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Would like to meet


johnjones
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How many singles are there who use this forum and would like to meet like minded people with a love of France ??

 Perhaps forum admin could create a WLTM section.  I can't be the only one !!!

Moved by moderator to a section where post is more likely to be seen by others.

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We are in a pretty rural piece of France, and know pleanty of single people, both British and French. Just as anywhere, some seem to get together easily, and for others it causes big problems. One very brave lady even joined a French dating agency, despite the fact that she spoke little French at the start of the process (what a great way to learn though).

But the idea originaly mentioned certainly does look worth trying, if it's feasible for a forum like this.

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This is a really good idea. There must be quite a few of us who find ourselves alone here because of widowhood or divorce - as well as those who have moved out on their own. Most of my friends here are couples or families (French, British and other nationalities) and it can sometimes feel somewhat isolating to be the only single adult at a gathering.  

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The only reason I haven't gone ahead and bought anywhere yet is because I'm on my own.  I'd love to hear from others who have done it and their experiences.  This is a really informative website and forum so adding the ability to 'talk' to others on their own would be the icing on the cake. 

Icebird

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This looks like a 'boys only' discussion! I'm really quite surprised, I just assumed it would be less problematic for you.

I bought a house in the Var, just outside a wine-growing village. It's rural yet within 5 minutes drive or a 40 minute walk along the back roads to the village. What I hadn't anticipated was that not long after I arrived, the women wanted to know where my husband was. Well, said I: 'he's gone'. I didn't want to go into the gory details just then but what I hadn't reckoned on was the determination to get me fixed up ... it was hilarious when I finally figured out what was going on. I seemed to be a 'projet'.

I made assumptions: during the day it's fine to sit in a cafe, but in the evening, in a rural community, women dining alone just isn't done. Everyone has been lovely and I think they've all been very kind in wanting to see me 'settled'. Joining things - like rambling, cycling, tennis clubs, etc probably is a good thing to do. Like anywhere, it all depends on how interested you are in the community and how much you want to be involved. It takes time.

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[quote]Have you got a house in France John? and if so, whereabouts? I got great news today! Chuck[/quote]

Yes, I do have a house, in Normandy.  However live in the UK at present due to family and work committments.  The reason for my post is simple though, all the single women that I have met in the UK  to date don't seem to share my passion for France.  I might be wrong but there must be a lot of like minded singles who use this forum.  JJ

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This looks like a 'boys only' discussion! I'm really quite surprised, I just assumed it would be less problematic for you.

It had always been our intention to move to France but my wife's death made me reappraise my intention. It is not easy to be a single man - make that person - after decades of marriage in any culture, but I do think that the social structures which women inhabit are more supportive than those of men. I do not see the point of wasting hours in a smoke-filled pub or cafe just to indulge in pointless conversation with groups of crypto-fascists. I have found that once on your own it is not easy to establish satisfying new social ties. Having said that I am very active in community affairs in my English village and have many aquaintances though fewer that I would count as friends.

Furryknickers says:

I think alot of folk on here don't want to admit that they are single or alone, as they may feel there is a stigma attached to being single or alone.

It isn't the single people who think this but the couples who who treat singles as nearly invisible. When my wife was alive we were invited to dinner parties and other social events. These invitatations have almost completely dried up. Being widowed is a great stigma in other people's eyes.

I think that the original by johnjones deserves consideration.

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the couples who who treat singles as nearly invisible

I've seen this often enough in certain British expat communities around the world (not so far in France, I hasten to add) where single women are very commonly overlooked.  I've often suspected - though it's so ridiculous it's almost embarrassing to articulate - that it was due to married women generally deciding guest lists for dinner parties and fearing "competition" from un-attached females.  This is absurd for a whole host of reasons not least of which is that some unhappily married women are just as predatory as their single sisters.  However, I never imagined that widowed men in Britain today could feel socially isolated and personally find this tragic.

There was a very interesting thread a couple of years back where ladies on the Forum discussed whether they would stay on in France if/when their partner died.  Odd that we didn't consider at the time that many of our concerns could apply equally to men.

Margaret

 

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It's Jan again!

You're right about women having nuturing networks but being a woman in a rural French community is very difficult. You all know that village life is very orchestrated, gossipy and finely-tuned to nuances. In France it is also very patriarchal so the women friends I do have are great during the day but coupledom does take over in the evening.

However, having said that, and reminded by Margaret's reply below, when I had a rather large dinner party, I invited people I thought would enjoy each other's company - whether they were married or not. What I  hadn't reckoned on was a major predator in disguise! My cute seemingly adoringly happily married neighbour, on her own as her husband was away, making a beeline for my 'friend' [who happened to be very, very cute and very, very gay!]. What a hilarious evening that turned out to be.

So perhaps it is a good idea for LF to set up another forum. What fun!

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Do you think this extends to those in their 30's?  Or is it for the 'been there done that' group.  (No offence meant, but I have a feeling I am a rare sort here!)

My profile name says it all.  WLTM a man of a similar age who has a love of France.  Where are they all? 

I too have done the internet dating thing and found that men on there from the UK seemed scared of single women who have made a move like this.  Generally UK men seemed perplexed by women who do love adventure, travel and experiencing something new.

Someone prove me wrong please!

YF&Single

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An interesting post!

I'm a single 30's guy about to move to my house in france (once UK sale is completed) and would appreciate the chance to speak to others who have done/are doing the same thing. I'm sure a move like this and integration with new people is easier for couples!

As for meeting someone...well, i guess that's really hoping for too much!

YF&Single - i have sent you PM.

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[quote]I have now created a sperate forum for members looking to meet like minded people. Of course this doesn't have to be just for personal relationships/friendships, the forum can be used for people look...[/quote]

Thats  good but whats it called.  I know I fell off a ladder at the weekend but I can't find it ......jj
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