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[quote user="Quillan"]

She is well respected, long standing, very intelligent member of this forum. Unfortunatly she feels that she would not like to post herself on this matter because she would leave herself open to ridicule by yourself. I do know that for her to say that shes upset about your comment  is an understatement and very rare.

Just to make one thing very clear about all this I have never had my moderators hat on for any of it (removed threads, locked threads etc) and have left all decisions to my fellow moderators to ensure there is no colusion between them and me what so ever. The only thing I have access to is the deleted threads and posts but then as Clair has said (and due to the quickness of replies) many get emails once a post has been submitted and as such would have a copy themselves of everything in these deleted and locked threads.

[/quote]

Quillan I repeat your probity is not in question. If the bereaved is a member of the forum she should know that I am a very caring, loveable compasionate person. If she would like to PM me I can assure her that I will offer all the help I can in this the most difficult of circumstances.

You are completely innocent - stop being on the offensive? Why start elements of aggression on such stupid small points? Stop trying so hard and go and console your bereaved friend that is far more important than your own self importance.

She is a friend why should it matter that she is a long standing member of this forum and intelligent - surely you are not elitist? Go help her in her hour of need - I don't care what hat you wear spend some time with a person that needs it.

I may remind you that compassion and care goes both ways -  think of Odile who was in fear of her life and her husbands - I am sure your friend will be in empathy with her.

I realise it is impossible to make good what your friend has lost all I can do is offer any succour and any help I can.

Please pass on my best wishes to your friend I cannot even imagine the pain she must be in.

 

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[quote user="Russethouse"]

 I'm sorry eBaynut but no you cannot. If you refer to the Code of Conduct it says :

Comments or questions regarding the general administration of the forum should be made by "private message" or using the "Report" link to the moderators or direct to Forum Admin. Such comments or questions should not be posted in the open forum.

There are good reasons for this, so further discussion will result in the thread being locked

[/quote]

DoooooooH, and I had the "steak knives" thread all lined up as well.  [Www]

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There are ways to find people's personal details. I don't know what these ways are, neither do I have any interest in finding out, but I do know they exist. Just as I know freemasons exist but I have no interest in knowing their rituals or becoming one.

I am reminded of a former user of this forum, in its earlier guise. At the time she had made more posts than anybody else. However some other nice forum user didn't agree with her views so put her personal details on the forum - one reason why she is no longer here.

That wasn't the fault of any lack of forum security.

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[quote user="Dog"] think of Odile who was in fear of her life and her husbands - I am sure your friend will be in empathy with her. [/quote]

Dog... I am really not trying to inflame this topic or make matters worse... and did wonder if I should let sleeping dogs lie [:D] but I do have to ask this...

I was reading the locked/removed thread with interest and followed the posts closely... I thought that there were points on both sides and, as I think I said earlier, I felt that there were also things that should not have been said... from all sides!  However, my question is... why was Odile in fear of her life.  Never, during that thread was their reason for her to think this.  The sign thing was a silly joke that was mis-understood and not taken as such.  It was not in the best taste but I dont recall anything that would suggest enough for someone to be in fear of their life?  Jay-Jay made his post about the joke signs very promptly so everyone could have been in no doubt that it was a joke.  I can appreciate that Odile thought it was not funny and she may well have been very angry... but in fear of her life?

I would also say that the business with the PM that followed was all very silly... I often make mistakes when posting and go back and edit them... and I double post... whilst you cant delete posts you can edit your posts (as I think you are both aware because it was mentioned during the thread)... If I had been in Odile's position and sent a PM on the open forum by mistake... I would not have posted again and again on the open forum telling everyone that I never meant to post it and that the details were just too sensitive and please would a Mod remove it... I would have hit the edit button there and then and just got rid of the text... and said nothing in the hope that it wasn't noticed...but maybe that's just me? 

