Finding Friends!!

[Sheffield Rover]

Hi, I'm living in Southern 46 - south of Cahors, and although I've been fortunate in making a few French "friends" in my village (I can't praise the locals enough...) I would like to make more English friends. I am a "young" 50 year old male and at present (although I value them all tremendously) all my English friends are either married and/or much older than me and I feel a bit "surplus to requirements"! My situation:- I also am married but couldn't persuade my wife and young daughter of the delights of France so bought a house and moved here myself two years ago... though I visit my family back in the UK every 5 weeks or so...

Besides working on my house, I enjoy keeping fit (running, cycling, walking), reading, socialising when I can (!!!!) and sitting in pubs by log fires drinking beer and talking with friends (oh, ok... having great 11 Euro lunches with a glass or two of Coteaux de Quercy!).

Any advice or ideas of how to expand my circle of friends would be very gratefully received! I'm going to give the Anglo-French society (??) in Cahors a go after Christmas!

Thanks!

Sheffield Rover

 

[Macker]

Not meaning to be intrusive or anything but since you brought up the subject my curiosity got the better of me! You say that you're married with a young child but they didn't want to move to France so you just upped and left anyway!! A rover or not this does seem a little extreme but good luck in your search for companions anyway...

[Tresco]

You're being harsh Macker. The guy goes back every 5 weeks!

Also, let's have some sympathy with him, as he describes himself as 'young' even though (in the eyes of any child) he's ancient.[;-)]

Not in your area in France, Sheffield Rover, but see how I spring to your defence?

No one understands us![:D]

PS, If you're a Blade it's over between us. [:-))]

[Dick Smith]

So one week in five he's Sheffield United?

I see now.

I think if I did that I would be Carshalton Divorced.

[Tresco]

LOL Dick!

Sheffield Rover, trying the Anglo-French group is a good idea. Some people swear by it.

I'm just dying to talk about Sheffield. Is it really obvious?

[Owens88]

I am from Sheffield originally. AND I am just over 50. But my property is in 66 and I am based in the uk.

 

OK. Lets swap schools

St Joseph's / De la Salle

 

[Tresco]

[quote user="Owens88"]St Joseph's / De la Salle[/quote]

I think you may have known my big sisters. Maybe not. I'm still struggling to get to know them even now.

St Wilfrids/St Pauls/Notre Dame.

Now you understand [:)]

[Chancer]

Sheffield Rover

I am a similar age and single although I didn't leave a wife and family behind, I suppose we should call you "partially seperated"!

I have found the association A.V.F. (accueil des villes francaises) very useful in making new French friends.

My curiosity is, why after giving up so much to move here are you keen to make English friends?

FWIW Most of the English that I have met here are also married and/or much older (at least in the mind), whilst I don't feel surplus to requirements I do find my French friends more accepting of a slightly older single person.

[Sheffield Rover]

Hi Guys - thanks for the replies.

Lots for me to address!

Firstly, I would never have come to France if ANYONE in my family would have suffered at ALL. Financially everything is hunky dory, and emotionally --- well I took GREAT care to ensure there would be/is no hurt or damage - in fact I reckon that during my visits "home" we all get on better than we used to. (and maybe I didn't run off but "removed" myself so that my family would be happier). Yes, I know there are a number of people who I reckon think I'm the devil incarnate who ran off to the sun and fun leaving all my responsibilities... well they don't know much about the situation and it ain't been all wine and sun loungers.... (not that that's my dream...).

J.R.- There are many, many things I love about the French-- and it could well be because of my, as yet, limited proficiency in French, but I feel I want the "ease of communication" with Brits. (After posting my original post I did regret using that term "surplus to requirements".... "a bit uncomfortable"?). Will try A.V.F.

By 'eck, do all the contributers to this site write such stuff???? S'not becomin' of a Northerner...

Maybe King Ted's was to blame.

Not a big footy fan, (but if pushed was a Blade..  'cos wasn't a bosses son (years ago it was like that)). THINGS ARE PROBABLY DIFFERENT NOW... ;-)

Also spent time in Shades, Penthouse and Stonehouse.

Merci, mes amis! A bientot!

Sheffield Rover 

 

[Tresco]

[quote user="Sheffield Rover"]Maybe King Ted's was to blame.[/quote]

We used to go swimming in your pool. Or was that before your time?. It was paid for by paper collection/recycling of:  or is that a Sheffield Urban Myth.

You'll have been more familiar with High School Girls then? Close to you.

[Chancer]

Sheffield Rover

I understand your sentiments completely re ease of communicating sentiment expression etc, I had been here for over 3 months before finding out there were any Brits in the area and it was great to communicate in my mother tongue.

However - I really now understand why immigrants in Britain stick together and form communities or even ghettos and suspect that like me you didn't come here to do that.

I can only say from my experiences that by working hard to learn the language and whilst staying in contact with the Brits, socialising mainly with my new French friends I am happier. I find it more rewarding to communicate (even with limited vocabulary) with people who have a similar mind-set (i.e. AVF members are all newcomers to their towns) than people that don't really want to integrate, to learn the language and who have effectively "drawn the wagons in a circle around their families".

[Sheffield Rover]

J.R.

