seperation and sale of house

[offshorerob]

Any help or advice please,

To cut a long story short me and my partner have just split we were together 17 years and have 4 kids together ages 16/10/9/3,we own a house 50/50,her parents have bought her a new house and she has moved there with all the kids.The house we co own is now my main residence. Question 1 can she force me to sell it,even if i pay her rent.Question 2 i pressume my 16 year old is no longer a minor so he can choose who he lives with,but my 10 and 9 year old want to live with us half and half i.e. a week on and a week off can they decide this,my 3 year old should obviously stay with brother and sister.

I know i will need a lawyer but just in the early stages of trying to get as much information as possible.

Thanks for any info.

[NormanH]

Are you both living in France, and what nationalities are involved?

[offshorerob]

Yes we are all live in france since 2006 we are both from Jersey UK,my youngest who is 3 was born in France my eldest 16 has Aspergers syndrome,the pressure on her was huge especially when setting up the business,something had to give unfortunately for me i was it.

[Clair]

Hi offshorerob,

You do need to seek professional advice, but you know that already [:)].

As you are using the term partner, I assume there is no marriage or PACS (see HERE - translation)

As you are joint owners of the property, you each retain a claim to it and if you cannot reach an agreement to either sell and divide the proceeds, or buy the other one out, you or your

partner can go to court and request a division of the property held in joint ownership.

This will almost invariably lead to a sale.

Also, you and your partner both have a right to live there (she may choose to return to the property and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it).

As an aside, your partner is no longer liable for the taxe d'habitation from Jan. 1st following her move out of the property.

Should the property be sold, there will be no capital gain tax on the proceeds for either party.

You might be interested in the notaire's costs: see HERE (translation) for a starting point.

Regarding where your children live; some answers HERE (translation). Note that if the parents cannot agree regarding the residence of the children, the matter will be decided by a judge. This may well be preferable in any case, to avoid conflict or disagreement between the parents at a later date.

As an aside, you might be interested in this page (translation).

As far as I remember, a child who resides with one parent will be asked for his "preference" when he/she reaches his/her 13th birthday.

Your 16-year-old is still a minor. The age of majority in France is 18.

[offshorerob]

Thanks Clair for the help given

No we are not married or pacs.I know my ex will only let me see the kids everyother weekend this to me and them is not enough as we have a strong bond together i have worked from home for many years,and it has come as a massive shock to them and me, not seeing eachother very much i know my 9/10 year old will want to see us 50/50.If it goes before a judge do they get a say in the matter?Obviously i want to avoid this but my ex has totally shut me out,even now on there holidays i thought the norm in france is a 50/50 split but she says i can have them on Tuesday till Thursday thats it she is arranging her own things with them getting ready to take full control.

On the house thing i know she will never want to move back here as said her parents have bought her a house,do you know legally if i have to pay her rent as i have paid for everything taxes bills her part of the mortgage over the years.The initial plan was for us all to move into her new house and rent our joint house out as a Gite,so at the moment it is by no means a home,but now i want to turn it into one for me and kids but will need to spend a fair bit of money to do so but this would be wasted if she hardly lets me see them.

Sorry for all this but you seem a nice person to ask

[Clair]

offshorerob, sorry to say nobody here will have the answers to your questions.

From your post, it looks like there isn't a lot of ground for agreement and although I can understand a reluctance to take things down the legal road as far as the children's lives are concerned, it seems it can only be to your advantage to do so.

At the moment, you have limited contact and no control, and whatever decision is made by the family judge can only match or improve that.

And once it is legally set, both parents have to abide by it.

It is my understanding that the younger children may be asked for their

opinion, but the judge's decision may not necessarily reflect it.

More info HERE (translation).

THIS is the form to request a legal decision and THIS is the notice to understand how to complete it (pdf files).

As far as the house is concerned, legally-speaking, your ex-partner is entitled to recover her property (this being her share of the value of the house). The fact that you are offering to pay rent on "her share" has no bearing here.

If you have made payments above your 50% share, I believe these will be set against her share (assuming you have receipts/bank statements, etc...)

[idun]

offshorerob, did you ask her to leave the family home? If not she had no right to just 'take' the kids and cannot 'just' leave France with them, without your permission. Having had a friend who split from her husband, she had to be very careful as to what she could do with regards to the kids. Still the question is then posed, are the kids registered as 'yours'? As this would not apply if that was the case.

You need legal advice pronto about this and copies of all the payments you made, if they were from a joint account it could prove difficult too.

 

[cooperlola]

Rob.  Tell your ex to e-mail me and I will explain the consequences of a mother trying to prevent her kids from seeing their father when they want to.  Whatever the law says it's a really bad idea, the consequences of which none of you will ever recover from.  My sister and I spent most of our childhood being manipulated by my mother in a vain attempt to line us up against our father.  Not sensible - and it didn't work.  Honestly, I can nver forgive her for the grief she gave me whenever I wanted to see my father when I was little.  What happened to my sister is not for open forum but it was not nice.  Don't let her do this - she may think it's a good idea but it isn't.  Of course it's important that their education is consistent but beyond that, having regular contact with two loving parents (who don't air their own grievances in front of the kids all the time) is the critical thing if both of you want the best for your offspring.  IMHO, of course.