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Oh, very probably!

I stopped visiting for a long time because I disliked some of the comments to my posts. I suppose we need to be more thick-skinned but I don't need the hassle at this time of life.

Over the years I've had very useful information and help, and some of the "old timers" (original members) are still on here and can be guaranteed to lift the depression.

See how you get on.

I see I'm classed as a Rookie now!  

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30 minutes ago, ssomon said:

Is the confrontational attitude in the responses of some/many members responsible for the waning popularity of this Forum?

Just wondering .................

 

Yes.

 

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58 minutes ago, ssomon said:

Is the confrontational attitude in the responses of some/many members responsible for the waning popularity of this Forum?

Just wondering .................

I've loitered around here for around twenty years, and it has always been the case that confrontation attracts all comers and rubber neckers, which translates into high viewing figures.

Your post proves the point. Given that the forum can appear like a morgue these days, your question has attracted 3 replies within an hour. ?

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Not only the attitude, but the continual returning  variants oh the same old France/Europe/Macron bashing theme.

This is supposed to be a Forum for FrancoPHILES, where we can share information gleaned from experience of our lives here, to help others.

 

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19 minutes ago, NormanH said:

Not only the attitude, but the continual returning  variants oh the same old France/Europe/Macron bashing theme.

This is supposed to be a Forum for FrancoPHILES, where we can share information gleaned from experience of our lives here, to help others.

 

If you had just watched F3 news like I do every night (local and national)....there was a lot of France/Europe/Macron bashing by the French.

Two worlds in France. Expat/immigrant France.....and the France that most have to live in. 

Just saying.

Anyone who lives in France/stands up for the values of France will bash the current state of France.

You can talk about swimming pools and setting up a gîte if you like. 

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46 minutes ago, NormanH said:

Not only the attitude, but the continual returning  variants oh the same old France/Europe/Macron bashing theme.

This is supposed to be a Forum for FrancoPHILES, where we can share information gleaned from experience of our lives here, to help others.

 

Yes, that seems to have disappeared.  I miss it.

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When I first joined the forum I enjoyed reading about other peoples experiences and received a lot of help when buying our house in Burgundy. There was a cameraderie amongst members and very little of the sniping that seems to take precedence nowadays. It is quite some time since I posted anything as I wouldn’t be able to cope with being shot down in flames. Sorry if that sounds too sensitive.

 I wouldn’t expect everyone to agree with my opinions and always react to constructive criticism but it is the impolite way things are dealt with now that puts me off contributing.

Most people want to help and share their experiences but won’t continue to do so in the present climate.

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13 hours ago, ssomon said:

Is the confrontational attitude in the responses of some/many members responsible for the waning popularity of this Forum?

Just wondering .................

 

Well, I may as well add my pennyworth!! Someone wrote on here  (can't remember who it was)  that certain people treat this forum  as if it were a private forum and only their comments were valid or worthy. I haven't been here for very long but I redilly agreed with that view. The smugness and self righteousness of some, particularly when their point is contested is nauseating. Often a snide and oblique criticism is the norm which often ends in an argument and complete breakdown of communication. 

There is hardly a huge diversity of interest here which would encourage more posts which is hardly surprising! Someone else has said they are not interested in 'confrontational' conversations. I would agree with that but simply disagreeing with someone shouldn't invite a 'snide' comment which is often the case. 

So, to finally to answer your question: To give a 'confrontational' response to a comment I would suggest is because the original comment was, in some way considered offensive, superior or condescending! Perhaps more thought to how something is written and how it is received rather than some conceited 'I am right attitude' is required! So, the answer is 'No'!

 

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OK I'll bite and I expect to be fully shot down in flames for this.

When I joined the forum it was at the height of the 'place in the sun'ers. A steady stream of bright eyed virgins who thought their ruin of a farmhouse could be renovated for a fiver and the two rooms they'd let in the summer would bring in enough income for them to spend the rest of the year sitting on the terrace drinking the local wine whilst watching the sunset. They would roundly criticize the old hands that would gently **** their bubble for being unduly negative. They didn't want to hear that France wasn't just populated with friendly bakers and onion sellers, that the schools weren't good or that there was high unemployment. For me, the value of this forum has always been the lack of those rose tinted glasses.

