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So how many of us are still out there


Antonia
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Hi,
Most of you won't know me but I've been lurking round this forum for over 16 years. When we first moved to France it helped us change our driving licenses, gave invaluable support during the CPAM crisis, relevant information re:Brexit and last year, when I lost my husband, emotional support as well. For those of you who expressed condolences at the time I'm sorry I didn't reply but I was locked out of the forum for some reason & have only now got back in. I'm hopeful that this forum will outlive me but know that I'm probably not the only person that has dipped in and out over the years whilst contributing little. If it does end up dying I want to put on record how much I have appreciated the advice of past and present members and I hope other lurkers will come out of the shadows and join me in saying a very big
                                                                    Thank You.
                                                                     Antonia

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[quote user="Antonia"]join me in saying a very big
                                                                    Thank You.
[/quote]Yes, I whole-heartedly join you in this. 

I visit the forum every day, and hope very much that it will not fold.

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NormanH wrote the following post at 03 Sep 2020 14:53:

How nice to read such a positive thread..

I like to think I have contributed, but I have also had excellent advice.

Me too .. though I find it very puzzling why so many people read posts but don't make any comments .. or make exceedingly few.
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Yes, there used to be so many contributors on the forum.  I too left, but it was because I moved back to the U.S. for several years and did not post anymore as I wasn't in France (and there were a few other more personal reasons - having nothing to do with the forum itself).

Once I returned to France, I returned to the forum.  I wonder where all those MANY contributors have gone??  Many had lots of knowledge to share.  I miss them.

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I originally joined this forum way back, probably over 10 years ago I think, and I used to visit regularly and post when I felt I had something to contribute. Then a couple of years back the data privacy popups started driving me mad and I didn't visit for a while, and in the meanwhile I changed my computer and didn't have my password stored anywhere and I couldn't make the oassword reset work, nor would it let me set up a new account, so I couldn't post and I stopped visiting. Relatively recently I did manage to set up a new account with the same username with an @ in it.

I feel a bit of a fraud at the moment because after living in France for around 10 years I came back to the UK in 2019 with the intention of working here full-time for my three remaining years before retirement to bolster my savings, then going back to France when I reached pension age (I originally moved to France in 2007 thinking I would get my pension in 2016, then my pension age changed to 2022 plus I needed more contributions to qualify for a full pension, so what with that and the financial crash in 2008 the savings that had seemed more than adequate when I was planning the move, took a big battering). Then my job here vanished in March due to Covid-19, but for some reason I'm still hanging around in the UK. I think basically I'm a bit disheartened that twice I've tried to plan carefuly for a lifestyle change and twice it's gone belly up for totally unforeseen reasons. But hopefully in due course I'll get brave enough to start planning again, and probably that plan will be to return to France. In the meanwhile, visiting the forum is nice because it's a way to stay connected with France. Nice to see some of the posters still here that I remember from when I first joined, but where are all the rest ???

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There may be many others like me, who have had such problems signing in. I’ve had to keep changing my password as I’ve been frequently locked out - and yet again this week.

Although I haven’t contributed very much in the last couple of years, I do pop in regularly to see what everyone is doing. I’d really miss this forum if it disappeared.
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The times I've said to OH, dont worry, I'll ask on the forum and someone is BOUND to know.  Indeed that has always been the case.

I don't think I'd make a purchase, change a supplier, go on a break, plan a journey, find a mutuelle, a hotel, anything really without running it past the forum.  Good advice and recommendations always readily given, any amount of help and explanation of anything imaginable and unimaginable.

I too miss the old days when we'd tell jokes, play word games, write stories, and make each other laugh.  I seemed to have been at my most carefree when I was on here, arguing or disagreeing or sometimes just exchanging banter.

As with everything else, the forum has changed with the times and that is not always a bad thing.  Plus ça change ........ as the French say.  But I don't think I can agree that plus c'est la même chose (Sue, look at my ê!!!!!)

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mint wrote the following post at 03 Sep 2020 20:48:

The times I've said to OH, dont worry, I'll ask on the forum and someone is BOUND to know. Indeed that has always been the case.

(Sue, look at my ê!!!!!)

Brilliant 🎈 .. did you catch my latest post on that thread .. about the umlaut or " ?
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Even having left France and moved to Spain I harbour a certain fondness for this forum it being the very first I joined even before we actually moved to France in 2007.

Yes it's had it's problems and ups and downs but has survived whilst others have fallen by the wayside.
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 Been away for a few days (all other hols cancelled due to you know what, decided we had to get a break), so my first post now back.  Yes, joined originally when buying / coming to France, (2005-7???) and have had to sign in again to sign on, like many another, which belies my longevity.  Don't post as much as many, but useful info is what kept me on board ... and I remember some of the spats so well.  It would be a shame ot see it go, but must admit I am more a lurker than a poster these days ... too .. sorry!

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Not sure when I joined this Forum. My main aim was to help some of you in their daily tasks, DIY issues, grammatical questions (if I can answer ....) and of course, join discussion where my input could be of help.

I am still available for the above although sometime not logging-on for some weeks.

I don't do chit/chat and I'm hopeless when there is a debate going on and the post goes on for pages and pages without much being said actually .....