The only reason I am posting this now is that I fear some of your comments about how terrified the now departed poster was... could perhaps give some folks a very wrong impression about what was and wasn't said... by all involved in the debate.   And... in order to retain some kind of balance I felt it only fair to put that matter straight... I am sure you would hate for other posters to be confused or misled, no matter how unintentional.

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Rose, try to imagine seeing your personal details on the open forum ..

She thought it was there for all to see !!!

I think Odile got panicked, and didn't even think of editing her post.

I ve been there , a forum can be very very stressful , and yes, she certainly felt threatened.

When you are really stressed, it s not that easy to get so called " humour " .

I know I won't be the only one to miss her.

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[quote user="Frenchie"]try to imagine seeing your personal details on the open forum ..

She thought it was there for all to see !!![/quote]

I think it is worth mentioning again that no personal details were

revealed, made public or available in any way, shape or form.

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[quote user="Will"]There are ways to find people's personal details. I don't know what these ways are, neither do I have any interest in finding out, but I do know they exist. Just as I know freemasons exist but I have no interest in knowing their rituals or becoming one.

I am reminded of a former user of this forum, in its earlier guise. At the time she had made more posts than anybody else. However some other nice forum user didn't agree with her views so put her personal details on the forum - one reason why she is no longer here.

That wasn't the fault of any lack of forum security.


[/quote]

Oh come on Will, that was in pre mod days and as far as I remember the post was deleted as soon as the person responsible got to it. In addition that person went on to post for several years......

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I agree, but that doesn't mean to say it didn't happen.

You missed my point - I was not having a go at the forum, or the moderators, but stating a fact. That is that it is perfectly possible to find out people's personal details and put them on a forum without the forum being insecure. So I was defending you rather than having a dig.

I know enough about forums to know that this one, if properly administered, is indeed secure, but another popular France forum which will remain nameless does use an outdated version of its software, with a less secure database.

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To the case in point, some of you posting now perhaps should remember that there is a report button on all posts. If you were concerned you should have used it. There was only one report and as the person concerned obviously had not understood that security was not at risk no action was taken, esp in the light of that person being informed in the thread by another member about what had actually happened.

Theres a good saying, if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen....

 

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[quote user="Clair"][quote user="Frenchie"]try to imagine seeing your personal details on the open forum ..

She thought it was there for all to see !!![/quote]

I think it is worth mentioning again that no personal details were revealed, made public or available in any way, shape or form.

[/quote]

No, I know Clair, but Odile could see them and thought they were, from what I understood!

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As Will points out, it can indeed be only too easy to find out all about a poster if they are indiscreet about posting personal details on the internet.

I am often amazed and dismayed by people who post all kind of seemingly innocuous personal details on sites (their real names, date of birth, name of spouse or children, occupation etc).

One need only consult an online telephone directory, trade registration directory, or even Google to find out all kinds of further information.  And don't even get me started on Facebook, anyone who leaves their profile as public (rather than friends only) may as well pin their personal diary to their gatepost!

I am not saying that this was the case with person in question, just that people should be careful about what details they choose to give out on public forums.

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[quote user="Frenchie"]

Rose, try to imagine seeing your personal details on the open forum ..

She thought it was there for all to see !!!

[/quote]

Hi Frenchie... I'm not disputing that the joke was maybe not in good taste... but it didn't threaten her life... it showed an IP address and the computer software the reader was using...  of course I can understand that at the time she thought people could have seen that she was using Internet explorer 8 and seen her IP address... and I can imagine at that point... given how high emotions were running... that she was angry and upset... but no names, no addresses, no personal details and nothing to threaten her life... and it was very quickly pointed out that it was not real and not her IP address.

I think it is sad that she has decided to stop posting but I think the debate had two sides, 6 of one and half a dozen of the other... as my mum would say[:D]  It got silly and out of hand as no-one seemed to want to listen or compromise... Odile and Dog were not innocent in this and I think in the end the only thing to do was to close the thread... for everyone's sake.