There has been a change though and I think I would describe it like this. In 'the olden days' there was an unspoken realization that we were the lucky ones. All us residents had made a decision to move here and, if we wished, we could leave. Sure we could moan about the 'functionaires' but the truth was it wasn't our country, we were guests. I think some of the comments now are made here by people who couldn't make them on a French forum as they would be told where to get off. Or as we used to say where I come from " If you don't like it, there's a mail boat in the morning"

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1 hour ago, DaveLister said:

OK I'll bite and I expect to be fully shot down in flames for this.

When I joined the forum it was at the height of the 'place in the sun'ers. A steady stream of bright eyed virgins who thought their ruin of a farmhouse could be renovated for a fiver and the two rooms they'd let in the summer would bring in enough income for them to spend the rest of the year sitting on the terrace drinking the local wine whilst watching the sunset. They would roundly criticize the old hands that would gently **** their bubble for being unduly negative. They didn't want to hear that France wasn't just populated with friendly bakers and onion sellers, that the schools weren't good or that there was high unemployment. For me, the value of this forum has always been the lack of those rose tinted glasses.

There has been a change though and I think I would describe it like this. In 'the olden days' there was an unspoken realization that we were the lucky ones. All us residents had made a decision to move here and, if we wished, we could leave. Sure we could moan about the 'functionaires' but the truth was it wasn't our country, we were guests. I think some of the comments now are made here by people who couldn't make them on a French forum as they would be told where to get off. Or as we used to say where I come from " If you don't like it, there's a mail boat in the morning"

I agree totally with what you say...but I missed the place in the sun'ers on forums. I arrived too late.

People think moving to France is a fix to their life problems.

Sell house UK buy cheap house France. Retire, convert it into a gîte, set up some dumb tourist business and live a fruitful life in France. Mostly all move to the same places and try and do the same thing. Which is as dumb as the idea in the first place. 

They never ask the question why French people don't do this. I would say, they don't do it because it is economic suicide. We could do it easily, with budles of cash to spare. We would be broke in 5-10 years and the kids have little future. 

It is madness this moving to France business unless you do your maths right and speak perfect French . But folks won't be told. 

Some profit from this stupidity (who am i thinking of ?) but you don't blame them for doing so.

So yeah, people need to be warned. 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10752237/Dead-bodies-British-couple-hanged-isolated-French-countryside-home.html

(This was reported yesterday in La Figero. 

 

PS...how many people actually move to France for the French bit ? Not many. 

 

Edited by alittlebitfrench
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45 minutes ago, alittlebitfrench said:

I agree totally with what you say...but I missed the place in the sun'ers on forums. I arrived too late.

People think moving to France is a fix to their life problems.

Sell house UK buy cheap house France. Retire, convert it into a gîte, set up some dumb tourist business and live a fruitful life in France. Mostly all move to the same places and try and do the same thing. Which is as dumb as the idea in the first place. 

They never ask the question why French people don't do this. I would say, they don't do it because it is economic suicide. We could do it easily, with budles of cash to spare. We would be broke in 5-10 years and the kids have little future. 

It is madness this moving to France business unless you do your maths right and speak perfect French . But folks won't be told. 

Some profit from this stupidity (who am i thinking of ?) but you don't blame them for doing so.

So yeah, people need to be warned. 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10752237/Dead-bodies-British-couple-hanged-isolated-French-countryside-home.html

(This was reported yesterday in La Figero. 

 

PS...how many people actually move to France for the French bit ? Not many. 

 

Not living in an 'enclave' I don't know about your conviction that most buy cheap, run Gites etc. I would tend to agree though that many do buy because , relatively, property is cheap, at least before the 'reparations' have to be done!! In my part of France most appear to be French who run a Gite, B-B etc. In fact I don't know of any Brits around here at all, thank God!! You are perfectly correct about doing your maths before coming here, many do seem to get a rude awakening!! As for the language, well; I found , that as long as I tried that was fine. Unfortunately many Brits do seem to think that the louder you say something and repeat it often enough it will be understood! Fortunately my French has improved to the point where I no longer have to shout though with my cockney accent I do have to repeat things occasionally!  My wife and I did move here for the 'French bit'. We simply wouldn't have moved here otherwise. If it Brits you want then stay in the U.K. I believe there are still a few around over there!!!!

