit

My sister claims IB and claims she cannot walk more than a few steps.

I'm not sure how she manages to muck the horses out and ride them.

I've tried hitching up a horsebox up to a jeep and its not that easy.

I've tried to explain how I feel about the whole situation by filling in the dots. Maybe its backfired on me.

We've all experienced this on the forum, I think !

[Russethouse]

Perhaps the three of you should write off the house and let your sister have it, but divide the cash between the three of you.?

[Frederick]

[quote user="John Brown"]My dilemma is my father has asked in his Will that my sister be allowed to live in his house in the UK and pay rent to me and my two other sisters

The cash is to be split four ways

Do I trust my sister to carry on paying rent ? ( she's single and on benefit ) No

Whats the best way forward

[/quote]

 How many years has he been living in his house with his daughter and grandson ?

I take it that they look after him . Cook clean wash his clothes etc and have been for some years his sole carer.  Perhaps tasks  that  you or any of  your other sisters have not had to undertake .?  It seems you  are all  living your lives in your own homes  with your families while he is conveniantly  being  taken care of by his daughter and her son .

He quite rightly does not want to see them lose their home immediatly after his death as he probably  suspects thats what  will likely be the outcome . If I was him and I read what you have put on here I would be seeing a solicitor tomorrow and get their protection well and truly fixed  .

[Russethouse]

Frederick - you may be right, but I can't see where it says she is living with him now..which would put a different light on it -

[Frederick]

 You are right RH .... it certainly would

[John Brown]

This is getting silly.

I never said she lived with my father. She left home at 18 and got married and had 3 kids. They lived about 50 miles away

She never returned to live with our parents, was never a carer, is not a carer and does not help him.

She divorced 5 years ago.

It would be difficult being a carer if you can't walk more than a few steps

[Frederick]

OK  she is not at risk of  losing the roof over her head when your father dies ....... So it seems  sell and split would be the answer .

[Gemonimo]

If your dad's in good health, to whom his house and money go may well be academic if he has to go into residential care. My mother has been in care for two years and has paid over £75,000 for her care.  She has dementia but is fighting fit and over 90. See a solicitor and get good advice.

[John Brown]

We hope that my Dad will come to live with us, when he feels the times right. For now France is not for him.

While he can look after himself and get about, he's happiest

Thanks for all the good advice.

Pity about the Forum Baiting or was it the red wine talking !

Cheers John

[cooperlola]

Ultimately it's none of our business really, JB!

For the record though there's nowt so queer as horsey folk.  My mother is always on at me to "get rid" of my horses but nothing would make me, no matter how crippled and poor I was.  The older one will die - or be put down - in my care and under my supervision and the younger one (with whom I have less afinity) I believe I am obliged to ensure a continued happy life for and a humane death, even if not necessarily with me.

[Russethouse]

I agree with Coops, in the end your father will do what he thinks is right, but it seems to me, looking a bit harshly perhaps, that your sister knows how to look after herself pretty well and perhaps doesn't need preferential treatment.[;-)]

[NickP]

[quote user="John Brown"]Pity about the Forum Baiting or was it the red wine talking !

Cheers John

[/quote]

Well you just blew it with that comment pal, you come on here making totally unsubstantiated allegations of fraud against someone who can't defend themselves, and then accuse people who have a different view of life than you do of being baiters or worse. Your problem now is of course you are talking to people who can answer back. So maybe a few less snide comments and maybe people would listen and possibly agree with you, but I doubt it.

[Russethouse]

Nick, no one of us can see inside anothers family - I could wax lyrical (not) about my mother and her behavior but whats the point ?  However I can well imagine how JB feels - my mother has someone in her life that she pays to do a job, very often we end up doing the job again or properly, yet my mother is totally blinkered about this person they can do no wrong.

[Rabbie]

I have been following this thread with interest and would like to add my two cents worth.

It is your father's house and money and it is his right to leave it to whoever he likes if he lives in England. I believe his wishes should be respected.

[Gardian]

[quote user="NickP"]

Well you just blew it with that comment pal, you come on here making totally unsubstantiated allegations of fraud against someone who can't defend themselves, and then accuse people who have a different view of life than you do of being baiters or worse. Your problem now is of course you are talking to people who can answer back. So maybe a few less snide comments and maybe people would listen and possibly agree with you, but I doubt it.[/quote]

Hmmmm .........

More than a bit OTT, I'd say.

Someone comes on here and elicits advice over a difficult family situation. He's asking for advice, not judgement. None of us can understand the family 'dynamics' and its impertinent to try to do so. More helpful to confine ourselves to advice (good or bad) and leave out the judgement.