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When I joined this forum there were still dinosaurs flying around and Norman was but a twinkle in the egg of one of them. Lost tons of posts at one time and got shut out so came back as my sister.

In the early days Brits were flooding into France so there were many questions about setting up here; nobody seems to ask for left handed crank pins any more or what present to give to the mary when they announce themselves!
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Today, I am simply dipping my toe in. I have had a strange few

weeks and have simply not been on my computer much, not even thought

about it, although I have thought about many posters.

I

don't know how many times I have pleaded for people to post, that we

had lurkers was evident by the number of views, that they were not

posting was beyond me.

The thing I never got was, and you are not the first person to say it auxadrets that you don't 'do' conflict. And that notion over the years has led me to reflect about it a lot and just not understand.

So back again to me finding this board and I had been in France for about twenty years then.

What with its joyous talk of all the happy smiling helpful neighbours and talk of ingratiating oneself with the maire with a good bottle.  Not my France, never was. 

'Conflict' that was how I initially considered those VERY heated debates whilst we would eat. Everyone would argue about anything on this earth for hours, and as there were french people from all over France in our region and I was friends with them as well as locals, I had no reason to believe other than heated debates was simply the french way, and I have no idea how one can live in France without such very animated meal times.

If people have thought I am argumentative, well, you have not met the french I know, I am quite quiet in comparison.

And now, I shall log off. Amazing I have posted really and I know I should, be as I said, I am in a very reflective period of my life as well as some not so good things going on that have taken my attention.

 a bientot[:D]

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I've been around on this forum for about nine years. In that time I've gained a lot of useful information and occasionally managed to offer some useful participation too. I would hate to see the forum go and be forced to emigrate to farcebook.
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Idun wrote

"I had no reason to believe other than heated debates was simply the french way, and I have no idea how one can live in France without such very animated meal times."

I have "assisted" at many reunions in France, school, council, AG for flats and now the conseil syndical (CS) for the complex we live in. All these meetings have been very animated. After yesterdays CS I can honestly say we did 15 mins work in an hour and a half. The rest was animated hot air!

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I think a lot of people in the UK have a problem with "heated debate" because they take things too personally. They see a debate as something that one side wins and the other side loses, rather than a process of everyone throwing ideas into the mix, and reacting to the different viewpoints, and hopefully everyone ending up with a wider appreciation of the topic. There's no point going into a debate with your mind already made up because you'll be confrontational and aggressive towards anyone who doesn't agree with you, and that's not enjoyable for anyone. Whereas a rattling good debate can be quite exhilarating for everyone.

Saying that I am not sure how many French people actually do revise their viewpoints in the course of their "heated debates" but at least they have had the importance of analytical thinking, how to separate evidence from opinion, how to weigh up both sides of an argument and express a point of view, drummed into them at school, and I guess that's why they are better equipped to be assertive without having to resort to aggression. They seem more able to focus on championing their own viewpoint rather than on attacking the other viewpoints.

This post was inspired by watching Johnson's abysmal performance in PMQ just now. He's not interested in debating or answering questions, all he's interested in is saying Everything I say or do is right and everything you say or do is wrong.
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I thought @auxadrets was saying that s/he disliked conflict on forums or messageboards and avoided it. In which case I sympathise (though it's not something that worries me). Nastiness via screen arriving without tone or facial expression from people you don't know is quite different to heated debates around a kitchen table with people you do know and who you can see.

Otherwise...
I'm still here. [:D]

Probably only look in every month or so and as I'd lost my login details / password I haven't posted for... years. But as I saw this thread - and the Coops RIP - thread, I thought I'd make the effort to get a new password, remember the long defunct email addy I originally registered with... and pop in and say hi.

We bought a house here in 2000 and I'm pretty sure I started posting then - though the forum has gone through a few changes during the last 20 years.

It's nice to see familiar names today but I remember with great affection the days of Tresco, 5-Element, Twinkle, Saligo Bay, Russethouse, YCCMBetty, Val-2, Sunday Driver, the ever-reliable and trustworthy Parsnips... even (I'll type it quietly in case it evokes the presence) Miki.

While this forum has its... idiosyncracies... it has outlived many apparently more successful enterprises <coughAngloInfocough> and it's rather nice to see it still tootling along. And it's infinitely preferable to a visit to Fessebook.

Best wishes to anyone that may remember me... even if I was too blunt and upset you. I probably wasn't being malicious. Probably. [:-))]

Gods, I haven't had a good woot for years... [:-))]

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You are talking tosh albf.

You do very well on forums.

It's all the others that don't.

LOL.

But I know what you mean, there seems to be a slippery slope on forums from challenging a viewpoint to sticking the knife into the person that put forward that viewpoint.

I don't know if it happened as a result of moving to France or as a result of getting older, but one difference I notice with my more recent self is, I used to hate admitting I was wrong, or admitting I'd changed my mind on something. I don't mind a bit now. I've been wrong about lots of things and I've changed my mind about lots of things. Don't we all? I think it's healthy to rethink things.

(BTW ALBF, I did it. I'm back in Normandy. Not sure what next, but at least I know the house is OK.)
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