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I'm going to light the blue touch paper and retire immediately!

Is it me, or is there anyone else out there who finds some of the recent threads somewhat tiresome, if not offensive to each other's posts? Anyone arriving new to this forum might wonder what on earth is going on here.

Just a thought: could the Moderator(s), one of whom has already rapped knuckles, either zap the thread, or better still, introduce a new column called the 'Bowlocks Rating'?  If the latter, then with a tick in that column, we could all ignore it.

Having said that, I still find myself tuning in to the latest blast of vitriol !! .  

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You are not alone.   I am fairly recent too, so maybe this kind of thing went on in the past and I missed it, but some of the posts in the last month or so have been very tiresome indeed.   I don't have a problem with vitriol, but some of the recent stuff is just plain silly........
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Ian Horn

I couldn't agree more.  You have just taken the words out of my mouth.   I don't post a great deal on here, but I always love to read the other posts.  Its great to share other peoples experiences of France and the way of life.  However I feel the forum is turning into a chat room, not the informative, inspiring source of information I once found.  Sure its good to make friends and share some banter.  Hefty debates are also healthy, but its become a bit of a joke.

So I will share the lighting ceremony with you if I may.

Dotty

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Well i don't know how long any of you have been here. Stangely I was discussing this today and revealed I was a lurker for a year before I posted.

There was plenty of info, which was what I was looking for.  I mainly looked in sections, and not for instance,  the postbag, because it was general chat.

When I did I saw a fair range of threads, some which started seriously and ended in chaos, either humerous or argumentative; others which started as light hearted and ended up either way again.

I do wish people would be more specific when they make 'complaints' like this. Someone started a thread recently that was deemed by many as provocative, but that thread, which I was unaware of for the first few pages of comments made me think very seriously about my behaviour and contribution to this forum. That thread pretty much turned out chaotic, warnings were given, swords were crossed, and it all took a long time, but in the end I got a lot out of it. (I wasn't doing the battling I don't think).

If I was not getting something out of it I would have changed to a different thread.

Things go round, they pan out, they get going then they sometimes die the death. It is part of the hurly burly of forum life as I have come to experience it.

If, on the otherhand, you are referring to lets say, people like me, then just tell me what it is, I don't se why it has to be so vague.

There is the forum, and a pm system to help sort these things out. Personally, I think these things sort themselves out, in the vast majority of cases, but I know many people, disagree with me. I disagree with myself sometimes.

 

 

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For me there are different types of thread, more serious discussions/debates and more light hearted threads. Different things appeal to different people. What I find disappointing is where there is a more serious debate going on and you get people coming in, not interested in adding anything to the discussion but just clogging it up with personal banter and abuse. I was beginning to think this had become less of an issue (maybe following the “Lourdes Miracles” and a few other discussions – but I now see that after 7 pages of sensible debate, people debating and discussing topics in a civilised manner, even this has now degenerated into inter-personal banter again). Seems yesterday threads have all gone to pieces again. For me there seems little point is posting at the moment as any points raised will soon be lost in the “Oh yes you did”, “Oh no you didn’t” “what a wally”, etc..

I have no objection to the light hearted threads. Don’t tend to get involved in them myself but that does not mean I find anything wrong with them. I also have no issues with threads going “off-topic” – which is what happens in face to face discussions.

In the less serious threads people can slag each other off as much as they like as far as I’m concerned – says more about their personalities and nature than anything else. I just wish they would stop buggering-up a sensible ongoing discussion with childish pantomime.

Maybe an offshoot forum area of the Postbag (maybe called the playground – where the bullies can pick on each other and the rest of us can just stay out of the way).

Ian

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Just to add and sorry if this crosses with another post. I do agree that for a newbie arriving here there are things that go on that are strange.

It's one of the reasons I didn't join in for a year (I find this hard to believe myself, but I know it's true).

I tried to get to 'know' people through reading their posts over a period of time, posts on lot's of different topics.

 

 

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[quote user="Dotty0"]

Ian Horn

I couldn't agree more.  .........  However I feel the forum is turning into a chat room, not the informative, inspiring source of information I once found.  Sure its good to make friends and share some banter.  Hefty debates are also healthy, but its become a bit of a joke.

Dotty[/quote]

"BLIAR'S UK: A Sh*t heap! Everything for those that won't, or don't. Nothing for those that do, and as for justice? Forget it.

Couldn't  agree more.  Though doesn't help with the original post.  Sorry

Dotty

Wonder what a newbie reading that would think?  Why does the phrase people and glasshouses come to mind[:^)].

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As far as vitriolic personal comments go, I tend to agree with you and hope that I have not been an offender. I must plead guilty on the subject of hefty debates; if you'd met me you might describe me as a hefty debater ( if you were being polite).

