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Auto Censorship


Dick Smith
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As noted elsewhere, the auto-censor has asterisked out ****tail and M****illes, which seems a bit strong. I presume that there are changes which can be made to make sure that only whole cuss-words are asterisked as in **** and ****** and *** ***** **** so that we can then use words such as ******** (in the plumbing sections of course) and ****nal (whenever we're winding Miki up)(and also possibly that other club up North).

Failing that, can we have a separate section for the puerile pleasure of provoking asterisks?
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Dick,

We haven't found the answer yet, so please feel free to provoke asterisks to your heart's content. The old forum filtered out the name of a British builder in France who had a reputation for dodgy practices - this one seems to not be so fussy.

Yet strangely enough that other football club S********e United seems OK. Perhaps you'll have to write things like Ars-enal, Mars Eille, b-all,coc-ks etc. Those users who sell poultry may have difficulties when talkiing about male chickens here.

(test - ignore if you are easily offended): Scunthorpe nipples (plumbing of course) William the ******* (Bar starred)...

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.........and ****nal (whenever we're winding Miki up)

You can all wind me up, as long as ****nal is spelt with all those funny things in the name. It looks almost like Urinal, and that's not taking the pee either, or perhaps it is

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It appears that we can bugger whosoever we please, which is illegal. But we can't **** them, which isn't.

The obvious benefit of the "preview" function is that you can write huge lists of words and see what is allowed, without actually posting:-

Elephant, masturbation, conjoin, oh what the ****! I have lost my "co****r French Dictionary" (or should that be dicksionary)

 

 

Oops, of course the post button is next to the preview button & the graphics are so awful.....

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I was talking to some friends a few months ago, and one of them was amused about the fact I'd spent a holiday in Al's Ass. I said we had been to Titisee the previous year and were thinking of going to Condom for our next holiday! (But we changed our minds). She thought it was hilarious. Are there any other interesting places we should be going to - apart from M **** illes, of course!
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It depends where you are:

  • The legal age of consent for anal sex between a man and a woman in England and Wales is 18 years. In Scotland, it is 16 years. In Northern Ireland, it is illegal;
  • The legal age of consent for anal sex between two men in the UK is 18 years, provided both men consent. A lower age of consent is currently being considered in Parliament;
  • How many asterisks, I wonder? 

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    Strangely enough it has never been illegal under France's Napoleonic law - it's legal in most other countries now, including UK (Northern Ireland was the last UK country to legalise sodomy) though oddly enough it was only last year that it became legal throughout the USA.

    Not that I know anything about it of course - as an old acquaintance used to say, 'If I want to push manure uphill, I use a wheelbarrow, not my ****'

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    Nothing to do with France, but this topic reminded me of a song I knew long ago - what will the asterisk generator make of it?

    Through the processes of evolution
    from anthropoid ape down to man
    it's been generally held that the Navy
    has buggered whatever it can
    but in recent intensive researches
    by Darwin and Huxley and Hall
    it's been proved without doubt that the hedgehog
    has never been buggered at all.

    We therefore believe our conclusion
    is incontrovertibly shown
    that relative safety on shipboard
    is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone
    So why haven't they done it at Portsmouth
    as they've done it at Harvard & Yale
    and also at Oxford and Cambridge
    by shaving the spines off its tail.


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    [quote]Apparently the only word in which my accent is impeccable is 'crétin'.[/quote]

    Dick - did you know that the word 'cretin' comes from the French 'chrétien'? Apparently Christians were seen in former times as mindless, simple folk, gullible and easily led...
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    [quote]Dick, We haven't found the answer yet, so please feel free to provoke asterisks to your heart's content. The old forum filtered out the name of a British builder in France who had a reputation for do...[/quote]

    All this reminds me of the Irish racehorse called Wear The Fox Hat (caused some embarrassment to unwary commentators).

    Best wishes,

    T
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    [quote]All this reminds me of the Irish racehorse called Wear The Fox Hat (caused some embarrassment to unwary commentators).Best wishes,T[/quote]

    Teejay,

    It was a rather famous joke, told about Charlie Boy. These are just 2 shortened versions, I have heard it from after dinner speakers in a much longer version and in many guises.

    Not sure about it being a name for a race horse and although I love the sport, I don't know all their names !! So nothing would surprise me but that might have been spotted by the powers that be, when the name was first entered

    Charlies Duties

     

    1. Prince charles is opening a paint factory in Middlesborough. When he gets out of the royal limo, the man that has the job of greeting him nearly burst out laughing, prince charles was wearing a suit and a trappers hat complete with tail. After about an hour the man could hold his tongue no longer and asked the prince, "Your highness I'm not being rude but why are you wearing a fur hat in June?" Prince charles replied "Actually it was mummys idea, this morning she said Charles what are your duties for today? I said I'm opening a paint factory in Middlesborough, and mummy said Middlesborough wear the fox hat??"

    2. Prince Charles was invited to Cammell Lairds, Birkenhead, by everybody's favorite Ref, Toddy Wood. Toddy walked Prince Charles around the pitch and showed him all the good works that had been completed over the years, and explained the future plans for the club. On his walkabout, Toddy couldn't help noticing that Prince Charles was wearing a foxes hat, presumably to keep out the cold winters chill blowing across the Mersey. Toddy exclaimed to the Heir apparent "Err, sorry to have to ask Charlie lad, but err, what's with the 'at". Prince Charles looked at Toddy and started to give an overview of breakfast with his mummy. Well, he said, whilst eating ones corn flakes this morning, mummy asked where I was going today. I rather excitedly told her I was off to see "Toddy" in Birkenhead, and would return to Buckingham Palace for an evening meal. Birkenhead she retorted, WEAR THE FOX HAT!!!


     

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    Dick - sorry, I had to look up Nanny Ogg and Esme whatsherface and found they are characters in a series of books that I have never read. A bit more research found that Nanny Ogg's hedgehog song is somewhat different, though the basic principle, that sodomy with hedgehogs is impossible, still applies.

    The one I know is sung to the tune of the 'Eton Boating Song', and the better-known first verse goes:

    The sexual urge of the camel
    Is greater than anyone thinks
    At the height of the mating season
    He gets up and buggers the sphinx.
    Now the sphinx's posterior passage
    Is blocked by the sands of the Nile
    Which accounts for the hump on the camel
    And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.

    Chorus: For we're all queers together,
    That's why we go around in pairs,
    For we're all queers together,
    Now excuse us while we go upstairs.

    No, this is nothing to do with France, or auto-censorship, and I'm not going to tell you why I know that song.

     

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    seeing as the cats away and the mice are at  play and you lot are intent on trying to shock...

    When hubby and I lived in Turkey for a while we knew a native who lived on an island and he told us that during the winter and the weather was too rough to get to the mainland,to satify his manly needs he used to put a picture of his favorite lady(who lived on the mainland) on the back of his donkey and er well um you know....:blush though it could have been an ass

    Aparantly one could do all sorts with a chicken as well!!!!

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