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<< Is the confrontational attitude in the responses of some/many members responsible for the waning popularity of this Forum? >>

Yes. Definitely.

Part of the problem is there isn't the variety of posters and experiences that there used to be. So the permanently and vocal depressed who blame France for their woes rather than themselves are foremost in their disparagement of others' questions and experiences rather than being just a part of the background noise of forum life.

We purchased this house in 2000, moved permanently in 2004, have run businesses and been employees at various times over the past 18 years (cannot recommend being an employee of a good French company highly enough! it makes life so simple) and life here is good. France is not utopia, no country is once the tax bills start to arrive, but it is a very good place to be.

We did not speak perfect French on arrival, I don't even now and though OH has worked - as the only British person - in a French company for the past 8 years, he would not say his French is perfect. Enough French and making the effort to learn combined with a positive personality gets you a long way. OH retires this year and his boss has asked him if he has any British compatriots with a similar work ethic (primarily not clock-watching) who would be interested in joining the company. There are a lot of companies out there who need staff and to begin with, enough French to understand the health & safety videos is all that's asked for.

I have many positive things to say about France but (having contributed to Living / Complete France forums in various guises for 22 years) I don't find this forum is the place to do that nowadays.

Which is a shame.

Edited by Catalpa
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25 minutes ago, Ken said:

 If it Brits you want then stay in the U.K. I believe there are still a few around over there!!!!

I have made it clear that I/we would love to live in the UK....because we want to live something different. I really don't know the UK (I did school, university, job for two years in the UK and then move to France) so would be great to explore to discover the UK. Before I am dead. 

The last thing I want to do in is move to a village in the UK where half or three quarters are French. Why would you do that ?. I love the idea of an interacial mix (people from all over the world) but not France in the UK. 

That is what I don't and will never get. Move to France live in a Brit enclave. Why for crying out loud ?

You are missing so much fun. 

 

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3 hours ago, Catalpa said:

<< Is the confrontational attitude in the responses of some/many members responsible for the waning popularity of t

I have many positive things to say about France but (having contributed to Living / Complete France forums in various guises for 22 years) I don't find this forum is the place to do that nowadays.

Which is a shame.

Bold statement, but was is the cause of that ?

 

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5 hours ago, Catalpa said:

<< Is the confrontational attitude in the responses of some/many members responsible for the waning popularity of this Forum? >>

Yes. Definitely.

Part of the problem is there isn't the variety of posters and experiences that there used to be. So the permanently and vocal depressed who blame France for their woes rather than themselves are foremost in their disparagement of others' questions and experiences rather than being just a part of the background noise of forum life.

We purchased this house in 2000, moved permanently in 2004, have run businesses and been employees at various times over the past 18 years (cannot recommend being an employee of a good French company highly enough! it makes life so simple) and life here is good. France is not utopia, no country is once the tax bills start to arrive, but it is a very good place to be.

We did not speak perfect French on arrival, I don't even now and though OH has worked - as the only British person - in a French company for the past 8 years, he would not say his French is perfect. Enough French and making the effort to learn combined with a positive personality gets you a long way. OH retires this year and his boss has asked him if he has any British compatriots with a similar work ethic (primarily not clock-watching) who would be interested in joining the company. There are a lot of companies out there who need staff and to begin with, enough French to understand the health & safety videos is all that's asked for.

I have many positive things to say about France but (having contributed to Living / Complete France forums in various guises for 22 years) I don't find this forum is the place to do that nowadays.

Which is a shame.

Time and time again I read that some posters are 'blaming' the comments here of criticism of France. maybe I'm missing something but I rarely see any criticsism  of France; Macron yes, but the country, no. ALBF is really most vocal in his criticism but as far as I can tell no one else is! So I must say that if there is something wrong with this site it's not because of criticism of the Country. There certainly aren't a variety of posters, I have said as much in a previous post as well as another reason but I think this 'criticism' of France is a figment of someones imagination, Sorry ALBF!!