You might not have noticed, but the subject of France's future is being demonstrated about on the streets at present and it seems natural to me that the debate spills over onto a forum like this. Many of us have tried to draw parallels (from both sides) from our experience of politics in the UK and that seems normal to me as well. These matters are directly relevant to France and its way of life in a way that some of our more mundane concerns such as shopping and renovation are not. (Fascinating as these often are.)

I post and read on another messageboard related to a medical condition and things I have learnt there have been literally lifesaving. However, you are not allowed to post things that are not directly relevant to the condition, no conflict is allowed and everything is so saccharine sweet ( yes, it is based in America), that you often feel that you have watched too many episodes of The Waltons! It would be a sad day if this forum were to become like that.

You don't have to read all the threads; I don't think I've ever looked at the swimming pools section. Perhaps they hurl abuse at each other all the time!

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Do you know when you go out with other couples and one couple doesn't

have a good time and they say it "wasn't much fun last night". You look

back and think, well whatever did they do to make it a good night and

the answer is........ zilch. you have to put something in as well and

not just grumble that it's not much fun an di don't like this or

that.......Look inwardly and ask what you could be doing to improve

things or as they say,  you don't get sod all out if you don't put

bugger all in......We can all jib at wahat is happening but sensible

money stay out of things that they don't get enjoyment from.

Maybe an offshoot forum area of the Postbag (maybe called the playground

– where the bullies can pick on each other and the rest of us can

just stay out of the way).

Ian

One can stay out of the way of any thread, whatever it might be called

and still people would go in, simply to complain about what is being

posted and remember one thing,  people in glass houses etc

Don't see any bullies, just people who need more persuading that they are perhaps not correct [;)]

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It's hard for people to lurk for a while if the desperately need advice, and some people find the forum specifically to ask a question they need the answer to, but lurking has the advantage that you get to know the forums 'flavour'. Each forum has a different sort of feel. Here we try and have a fair mix of threads (well, we don't try, they just happen) and as you say you can just ignore those that are not your cup of tea.

However, every now and then people come along and show what I would term a lack of regard for the set up here and other forum members. Like Deimos I find it frustrating to have worthwhile discussion or debate interrupted by inane comments. Whats more as a mod it presents a problem, because whatever you do (leave it or remove it) causes more comment and disruption to the topic.

The only thing that I can say (its late and I seem to have had my mod hat on a lot tonight) is that often, but not always, people settle down - or should that be in ? For example I remember that Miki was argued with up hill and down dale, when he first joined....now look ! But the thing to do is to try not to get personal, argue the point but try not to insult the person who holds a different opinion.

Don't forget you can always PM the mods, even if its not an official complaint or its something you  feel uneasy about.

I understand fully why this thread was started, but I suspect it comes under the term forum 'navel watching'. Its far more enjoyable to be debating France and all its facets even if our opinions vary wildly

and its a good night from her[|-)]

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Maybe an offshoot forum area of the Postbag (maybe called the playground – where the bullies can pick on each other and the rest of us can just stay out of the way).

That is another element altogether. In fact it's two.

If two people with a gazillion posts are battling it out, that's one thing.

Someone taking hostile swipes at people who appear to be 'new' is quite another.

I don't think a playground is the answer to either problem personally. Some of you will have visited other forums. I swear in the last 4 months I have come to regard this forum as more friendly and welcoming than I ever did before, and I thought it was OK back in the day, despite cowering from the screen on occasion

Seriously though. If someone has a problem with me, pm me. I don't bite. [6] Mostly.

Edit; Nor do I ever argue with someone who appears to be new, unless they are blatant bigots. (and I mean blatant)

 

 

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Ron

Havin reread your post I have also noted you have edited the following.

"BLIAR'S UK: A Sh*t heap! Everything for those that won't, or don't. Nothing for those that do, and as for justice? Forget it.

If you had included the first part of the post it would have read quite differently.

Dotty

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Dotty

Sorry not having a particular pop at you, but I did find your posts ironic.  The point I was trying to make was that you posted that the Forum was becoming a chatroom, bemoaning the lack of the old informative threads and then you replied to a UK related political rant by a thatcherite ( don't you just love 'em, mostly old retired boys in blue still spending the overtime they made from the miners strike)  and compounded it by saying that your post did not help with the original post.[*-)]

Hence the comment about glasshouses,  you cannot have it both ways can you ?  The old informative threads are still there, but at the moment we seem to be dividing up into anti and pro-maggie camps. not quite sure what that has to do with living in France though, except the way for France not to go!! 

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I am happy to say how much I agreed with your post Madam Mod.