My only concern really is that with the thread gone, other people looking in, could get to think that actual threats and violence were threatened and that real personal information was disclosed... when clearly this would not be true. This is a good forum with lots of wonderful posters... (you included of course [kiss]) and it would be sad if new posters thought that what happened in that arguement led to threats of violence and abuse... so I thought in the interest of balance I would add my thoughts.

I do hope Odile changes her mind, it was after all a debate where sides didn;t agree... I hope once the dust has settled she may change her mind and pop back and say hello.

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Rose, you know, I don't wear blinkers, I m just trying to imagine what she felt.

 

As she wrote, what really made her panic and FEEL threatened is the sentence " we know where you are" .

She interpreted that as a threat, and as you said, when high emotions were running, it is, in my view, understandable.

I ve been a member of the forum for a while now, I love it, and no new member should feel this is usual here.

If I could write in French I'd be more subtle, sorry.

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[quote user="Cat"]

As Will points out, it can indeed be only too easy to find out all about a poster if they are indiscreet about posting personal details on the internet.

I am often amazed and dismayed by people who post all kind of seemingly innocuous personal details on sites (their real names, date of birth, name of spouse or children, occupation etc).

One need only consult an online telephone directory, trade registration directory, or even Google to find out all kinds of further information.  And don't even get me started on Facebook, anyone who leaves their profile as public (rather than friends only) may as well pin their personal diary to their gatepost!

I am not saying that this was the case with person in question, just that people should be careful about what details they choose to give out on public forums.

[/quote]

Actually these social networking sites are viewed by quite a lot by companies that research peoples job application forms. Its big business now getting prospect employees vetted by such companies. I might be members of one or two because of family but I never put anything up that can point to me. The odd photo of a person wearing knickers or pants on their head while totally drunk is not good viewing when applying for a senior position in a company. Of course its unfair and does not mean that they are not suited to the job and that they are entitled to spend their leisure time however they want but then thats life I guess.

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I think the whole point is this.

Yes Odile saw a post which puported to show her ISP number and location and with the words ""We know where you are""

She allegedly saw this as a threat and complained . Shortly thereafter ,and perhaps a MOD who has access to the thread can confirm exact timings,she was told that this was a joke, that only she could see her details.

I personally up to that point was rather confused because when I saw the post it showed my ISP address etc so I wondered why Odile was getting upset at a post  showing my ISP address.

However after the explaination giver by Jayjay, I believe, I realised that it was a joke.

However Odile continued to complain, even the following day when it had been explained to her and everyone else what the true situation was.

We could continue with this debate about the rights and wrongs of the situation ad infinitum but with the thread being removed I think it should be dropped because we are not going to get anywhere.

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[quote user="Quillan"]

Actually these social networking sites are viewed by quite a lot by companies that research peoples job application forms. Its big business now getting prospect employees vetted by such companies. I might be members of one or two because of family but I never put anything up that can point to me. The odd photo of a person wearing knickers or pants on their head while totally drunk is not good viewing when applying for a senior position in a company. Of course its unfair and does not mean that they are not suited to the job and that they are entitled to spend their leisure time however they want but then thats life I guess.

[/quote]

I think it's more the people who spend all day posting on those sites about how they hate their boss, can't wait to go home, and are planning on throwing a sickie next week.

I've known parents who have been horrified to read their darling offspring's tales on Facebook and similar sites, but then perhaps they shouldn't have looked in the first place [:-))]

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On another French Forum there are a couple of posters who reveal the most intimate and amazing details, not only about themselves but also about family members, ranging from daughters medical problems to their sisters racist views. One could practically write a book about their life from the details revealed.

However what was bizarre was that someone had the temerity to bring up a couple of facts about the person, posted by them the day before, and all hell broke loose, with people accusing the other person  of prying into their life, and revealing personal details.

I could  not understand where they were coming from ,after all if you do not want people to know personal information do not write it on the internet for all to see. [8-)]

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