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Cooperlola - Cremation


cooperlola2
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The cremation went as well as these thing can, and I got through my 8-page eulogy. There were about 30 mourners,which was ideal for me to meet and greet. I knew every one. I did not stop to watch the CCTV relay of the actual burning, thanks, but a few people did.

Loirette of this parish was there with her husband, so France Forum was represented, and I said so in my speech.

I would be happy to post the eulogy - but as it's 8 pages (albeit 14 point, as suggested on here, good idea!) I'm not confident that would be popular. I am struggling to think where I could place it to provide a link. Perhaps one of the clever-with-IT people has an idea?

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Ian, I'm so glad everything went as smoothly as it could...I'm sure I'm not the only one who took a few moments out at the appropriate time.

I expect we'd like the opportunity to read the eulogy, my only thought is Dropbox, (www.dropbox.com/) its free. You add or copy your file (Word Doc ?) to your Dropbox, right click on it and select Dropbox and then Get link

Dropbox is a very useful utility for sharing stuff, but of course someone may have a better idea, between you and me I'm pretty low tech !

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"And leaning on the rail right behind and between them, clearly enjoying

the show, is Deb. The pic would be from a similar era to the recording, I

think. I am sitting here holding a framed copy of the pic, which Deb

got from the original photographer.   "    
 

What a most beautiful memory that has given you - and to cheer you up, just a little, I hope.

Like others here, I too sent up a little prayer for you and Deborah at the appropriate time, and I am pleased that you felt happy enough with it  all to come and tell us a little about how it all went.  That's another hurdle less to overcome.  God Bless.

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If truth be told, it was the act of turning each para into French that helped me get through. I had to suddenly revert from one accent to another (with me, accent is of course a relative description!) and this helped me not to think about the coffin that I was standing next to! Once I'd completed the reading, and the music was under way, I did have a few tears. What I hope you are finding is that Deb and I had comparable writing skills, as part of our overall compatibility. As I may have said before, Deb's eulogies for her father and sister were top-hole stuff, and delivered without hesitation or sobs. I would have been letting her down if I hadn't tried to equal her performance, which I nearly did.

I'm a bit tired after such a day, have had dinner on the terrace with three friends - one of whom delivered the dinner - and have still to feed the horses.

Goodnight France Forum!

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Yes, it was on the bypass road, just approaching the traffic lights. The lorry had started from the lights, pulled out to avoid a parked camionette - there are two lanes going east for a few hundred metres - but didn't realise that someone else was overtaking him, having not checked his mirror. The car overtaking him was simply knocked sideways into the single westbound lane - where Deb drove straight into it.

When Deb first went to A&E 14 months ago, and they diagnosed a masse on her ovary, they also asked whether she had had a fall? The "fall" was obviously the impact of the crash, which as well as all the skeletal damage repaired by Rouen, had also caused some sort of trauma inside. It is extremely likely that Deb's cancer came from the crash.

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[quote user="cooperlola2"]

It is extremely likely that Deb's cancer came from the crash.

[/quote]

You are quite right about that and it is recognised as such in many cases. You should get hold of your lawyers or whoever Deb's was making the personal claim through and they should simply change her name (as beneficiary) to yours and the claim should continue. A good point of research on this matter (Personal Injury within the EU) is the link below. Thought it might be of some use to you. Sorry to go off subject a little, just trying to help.

http://europa.eu/documentation/legislation/index_en.htm

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I see exactly where it was Ian between the lights and the motel a bit further down on the N 12.  Not only did the lorry driver not look in his mirror, but the overtaking car had not anticipated that he would come out to avoid the parked van.  If you are coming the other way you cannot possibly anticipate that someone is going to come across on to your side.

 

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I did delve into that legislation link, TVM, but couldn't readily find anything about personal injury claims except lots of references to public transport, which is the sort of thing we might expect the EU to have a locus upon. In effect we are talking about litigation, which seems to be a rare beast in France, at least for those with limited means - no ambulance chasers that we ever found!

So Deb's claim has, for the past four years, been pursued by MAFF, her insurer. The work seems to be done by a claims agent, rather than a MAFF employee. The slow and elderly chap we had since 2008 retired earlier this year and has now been replaced by a slightly younger man, with some ideas, I suppose, but of course when I rang last week to indicate imminent death, and later, the fact, he was on leave. I have asked him to write to me with a summary of the position in the wake of Deb's departure, and am fully prepared for a clause to be invoked that says such claims cease upon death, thus letting AXA off the hook.

Once the doctors - one for each insurer - had agreed the degree of disability, which I think they calculated at 35%, then a French Government scale of values for such injuries was produced, and a value for a retired woman of Deb's age read off - that's all. There were additional sums for the number of days in hospital etc., but the final number was derisory compared to what might have been sought in the UK or USA. I have to say I am surprised if Deb hadn't rehearsed all this with the Forum yonks ago.

In fairness, outwith any compensation sum, we have had the bathroom rebuilt, some work done in the kitchen, the bedroom works completed and a stairlift installed, all paid for by the insurers. They also paid for 14 hours domestic help per week over three years, although that stopped suddenly last week, of course, and I've had no word of any sort - not even goodbye, let alone condolence - from the agency (which I would not recommend to anyone). So AXA have paid up, and have of course covered all Deb's healthcare costs arising from the accident, including all my trips to visit her in hospital at 30 cents per mile.

That leaves the original point - the causal link from the accident to the cancer. I can imagine that if there were a means to pursue this in France, it would take years, and, in view of that the remaining amount - should there be one! - would be frozen until such time. Once again, were we in other countries we might have a better chance - but we made our bed and I have to lie in it. I am not prepared to spend my widower years becoming a bitter and twisted person chasing justice if I can avoid it. My life is still worth a lot more than that, despite my loss, and I need to draw a line at the appropriate stage.

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Ian, thanks a lot for making your eulogy to Deb available to us. It was just lovely; you should feel great pride that not only were you able to find the words, but also to read it in both languages.

With regard to any claim, I feel sure that Deb's cancer was caused by the accident. However, feeling as you do that a long and maybe fruitless battle would be ahead, I think it's probably a wise idea to put it behind you and pick up your life, as you indicate. Very best wishes to you. Don't forget to pop back here in the future.

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[quote user="cooperlola2"]

 I have selected a piece of music - Fairport Convention's "Meet On The Ledge", which although first recorded in the '60s, has become an anthem for the Fairport faithful in the modern era.    [/quote]

I have found it difficult to reply to this news, but this song made me, an Excellent choice, in fact the last time I saw Deb was at the concert in Tunbridge, and specifically joined in to this number; perfect for Coops and for all the others who have demonstrated such strength and courage in life's adversity.

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