Oh and BTW, I don't recall the OP starting the snide comments (I've checked back). 

 

 

[Chancer]

[quote user="Rabbie"]

I have been following this thread with interest and would like to add my two cents worth.

It is your father's house and money and it is his right to leave it to whoever he likes if he lives in England. I believe his wishes should be respected.

[/quote]

Excellent posting!

My thoughts entirely, if only I were able to express them so succinctly.

I would add that if my parent asked me to be executor of their will (they are both dead so its hypothetical) and wanted 100% of the money to go to my sister who is like you describe yours, to their new partner even if they were an 18 year old gold digger or to some totally undeserving charity I would consider it my duty to do so and an honour to be trusted with the responsibility.

[NickP]

[quote user="Gardian"][quote user="NickP"]

Well you just blew it with that comment pal, you come on here making totally unsubstantiated allegations of fraud against someone who can't defend themselves, and then accuse people who have a different view of life than you do of being baiters or worse. Your problem now is of course you are talking to people who can answer back. So maybe a few less snide comments and maybe people would listen and possibly agree with you, but I doubt it.[/quote]

Hmmmm .........

More than a bit OTT, I'd say.

Someone comes on here and elicits advice over a difficult family situation. He's asking for advice, not judgement. None of us can understand the family 'dynamics' and its impertinent to try to do so. More helpful to confine ourselves to advice (good or bad) and leave out the judgement.

Oh and BTW, I don't recall the OP starting the snide comments (I've checked back). 

 

 

[/quote]

Check again my friend. "Pity about the Forum Baiting or was it the red wine talking" !  He got advice, but each time he got it, he increased the rant about his sister, he was expecting us to judge her. So in my opinion as the rant is one sided, I read between the lines that he only wants to hear that what he is doing is OK.

[Russethouse]

[quote user="Rabbie"]

I have been following this thread with interest and would like to add my two cents worth.

It is your father's house and money and it is his right to leave it to whoever he likes if he lives in England. I believe his wishes should be respected.

[/quote]

 Isn't the point that in trying to do the right thing the parent will leave 3 of the children in a very difficult situation ?

[Gardian]

[quote user="NickP"]Check again my friend. [/quote]

I've always had this strange antipathy towards people who refer to others as "pal" and "my friend", when they mean precisely the opposite.

I'll leave you to have the last word, because you'll undoubtedly want it.

[NickP]

[quote user="Gardian"][quote user="NickP"]Check again my friend. [/quote]

I've always had this strange antipathy towards people who refer to others as "pal" and "my friend", when they mean precisely the opposite.

I'll leave you to have the last word, because you'll undoubtedly want it.

[/quote]

Thanks for the apology. [Www] By the way spec savers are doing some good deals at the moment mate. [:P]

[John Brown]

Ironically I wasn't refering to you NickP

It was the comments of  that I " should be told to  FOAD" which I took to mean **** off and die

and the ramblings about my sister living with my dad and looking after him

I never questioned your comments.

I have not said anything here that I have not said face to face to my sister.

Lets leave it there.

P

[Rabbie]

[quote user="Russethouse"][quote user="Rabbie"]

I have been following this thread with interest and would like to add my two cents worth.

It is your father's house and money and it is his right to leave it to whoever he likes if he lives in England. I believe his wishes should be respected.

[/quote]

 Isn't the point that in trying to do the right thing the parent will leave 3 of the children in a very difficult situation ?

[/quote]RH, I stand by my belief that it is the father's right to leave his house and money as he wishes provided it complies with the law. 

If he lives in England his children have no automatic right of inheritance so he is not being unfair in leaving equal shares to each of his children. He knows his children better than any of us do so we have to trust his judgement as to how to leave his money and house.

 

 

[John Brown]

I agree with you completely, Rabbie and as Executor I will carry out his wishes to the letter.

Whether I agree or not is immaterial,

[AnOther]

[quote user="Rabbie"]It is your father's house and money and it is his right to leave it to whoever he likes if he lives in England. I believe his wishes should be respected.[/quote]

I completely agree but with the vital proviso that the full implications and ramifications of the fathers wishes - on all parties - are understood and considered.

It sounds to me that this may not be the case and some of the pitfalls have already been mentioned although I would expect a solicitor to point these out when preparing a will, hopefully the father would not be so irresponsible as to eschew such advice and compound the issue by writing his own. Would the potentially ensuing legal wrangles and disharmony really be part of his dying wishes ?