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Christmas Cake Recipe

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour

* 1 stick butter

* 1 cup of water

* 1 tsp baking soda

* 1 cup of sugar

* 1 tsp salt

* 1 cup of brown sugar

* Lemon juice

* 4 large eggs

* Nuts

* 1 bottle wine

* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample

the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To

be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large

fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's

best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in

case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and

chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick

the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit

gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt.

Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your

nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you

can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to

fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl

through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.

Bingle Jells!

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated " - Mahatma Gandhi
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