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oliveau
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ran to Mlle Lafarge at the Presbytery and said, "I know exactly what you 'ave in mind - keep it 'ot - I will be right back!"

M le Maire then ran down the road into the Auberge.......

Sex

.....then back to Mlle Lafarge, where he.....................

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Which, of course, Russethouse had known all along. However, their presence at the Mairie and the fact they walked into this story at that particular time, was purely coincidence. In fact, Russethouse was shocked to suddenly find herself featuring in the events she had been reading on the forum. And the fact she found herself with her life-long hero confused her even more...

Had she been drugged and spirited away from her home? Or was this the result of the violent thunderstorm that was raging whilst she had been sitting at her computer? Had some strange phenomena effectively sucked her into this epic story via her monitor?

But all was soon to be revealed when in walked...............?.............(the well-known pessimist from the website)

 ........who said, ".......

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...specialités du porc.  And that is why the Maire is courting the buyers from Sainsburys, Waitrose and Tesco at une petite soirée, where the savoury culinary delights on offer will be enhanced by several casks of vin rouge and the inimitable charms of Yvette, Mlle Lefarge and the delectable Sophie.  "Good grief" exclaimed Justin, the chap from Tesco cold meats procurement, "please let me .....

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...was sweet, and now she understood that when Les Anglais were referred to a 'barmy' it meant they liked barm cakes. Poor misguided Anglais, what chance did he stand of finding an Anglais delicacy in the boulangerie? Pouf! about as much chance as.....
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.......Julian Clary appearing out of nowhere - which is exactly what happened after that certain word was used.

Wearing his little pink tu-tu and with a star-dust sprinkling wand in his hand, he exclaimed to all present...

                                                                        

"I am a natural born mincer and I have been sent to this dreadful establishment to.....................

 

(NOTE TO MODS - Julian's own website is about him being a natural born mincer, so you need not worry about this term) 

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....where he found there was a surfeit of ramoneurs, especially randy ones, so he has set off to look for somewhere his special skills will be more appreciated.  Yvette sees his van through the window and her heart leaps with excitement.  After all this time would her chimney at last be swept?  She runs to the door, but someone in a pink tutu is rushing past her calling with excitement "Blow me down, if it isn't Randy Ramon from Rochdale... I haven't seen you since......"

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...Golders Green Hippodrome in 1943, so you must be at least 103 now." At that, Randy Ramon realised that he was well past his sell by date, and dropped dead on the spot. M. Jambe de Bois, the undertaker, who just happened to be passing in his little black 2CV shuddered to a halt saying, "I am just on my way to lay the widow Beauvais........
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