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Any gay / lesbian couples moved to France?


Shawny
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Me & my partner of 11 years are thinking of selling up and buying in Brittany, ideally to buy a property with the option of running a couple of gites to provide some income, the main purchases to be funded by the sale of UK property.

I am interested in hearing of any experiences that gay / lesbian couples have had in France, either good or bad.

 

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Dear Shawny

We can only speak as we have found here in L'aisne, we moved in two years ago and have had NO homophobic reaction at all from our neighbours or any of the people we have come into contact with. It may be that we have been particularly lucky or may be that even in this very rural part of france, where to be frank we had anticipated that there might be some prejudice, the French people are more tolerant.

Of course there are bigots everywhere, but that is their problem, not ours.

Good luck if you decide to move, leave me a message in my mailbox if you want more information.

Graham & Euwain
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Personally I have never met any gay or lesbian people but two transvestites(completely different I know) owned a bar on the main road to town until 18months ago and they were the subject of ridicule and avoided by locals.I saw one close up and he looked so comical in his skirt and high heels that you can understand why.People here seem very homophobic to me but I think religion has a lot to do with that and the male chauvinist french character and as for racism,don't get me started on that one because that is also prevalent here in Brittany.
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I am sure that how you get treated will depend on how you treat others. Where I work there used to be two gay men. One thought that we all hated him because he was gay. Not so, we hated him because he was untrustworthy, slimy, nasty and kept pushing his sexuality in our faces. However, in his eyes we were homophobic. He didn't seem to notice that we all loved the other gay guy who happened to be a really nice person and was more interested in the fact that we had lots in common rather than the fact that he was different because he was gay. The obnoxious guy also failed to notice that the guy we loved also hated him! I am sure there are bigots around, I am sure it's because they have big problems, but I am equally sure that if you have few problems in England the same will be true in France.

 

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I should have said, not openly gay. I've probably bumped into a few over the years in supermarkets but people hardly go round with it written across their backs. However, I do love that chap who works in the factory in Coronation Street,he makes you want to mother him by the way he speaks. Is that typical or am I treading on dangerous ground asking that.
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Val - I think there are lots of different types of gay people, just as there are with straight. The chap in Coronation Street is great, really camp, and he seems very popular with the gay community (I believe the actor who plays him really is gay). You see people like him in England - or at least around Brighton - but you don't see many people who are that camp in France, apart from our facteur (and I have no idea about his sexuality ).

I think John got it right above. There are people who make such a thing about their inclination, regard it as a burden they have to bear (like the 'only gay in the village' in Little Britain) and others who are just pleasant people.

We've met some charming gay people living in France. Although there are probably some bigots who won't approve, just as there are everywhere, I don't think they have had any real problems. Don't forget that the French gave the words bigot and chauvinist to the English language. Bigot, and Lebigot, are very common names round these parts though I don't think it necessarily reflects their beliefs.

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Shawny, there were a couple of guys, james and phil, who posted here a few times. They are having to sell up and return due to family reasons, but my impression was they had a very positive experience here. You could search (at the top of the page right hand corner) using their names, or their user name was castro (some numbers after it). They have a website, I exchanged a few emails with James via that, and they seem like friendly people who would take the time to respond if you contact them.

My impression is that gay men and lesbians tend to be pretty low profile, apart from in Paris that is. I have found generally here that people 'take' you on who you are, rather than 'what' you are, (although I have been surprised at how openly racism is expressed here compared to uk).

I know that there is a proposed law which proposes to outlaw homophobia which has been strongly contested at its first two readings. Jaques Chirac is strongly supporting it, but some of his own party are of an entirely different view. I believe this is in response to a doubling of (reported) violent incidents last year on gay people. There was certainly some botheration in the form of protests etc about gay marriages here.

My impression generally though is this, from what I have read here in the Band B's and Gites forums above, you will have a  tougher time setting up your proposed business than dealing with negative reactions about your sexuality

tresco

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Hi Shawney and welcome - this is the site that Tresco was referring to:

http://www.leboisdelamotte.com/

We have friends who are running a "pink palace gite complex" in Provence. They have been there for years and are very succesful but finding it very hard work and employing help is sooo difficult (and expensive) in France.

