Frenchie Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Well, I should have reported immediately then, because I felt it, but no worries. [geek]Hope I won't have to in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyboop Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Welcome back.I only belong to this and another forum (completely different topics) and I always think it is a shame that people feel that they cannot have their say without feeling harrassed for doing so and therefore leave the forums.Im sure that some people leave comments that they wouldnt dream of doing face-to-face and they only do so because they can hide behind their computers.Better to say nought than upset someone, thats just me though.Hope you stick around as you have been an asset to this forum, as said, report anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchie Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Thanks for your post, it makes me feel good to read friendly messages ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 [quote user="bettyboop"]Welcome back. I only belong to this and another forum (completely different topics) and I always think it is a shame that people feel that they cannot have their say without feeling harassed for doing so and therefore leave the forums. I'm sure that some people leave comments that they wouldn't dream of doing face-to-face and they only do so because they can hide behind their computers. Better to say nought than upset someone, that's just me though. Hope you stick around as you have been an asset to this forum, as said, report anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.[/quote]I think your right there, I wouldn't write what I would not say to a persons face, its a bit like phoning somebody rather than say it face to face. People always disagree about something but the fact that another does not seem to agree with you and states their case which is different to yours does not mean they are a bully, just different. In the past I have come across many who when somebody disagrees throw their teddy in the corner, collect their ball and go home rather than try and state their case in a calm and rational way, perhaps they get over passionate about the given subject and it clouds their logic, I don't know, but we all have a right to our opinions be they right or wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViVienne Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 and you don't have to rubbish other peoples opinions just to strengthen your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Spot on, Vivienne. And you don't have to state even strongly-held opinions in a confrontational way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Perhaps the problem comes when fact gets in the way of a wrong opinion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russethouse Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 My guess is that if lots of forum members do not agree with your view and say so, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and isolated, but bullying IMHO is something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 [quote user="Quillan"]Perhaps the problem comes when fact gets in the way of a wrong opinion?[/quote]But, Q, are you always able to distinguish fact from fiction?I know I can't but then I don't claim to have particularly wonderful critical faculties![:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabbie Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 [quote user="Quillan"]Perhaps the problem comes when fact gets in the way of a wrong opinion?[/quote]I know what I think. Don't confuse me with the facts[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchie Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 Cyber bullying Definition Cyber bullying is defined as the use of Information Communications Technology (ICT), particularly mobile phones and the internet, deliberately to upset someone else.Maybe that is what I felt.. [Www] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clair Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Frenchie, I am sorry you felt bullied, but no one posted to upset you, I am quite sure.Several people disagreed with your opinion. That does not make them bullies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 With that definition then I was most certainly cyber bullied when I posted my very first post ever on Living France and was for quite some time afterwards. The posts were not even to upset, but were totally agressive in nature. I was to be at least put in my place, or best got rid of. Obviously I am made of sterner stuff than that.[6] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchie Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 AS Clair would say, that must be a matter of perception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russethouse Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Iduns experience was entirely different with, if I remember correctly someone deliberatley publishing her private information on line (Idun, please correct me if I am wrong) That was way before the time of mods, and not long after the forum first started. Lots went on then that wouldn't be tolerated now, luckily things have evolved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybanana Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Time of us old dinosaurs, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pachapapa Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 [quote user="Frenchie"]Cyber bullying Definition Cyber bullying is defined as the use of Information Communications Technology (ICT), particularly mobile phones and the internet, deliberately to upset someone else.Maybe that is what I felt.. [Www][/quote]The definition of cyber-bullying is misleading as it does not define initially bullying but only considers the medium by which the bullying is effected. In particular it makes no reference to the repetitive nature of bullying over a period of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russethouse Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Time of us old dinosaurs, then? Yep - thats us [;-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Yes, my private info was published. My was that poster mad that I had posted, I was obviously the biggest baddest troll on the internet. They said that I knew nothing about France, then posted my french address and french phone number, along with my name. So, if I lived in France, maybe I knew something about France? just something that the idiot had obviously not considered in spite of me saying that I had lived in France for a long time too, but they weren't having any of that. However, it certainly was not just that person who was 'attacking' me. It felt like I had lit blue touch paper and forgot to stand back. A whole host of rose coloured specs people jumped on me, some with vigour, some just disagreeing vehementally. And a few stood up for me too, I haven't forgotten them either[:)]. So different experience, well I think it was worse really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 So, is being attacked not being bullied? PPP, just wondering.[Www] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pachapapa Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 [quote user="idun"]So, is being attacked not being bullied? PPP, just wondering.[Www][/quote]If you walk into a "bunch of fives" in the pub or at Old Trafford then no.If you get debagged twice a day on the school bus yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Fair comment, so I was attacked and then bullied a little? But does it count as bullying if the bullying is water off a duck's back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Using the info Frenchie has given I have been bullied so many times I can't even count. Honestly, what are we really saying here is that if somebody says something you dislike and it upsets you then they are bullying you. Well I dislike Tony Blair and anything he says (I am probably not alone) does the mean he is bullying me? Saying something you dislike does not in any way mean you are being bullied. Calling you names like "stupid cow", "w*anker", "Fat slut" or some extremely personal comment about you on a public forum in a threatening way, now that could be called bullying or simply just plain offensive and would not be tolerated. If people simply don't like, or disagree with what you are saying and say so that is not bullying. Lets be frank about this we are talking about the DSK thread and if the moderators thought there was bullying then some form of action would have taken place. There was no bullying and no action was taken. If anyone reading that thinks differently then perhaps it might be best if they didn't post or read the forum because they are sure going to see a few things they dislike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pachapapa Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 [quote user="idun"]Fair comment, so I was attacked and then bullied a little? But does it count as bullying if the bullying is water off a duck's back?[/quote]"Sticks & stones will break my bones but words will never harm me!"All relative to the particular sensitivity and sensibilities of the victim.Often a primary school pupil will be subjected to relatively mild bullying but this will be done by a collective group making the consequences serious for the victim, often due to the resulting alienation from his peer group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Pacha, words can and do harm. Isn't that one of the reasons that one can now no longer use words like "cripple", "spastic" etc and not come across as insensitive?I know it's easier said than done but, in a big way, it's difficult to be the subject of "bullying" if one refuses to adopt the role of "victim".And I'm not talking about children or the mentally unstable here. If you are a fully-grown up person and you are in full charge of your faculties, then you should be able to defend yourself against bullying .....but, of course, there are limits.As you have pointed out, Pacha, it would be hard to avoid a bunch of fives....[:'(] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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