Yes, you have it right. At one time I was interested in living in a place in France that is something of a "British ghetto" ... and I can see how seductive it can be.. always people who might help and support you, and certainly you will feel less lonely at a time when, for a number of possible reasons, you feel insecure (attempting a new life, buying property etc.). I'm really glad I couldn't afford property in that place (and I'd NEVER have afforded the bar bills...). I know that soon I would be re-visiting situations that I wanted to leave behind. Also I found I didn't have much in common with a lot of those Brits. I landed up in a small village (the only Brit in the village) with a handful of Brits some distance away. The French in my village have been wonderful- if initially a bit warey/shy of me. After a year I think  I'm "adopted" - one old lady with two sons of her own now calls me "her English son" whilst she gives me coffee in her kitchen and force feeds me enormous quantities of chocolate biscuits!!!!

Yes, I MUST force myself to work on the language (new year resolution!).

Thanks for the comments and the advice,

Sheffield Rover

 

[Sheffield Rover]

Tresco,

I wish I had been more familiar with High School girls ;-)... and CRIPES, do you mean to say that at one time there were GIRLS in OUR pool? They kept that quiet!

I arrived at King Ted's in the mid Sixties.. the pool was there then (maybe just built?). Never heard the paper collection story though.... However interestingly one of the boys wrote a very learned paper in the School Magazine explaining why 50 minutes down at the pool went so much faster than 50 minutes in Room B1 up in the school studying physics (all to do with vector analysis of the longitudes and latitudes, the consequent increased rotational velocity of the Earth and extension of time and space...). Ground-breaking stuff for the time ;-)  

Where was/is Notre Dame? That smart looking place you could just glimpse through the trees from the top deck of the number 60 bus along Fulwood Road??

Anyway, Tresco, I could reminisce for hours about the "City on the Move" and the fish tank in t'hole in road, but this isn't the place for that. Do you ever look at http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/ ? 

A la prochain,

Sheffield Rover  

[Tresco]

You're quite right about it not being the right place for a Sheffield Memories Fest, but I can't resist.

Your pool was open to the public a couple of evenings a week, in the early '70's, and it was so posh compared to Heely or Glossop Baths. 

Yes that was the Upper school I went to. The Lower school was just off West Street.

I have a look at the Sheffield forum sometimes but don't post there.

We're in a similar situation to you as far as not living near/knowing a large number of British people. sometimes I think if I saw one I would grab it and drag it home with me, just for the chance of a 'live' chat in English, but I bibble on here instead.[;-)]

Good luck on making contact with potential friends[:D]

 

[Patf]

There is a newspaper for english speaking people in France called French News - any newsagent sells it. There will be a section for the area where you live and lists of activities which would lead to new contacts. We have just moved house and bought this one from a man in the same situation as you. He had it for 12 years and went "home" to his wife and family regularly. He had french and english friends but was on his own a lot. Eventually he had to sell up and go back. Not sure why. Hoping you meet some friends - try walking/rambling clubs. Pat.

[Lottie in Lot]

Hi Rover,

There are some early-fifty-somethings east of Cahors. Whereabouts are you? Maybe you could send an email to my mailbox? My partner spends his life in China and the US so I know how you feel!

Bonne chance

Lottie

[Callandclan]

Well, I think I went to AVF and they didn't have a clue, maybe I went to the wrong place.

We are in a bit of a similair postion, we are in our very early 40's one son 11 in college in Cahor.  We would love to meet more people, be they French, English, Dutch, German etc.  I'd love to improve my French, but only having 4 hrs per week and then never speaking it again for the week, means I'm not as good as I could be, but I really do try and its very important to me.

We would love more friend of any nationality, we are trying to be as self sufficient as possible, echo friendly and also, love nothing better than a good drink, board games, putting the world to rights, a bit of dancing on the patio, to just about any old rubbish (northern soul for me). 

We are right in the middle between Cahors, Figeac and Garamat, our nearest town is the Labastide Murat. We are not your normaly aged retires either, hubby finished his 22 yrs in the Army and me, well that would be telling!

Please get in touch anyone if you fancy a chat and making new friends.

 

 

[Bob T]

Ah Callandclan, early retired on a military pension. I know what you mean as I am in the same situation. Does it annoy you when people tell you that you are lucky to be able to retire early? My standard answer is that anyone could have joined the Army at 17 and earned a pension.

We are also into the eco friendly bit, but cannot be bothered with the self sufficientcy stuff. If you have some sort of hobby that is a talking point you find that you tend to meet loads of people of all nationalities, ours are motorbikes and we find that when we are out and about on them we end up chatting to other bikers from all over Europe. I am lucky in one way, that is that I speak fluent German, and have now got a few German biker friends but that puts Jude at a disadvantage.

If you want to chat just for the sake of it then look at my blog and post a comment or email the address there, I will then let you know our skype name.

I have noticed that Sky TV has now got a French news channel on 515, which may help a little with the language.

[cooperlola]

I agree with one of the above posters, if you like walking, the local ramblers are great.  Or you could take a leaf out of the book of a couple of Brits who live not far away.  On the occasion of his 50th birthday, his OH got out the local phone book and invited everybody with an English name along.  Loads of them came and they now have a lot of UK friends round about.  This isn't for me personally, as I try to avoid getting too "ex-pat" but it may be an idea for you Mr Rover - the Brit names are pretty easy for you to spot and the way the French phone book is arranged makes it simple to look at surrounding villages.