Not at all low-key or tasteful though

good luck with your move.......helen

PS meant to say - may be worth contacting folks on http://www.rainbowgites.com

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To be honest Shawny, I would think, going by other couples we know and without putting too much of an emphasis on it all, you would have a pretty healthy niche market with your intended ideas.

Some of the best places we have stayed in or indeed know about, are run by similar couples. So why not go for it and as Tresco said, your only obstacle will be the French beaurocracy. I would say that you should probably stick to known chic tourist areas, such as the Dordogne, parts of Brittany, Languedoc and Provence. Maybe others know other parts which have plenty of demand ?

 

 

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Tresco, you beat me to it!   I even had a Grauniad link ready about the new legislation, so here it is anyway:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/france/story/0,11882,1379536,00.html

I'd say that being gay will be regarded as being a whole lot better than being vegetarian, so you'll be okay.     

I have been told by a younger (female) friend that homosexuality is absolutely pas normal, which did surprise me, but as has been said about racism, there's often a certain - ahem - "candidness" to be found in France, and it can be disconcerting for the unwary.  And you do get uneducated bogits everywhere, but bof to them, I say.

Pink TV was unveiled with great unveilery a few months back, Queers was on prime-time TV, it all seems pretty normal really.   Go for it!  

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Many thanks for all the responses & messages.

As I said, I am interested in the real experiences of gay couples who have moved to France and the issues that they have encountered.

Neither of us are camp or transvestites (which has nothing to do with homosexuality and is an issue regarding gender identity - but I am not  here to preach) and I am interested in experiences rather than anecdotes of unrealistic stereotypes portrayed by the media, lets fact it they wouldn't show a gay couple arguing about what to cook for dinner as it doesn't make good telly!

Anyway, we are aiming to buy in Brittany as it is close to ferries etc and from all the info seems a nice area to visit, we have booked into a gite in June this year with some friends and may also go over prior to this to look at properties.

Our aim would be to buy properties in cash and then use the income from a couple of gites to live off, basing our calculations on a average of 6 months rental at an average of £300 per week for a 1 bedroom / 2 person Gite. We would target the gay community but not exclusively.

Considering the comments here, is this a reasonable expectation or would others advise that more gites are required? I will post this question in the Gite forum.

Our other alternative source of income is to sign up with agencies on South coast of UK as I am a business analyst currently working from home and my partner is a chartered accountant, does anyone do this currently?

Anyway, I seem to have sparked a lively debate, so any further responses are most welcome.

CHeers

SHawn

 

 

 

 

 

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Hi Shawney and welcome,

Yes, our particular species (!) are all well and alive here in the depths of rural France!  In our small corner of the Dordogne we know 3 other lesbian couples and more gay men than I care to count, and you can't get more "out in the sticks" than we are. Even our local friendly tax officer is a dyke!

We were warned that we might have a difficult time of it when we first moved here but I'm glad to say this hasn't been the case. Most of the time I forget that people may even perceive us as "different" as we are so boring and ordinary. We've met nothing but consideration and kindness & we are accepted as a couple when we go along to village events, although I'll be honest and say we would never upset the apple cart by dancing with each other at the monthly danses etc. We don't make an issue out of our sexuality and hence no-one else seems to either - I think, to many, we are just the two daft girls who live up on the hill with waaaaaaaaaaay too many animals.

 

 

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Shawny, with reference what SB pointed out about shows on telly etc, and your response to that (?), the fact is, that France is a little bit further back down the track than the UK in terms of positive (or any) representation of 'minority' groups, so these things are noteworthy to some of us. We only got our first black newsreader about 6 months ago, with much comment in the press, and some on the forum here. It's a funny old place (France).

tresco

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[quote]Shawny, there were a couple of guys, james and phil, who posted here a few times. They are having to sell up and return due to family reasons, but my impression was they had a very positive experience...[/quote]

I am sorry to hear about "leboisdelamotte" couple.  I exchanged some interesting emails with them about top soil, of all things, thier excess top soil in return for my lovely cailloux!  I tried to look at their website the other day and it would not load and will not today so I wonder if they've shut it down?  A great shame.  I do hope everything turns out well for them.