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7 hours ago, Catalpa said:

Part of the problem is there isn't the variety of posters and experiences that there used to be. So the permanently and vocal depressed who blame France for their woes rather than themselves are foremost in their disparagement of others' questions and experiences rather than being just a part of the background noise of forum life.

Ah, nostalgia ain't what it used to be, so let's break out the rose-tinted.

I think you'll find that when the forum was a highly populated drop in place with a plethora of posters along with a variety of topics, the disparaging posts towards France were full on and far outweighed anything albf could muster up. There are, very occasionally, incidents of French bashing, but not any significant bashing of France to be concerned about.

I  suspect that many ex posters are either dead or have returned to their original homelands or alternative pastures.

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I would  guess  that  replacing the  helpful, practical concrete  advice or information that used to be the 'norm' (intentional pun)  by  opinions unsupported by any evidence  that a couple of more recent posters flood the Forum with  discourages others from posting.

 

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We had a simple rule in the wardroom for meals, no politics or religion. Two subjects that no two people can agree on.  I never comment on the trolling subjects as it is a waste of effort and emotion.  Topics still come up that inform (French Covid rules for example) and interesting questions to ponder over and suggest answers to.  Far less than in the "old days" when so many hopefuls arrived.  When we bought our first house here in 1991 our agent said then there were as many going back on the ferry as there were arriving.

We live in a 100% French enclave, voted in both rounds, as did both our children. Also had  informed/animated discussions with our Uber drivers ( currently exploring Gran Canaria, but that is another story) and neighbour's about the election, but have no desire to "debate" my views here.

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On 25/04/2022 at 18:10, ssomon said:

Is the confrontational attitude in the responses of some/many members responsible for the waning popularity of this Forum?

 

Yes.

13 hours ago, cajal said:

I  suspect that many ex posters are either dead or have returned to their original homelands or alternative pastures.

Sorry to disappoint but no, still alive and well, still gainfully employed in France.

23 hours ago, DaveLister said:

OK I'll bite and I expect to be fully shot down in flames for this.

When I joined the forum it was at the height of the 'place in the sun'ers. A steady stream of bright eyed virgins who thought their ruin of a farmhouse could be renovated for a fiver and the two rooms they'd let in the summer would bring in enough income for them to spend the rest of the year sitting on the terrace drinking the local wine whilst watching the sunset. They would roundly criticize the old hands that would gently **** their bubble for being unduly negative. They didn't want to hear that France wasn't just populated with friendly bakers and onion sellers, that the schools weren't good or that there was high unemployment. For me, the value of this forum has always been the lack of those rose tinted glasses.

There has been a change though and I think I would describe it like this. In 'the olden days' there was an unspoken realization that we were the lucky ones. All us residents had made a decision to move here and, if we wished, we could leave. Sure we could moan about the 'functionaires' but the truth was it wasn't our country, we were guests. I think some of the comments now are made here by people who couldn't make them on a French forum as they would be told where to get off. Or as we used to say where I come from " If you don't like it, there's a mail boat in the morning"

Totally agree. Also, generally, with Catalpa.

One or two of the posts on this thread sent my irony meter off the scale. Either they were written tongue in cheek or some posters never look in a mirror. 

I used to like the friendly banter and the sharing of random experiences, it was a feelgood place to come for a bit of lighthearted chat or to discuss what was on your mind. There was the guy who used to be on call for gite guests who had endless stories- folks who called him out just to switch the TV on, and daft stuff like that - and he had a way of telling them that made me laugh. Other posters too could be relied on to bring a bit of sunshine in their posts.

It's a long time since I found much feelgood about it. I find it way too serious and judgmental with a hard core of posters taking it in turn to get up on their soapboxes and ram their views down the throats of anyone who will listen. I never went on forums and particularly expat forums to get heavy about politics or French news and current affairs, I go to other places for that. I mainly use forums as a bit of a break from the serious side of life. A discussion is good now and again as long as it doesn't get confrontational and personal and repetitive but discussions on here frequently seem to me to be all those things. But I realise that others have a different perception and are happy with what the forum has become.

 

 

 

 

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