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This surely isn't a surprise whether he was solitary or not.

In our french home we would hardly see our neighbours for weeks at a time, once autumn started. In fact one neighbour had left her husband of 35 years, and had been gone for months and I hadn't noticed that I hadn't seen her. And in summer people could be away for weeks at a time too.

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It is the sort of situation which can too easily happen. One hears of rural isolation but it can just as easily occur in towns especially if cut off from neighbours apart from the bickering referred to in the text.

I didn't know him so can't comment on his level of French, but if it wasn't very good that would increase the chances of feeling cut off.

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My original intention when buying in France was to move out alone. The very forthright agent persuaded me not to buy the beautiful but secluded property I had my eye on as he did not want to hear that another former client had eventually been found in the Spring having "blown his head off" in the Winter.

It's certainly something to bear in mind before taking the plunge.
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There does seem to be a modern obsession with people living on their own. If the media are to be believed, people living alone are lonely, sad and simply waiting for some good soul to knock on their door and provide them with company.

There doesn't seem to be any recognition that many people want to be on their own, don't like company and are perfectly happy about their chosen lifestyle.

In Blighty, there was a blizzard of such stuff before Christmas, practically ordering people to go around knocking on the doors of people living on their own because they must be lonely.

I am sure there are some who do want company, but nowadays it seems the perceived wisdom that anyone who doesn't must be ill either physically or mentally.
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I think there's a difference between "alone" and "lonely", that's for sure. However, I do think that as individuals we all have some sort of responsibility (whether we are the ones choosing a solitary existence or not) to be a bit sensible and vigilant. This may not be a "popular" thing to say, but in light of this report and other recent events (I'm sure I don't need to draw a picture for you) I think that people who make a choice to remain in relative solitude might also give consideration to the fact that, should anything happen to them, it is in their interests to ensure that there's someone who knows just enough about them to raise the alarm should they not be seen for a day or so. So many of these sad incidents could be avoided, without anyone having to give up their freedom or independence but just by reaching out to a neighbour and making some sort of contact. agreeing to make or receive a phone call every other day, for example, could be an option.

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I understand what you say, Betty, but part of me thinks that there are pressures on people to 'fit a mould' and if you don't conform to what 'society' decides is the norm then there is something wrong with you and you have to be forced into becoming more like everyone else.

There are times of emergency - for example the recent floods - when it is one's duty to look out for our solitary neighbours, but I'm not sure about the regular checking up on people who may not want to be checked upon.
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I'm with you on this one Thibault, although we are a couple we are very happy to be alone together, we do not particularly socialise and enjoy each others company. We are possibly even thought to be reclusive.

We can go days or even weeks without seeing anyone else from the nearest village and even then it is only in passing. I would feel that neighbours checking up on us on a regular basis would be intrusive and annoying.

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That's precisely my point, nomoss...amd Powerdesal, if there are two of you, then it's not really the same at all. My point was that, to some extent, it may be unwelcome or inconvenient to be "checked up on" or to feel accountable to others, but sometimes a bit of consideration for people who may have the misfortune to have to find you (whether at home or further afield) when something goes horribly wrong might not go amiss.

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The point was brought home to me in the small place where I sometimes stay in rented accomodation.

After my first stay I went back to the big town and thought nothing of it.

One of the neighbours said on my return that they had been worried at seeing the shutters remain closed for a week....

As my usual 'quartier' is so dubious I would never have thought of that, but now I tell them if I am leaving..

I don't have any particular contact with them, but I do feel secure.

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NormanH,

Exactly the same, where we used to  live, esp when OH was living there on his own,  before I moved over permanently.  Our neighbour opposite once told me that she had been concerned when she had not seen the shutters open, but didn't like to disturb, and then later she saw  him around ...

after that, we too let them know if we were going to be away.

Some people might think it being nosy - I like to think it more a concern and an awareness for others.  She never worried quite so much once she knew I was there as well but you never know when it might be of great use to have  a "nosy" neighbour ....

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There is often a fine line between somebody taking a friendly interest and being "snooped" on. Sometimes it seems that neighbours are so nervous about being thought "snoopy" that they ignore warning signs that something tragic has happened.

People are different in this respect. I am happy in my own company when Mrs R is away while she gets lonely quite easily if I am away. We are both not very sociable people and but provided we have each other then no problems.

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 I do not think that there is anything wrong with living alone and not wanting to socialise.

I don't get this living alonely thing as I call it. The choice to live alone is one thing, but to feel lonely is quite another and not necessary as in France and the UK there are enough 'social' groups one can join and make friends that one should never feel lonely.

I note that Esther Rantzen has started a hot line for older people who are lonely. She has said that she is lonely, but frankly, as she ran off with her friend's husband, is it really too much to imagine that many women that she knows, might not really trust her....... her having form for such things?

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