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We have two French gays living just down the hill from us.  In our village of 170 inhabitants most are very macho farmers who have never lived anywhere else and think that a trip to Caen (50 kms) away is like visiting the other side of the world.  They do find the gay couple a novelty and take delight in nicknaming them Thierry and Thierette (both are called Thierry) and wondering just what exactly they do get up to.  One of my neighbours told me that "two men live in that house, one goes to work and the other one stays at home and makes the house nice ...... if you know what I mean".  But I have heard no spiteful or nasty comments about them, everyone just seems to find them a bit of a curiosity and would love the opportunity to meet them, but they do keep themselves very much to themselves.  Based on this reaction in a VERY rural and insular village, and what others in rural locations have already told you, I really don't think you will have any problems.

Just one point on the Gite idea.  Six full months bookings per year is quite optimistic.  From our experience as a gite in Normandy during 2001 and 2002 (near to ports and getting all year round bookings) I think 4 to 5 months per gite is more realistic.

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Shawny,before you go away with a warm rosy glow,just bare in mind the anti brit feeling there is in the part of france you hope to live in,in my be it limited time in northern france the local kids used to enjoy nothing better on a weekend than driving round hotels where they knew  most of the occupants were brits and reving their nosey moped at 2oclock inthe morning,these are the same kids who knock down headstones of the british soldiers who fell in the two world wars,as you do not say if you will be living openly as two males having a sexual relations for all the world to see or in this case all the french to see,just beware that things may not be the same as the UK.
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I have never read such utter crap, you really do talk some b*******.

Anti-Brit, for what it's worth and if that is what you want to call it, where it exists, is all over France, it is not solely in the north or south. Mopeds keeping people awake, well that's a classic, we have been hearing moped noises wherever we have lived in France and 99% of them nowhere near hotels full of Brits. For someone who lives near the Med, I am surprised that you haven't noticed the thousands and thousands of gays that arrive every summer and anything untoward rarely happens, well it is no different in the part of Brittany that Shawn is looking at.

Take no notice Shawney, he doesn't even live in the part of the country you are thinking about or have any true knowledge of it, so picks up everything from the gutter press. I am sure you have come across many predictable people like him for many years. Have no fear the French have a much more mature outlook on life than outcast.

 

 

 

 

 

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Miki,what was all the postings last year about anti-brit sentiment in the north western part of france about then?like you posed earlier on house prices where the local french have been priced out of the housing market due to brits inflating the house prices out of the reach of them,it may be bad for your business to have it brought up again but it is true as well you know.
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Hi

I think this is no different to the situation in UK.

Most urban areas that are artistic & pleasant to live accept gays without thinking. Small villages are more reticent.

Just as Brighton is a popular area for gays, so is South of France.

Languedoc is very gay accepting, and Montpellier is seen as the gay Brighton.

To put this into perspective google.com lists 469,000 references for "gay clubs in france".

I think clicking on some of the links in this google search will find gay friendly bars, clubs, cafes, hotels, restaurants near to all of us.

Bonne chance

Peter

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lol. now this is what i call a funny tread. That aside i have never seen any real anti-gay attitude in France, rural or not. The Pink Pound/Euro is going from strengh to strengh, so much so that main stream company's are now starting to cash in on it, so if you open a Gite, you are sure to be on to a winner, if you target market it ( pink paper etc).

Never seen/ meet any gay people, lol. now that brightened up a drab cold day.

Re extra work. You could always join a temp agency on the south coast for the winter months. Maybe even rent a little flat there and just live and work in France during the summer months.

Good Luck.

Regards,

Richard
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Mrphh,south of france as opposed to brighton,brighton as a coast of what 5 miles,south of france ....everyone loves the south of france for different reasons why should that not included same sex couples,as you appear to be the font of all things to do with southern france what percentage of all holiday makers that come down here are gay?
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oh gdo love us and help us, he's a hoot isn't he, outcast???'dontchajustluvhim, or was that hate him, ???? Hard to say........ Whatever, as I intimated, and miki confirmed, it's the beurocracy* that'll get ya, long before the local, or not so local crackers do.

Have a go, others do, (and i have sent my pm about the number crunching thing.

*is that word spelt rite, spell check says yes, but I don't trust it.

tresco

post edited by me.

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