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A plea from the heart


woolybanana
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Well, as you all probably know, the last banana in the bowl often gets forgotten and goes all black and horrible. So, concerned for one of their members, the Banana High Council has decided that this banana should again take unto him a mate of the female variety. Soon, before he rots at the bottom of the Waterford, so should any of you wish a partner, or have a sister, aunt, cousin friend or whomsoever who might care to mate, please inform the banana and arrangements shall be made to initiate contact. Person over 50 who likes dogs with a slight touch of madness, solvent, etc. Banana CV available on request.

Thanks guys![:$]

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Years ago, Wooly, I had a long conversation on the phone with a guy at a company who hired out costumes for television productions (he was asking me about our staff uniforms for a Morcambe and Wise sketch.)  We really hit it off and at the end of a long and very funny chat, he asked me out (pretty good as he hadn't a clue what I looked like - if he had he might have been less keen[:-))]).  I had to tell him that I was married and not on the market at the time.  The next day, he sent me a bunch of flowers with a note attached, saying simply: "Pity you're married". 

Thus I say unto you, Wooly darling "Pity I'm married."  (Not that you'd be interested in a fat bat in wheelchair anyway!) 

Good luck in your search - I wish you the best in finding the top banana for you.[kiss]

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I seem to remember, Wools, that when I was a rookie on the Forum, I suggested that we all started looking out for a mate for you.  And Twinkle (God, where's that girl when you want her?) sent you a picture of Clarrisa Dickson Wright.

We know you'd like someone who can cook you nursery food like meat pies and deserts like Death by Banana and Banana Custard and so on and I thought she'd be ideal.  In fact, I saw her being interviewed by Fern Britton last Sunday and, now that she's sobered up, she sounds an eminently sensible and interesting woman.

I think I mentioned that she'd keep you cosy and warm between the sheets by night and keep you fed and happy by day.  Would you like her contact details?

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Is that an awakening interest I see there?  Can someone please send Wools a photo of Clarissa?  Hey, she's a real bluestocking and was a barrister before she was de-barred or whatever they call it for bankruptcy.

But she is B I G on TV and she must earn mega bucks at the moment......[;-)] 

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Look, Wools, beggars cannot be choosers...you ever heard that expression? 

So, what d'ya want then, a Lolita?[Www]

BTW, I sent you a PM earlier, before I read all this here, so please excuse me if I didn't specifically mention anyone in the PM.

Matchmaker, matchmaker........I'll try and find the relevant song for you from Fiddler on the Roof.

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She is certainly what my o/h would describe as "a good bedful" - happily he has as much fat on him as a greasy chip and thus this is meant as a compliment.    Doesn't strike me as a bit spoilt, and in fact rather fun.  But possibly not your type  I have no idea.

Don't write off the idea of ads too quickly.  My dear old da', when rather younger than I am now, found a few partners via small ads - one or two rather lovely whom I still correspond with ( a vast improvement on my mother, that is for certain.)  You never know - might work for you, but I think you need to start with a banana-specific publication to find your true soul mate!

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So, where's the old boy gone?  He's uncharacteristically quiet!  Has his plea been answered, do you think?  Is there another lonely banana out there who is looking for and has now found our old Wooly?

Next installment coming to a cinema near you?  Well, then, what.....???!!!

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[quote user="sweet 17"]I seem to remember, Wools, that when I was a rookie on the Forum, I suggested that we all started looking out for a mate for you.  And Twinkle (God, where's that girl when you want her?) sent you a picture of Clarrisa Dickson Wright.

We know you'd like someone who can cook you nursery food like meat pies and deserts like Death by Banana and Banana Custard and so on and I thought she'd be ideal.  In fact, I saw her being interviewed by Fern Britton last Sunday and, now that she's sobered up, she sounds an eminently sensible and interesting woman.

I think I mentioned that she'd keep you cosy and warm between the sheets by night and keep you fed and happy by day.  Would you like her contact details?[/quote]

Clarissa is a LOVELY lady.  I have it on good authority.  A fellow wasp allergy sufferer of mine was airlifted to hospital by air ambulance after being stung by a wasp at an agricultural show, when C D-W was speaking  Clarissa took the time and trouble to write and find out how the patient had fared.

Her good manners and her caring attitude are unquestionable.

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