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oliveau
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... Jules et Antoine, of 'L'Amicale des Cyclistes de Trifouilli-les-Oies', were judging the competition for the best pair of melons. There were all kinds to judge from. Big green ones with juicy red insides which Antoine favoured for the crunch of the black seeds and that they had plenty to hold and get one's teeth into, lovely orangey coloured ones with translucent green insides but really with no taste, little Charentais ones with their green/grey tight outer skin and bright orange sweet juicy slices... Jules loved and drooled over these little Charentais melons. Just right for his handlebar moustache not to get in the way. At the end of the line they were surprised to find Marie of the Mairie with le Maire .......
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....... who was struggling to understand this strange language being spoken by a tall gentleman in a gendarme's uniform.  Marie of the Mairie and le Maire were discussing the qualities of the Charentais melons when the gendarme approached and asked ..............
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.....if they had seen Jean-Luc, the pompier, as Mme Sommier from the quincaillerie had informed him the Jean-Luc had a splendid red-hot poker. The gendarme was looking for something that would restore his wife's ardour in......
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....yacht. Marie loved the sea but could never get there in a month of Sundays as Mr le Maire (no one knew that his real name was Theodopopoulodokis-his dear Mother was a refugee from the big war to end all wars) was sea-sick at the mere mention of a nutshell floating down the garden stream, therefore always put an end to Marie's sailing ambition. She was determined though to go on a sea voyage and yearned for René, the fish&chip man, to take her .....
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....anywhere                  

anyplace

 

anytime

(its martini -ah i tink musical it is in my jeans you know)

except when she went to see her old  aunt with the stvange vays who lived next to a London prison vere they.....

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....viewed as a total weird entity. They dared eat that awful green jelly stuff on his brother's best lamb. Mr Brioche's brother  married la Colette, of La Grange sur La Lande. She was a darn young pretty milkmaid. She got her knickers in a twist with some foreign chap in the war. One of them Anglais or Américain soldier. All the same to Mr Brioche, they gave la Colette something to be remembered with and his dear brother Ernest took pity on the poor girl......
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..and gave her an original bag of crisps with the secret blue sachets of salt buried in the bottom!she loved them and now is a devoted fan  of  those wonderful crisps-but the problem is she does not know where to find...
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and fry their bacon for breakfast, they really do have some strange ways! after all what is wrong with buttered bread dipped in hot chocolate?  As for jean-luc lepeyre he realy should be ashamed of himself , he took up the engish habit of.........
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