Most of my early days spent arguing (or rather debating ) was trying to

wake people up from their slumber, that all was not as it seemed in

France. I had a few allies but nothing like the number that agree now

that all is not well in LBF, education, health, work prospects, that

all was so lovely  in towns with no drugs and no drink problems.

The list was endless but there were folks on here (before me as well)

that knew this but slowly and surely, people can see that it was not

just to be contraversial (although a sensible amount is good for a

forum) but to genuinely offer a side of France that I couldn't believe

others could not see. Still people arrive in their thousands believing

France is the dream utopia they have read about and seen on T.V.

By me and others putting forward our side, hopefully then, they will

have no shocks to shatter their comfy little dream, no one wants to do

it cruelly but being offered the truth with facts cannot be such a bad

thing, even if we do get told "go home then you *****"

How many members have looked back and see exactly what was being said

was not b*****s but was in fact quite true. I know when I first came, I

had no other Brits to guide me (wrongly or rightly, the former being

more the norm eh !) nor as TU often says, no forum to assist in

settling in either.

So it wasn't about just settling down Gay, it was trying to knock

people off their oh so comfy but unreal life in a France that I had

long known to be demi obsolete but was finding it tough to get many to

believe all was not well. In fact TU and I, in my early days spent more

time arguing, sorry debating Egg as a good card rather than later

agreeing on how France really was for many of us. Then when SB came

along ( probably before me ?) and showed us how her area was, then more

people came in and said, oh yes, our place is like that, our school is

just like that.

Remember that young man who teached here in France, he was an angry lad

at first then saw that even sitting in the centre of the the system, he

was defending it at first but came to the belief that it could and

should be so much better. Nice now to read Mistral and getting the

facts about her school and how it works for her

I understand fully why this thread was started, but I suspect it comes

under the term forum 'navel watching'.

Gay, my thoughts entirely..............

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You lot are so quick posting - this bit was in reply to Tresco

Wouldn't they have read the first part of the post though ? And anyway they could answer (usually) if they didn't agree.

If I knew where it was from I would look at it myself, but I don't and its off topic, down a road I suggest we don't travel, thanks all the same.

Miki, Thinking about it a bit more the difference between you and the current situation is that you were talking about France and discussing, debating, advicing etc - I believe the current situation is rathe different.

 

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[quote user="Russethouse"]

Wouldn't they have read the first part of the post though ? And anyway they could answer (usually) if they didn't agree.

If I knew where it was from I would look at it myself, but I don't

and its off topic, down a road I suggest we don't travel, thanks all

the same.

[/quote]

Eh ? You been sneaking that Bretagne scotch in to your Ovaltine

tonight, Gay ? Have to take that back now as Gay has edited her post. So of course it was just Ovaltine then Gay !!

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Dotty. I'm really sorry.

I'm going to delete that post, and I'll explain to you by pm the lines I was thinking on either by pm, or on the thread, as you wish.

It was rash of me to pick up on it, as it had already come from a different thread. Is that OK with you?

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[quote user="Miki"]Maybe an offshoot forum area of the Postbag (maybe called the playground

– where the bullies can pick on each other and the rest of us can

just stay out of the way).

Ian

One can stay out of the way of any thread, whatever it might be called

and still people would go in, simply to complain about what is being

posted and remember one thing, people in glass houses etc

Don't see any bullies, just people who need more persuading that they are perhaps not correct [;)]

[/quote]

My point was that if you are participating in a serious thread and people start posting daft personal banter and trading insults it is harder to “stay out of the way”. Of course one is not obliged to even visit the forum, let alone look at any threads – but I don’t think that is the point of the forum. However, its when people decide to destroy an interesting ongoing discussion with their irrelevant posts that add nothing, often insult or criticize others, start name calling, etc. that I think is so poor and discourteous. To make things clearer about what I meant I did actually give an example if you care to have a look.

Ian

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Ron

Really sorry to put you straight but I haven't posted on a UK political related thread.  My post was to the thread 'Visting the UK' where some poor person had their car clamped.  Someone else made a comment sure, and I agreed and yes it didn't help with the original post.  However, surely threads as well as conversation go 'off topic' its human nature.  I'm not saying it has to be all one way or the other, is that what it sounded as though I said?  It really wasn't meant to.

Dotty 

 

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[quote user="Russethouse"]

You lot are so quick posting - this bit was in reply to Tresco

Wouldn't they have read the first part of the post though ? And anyway they could answer (usually) if they didn't agree.

[/quote]

Too quick for me.

What you say is correct Gay.

I don't know whether dotty is still here. Which leaves me wondering what to do about that daft post. I blame Ron Avery

Only Joking Ron! My hands are up!

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