Goodbye

[hastobe]

[quote user="Tresco"][quote user="JJ"]

Sorry folks, but I am going to be tad controversial here. [/quote]

Not to mention a bit economical with the truth.

[quote user="JJ"] Some

time ago I put a post asking about tax incentives for

installing renewable energy, I got some very helpful advice and

info from other forum members.

But TU's post will stay with me until I go to my

grave. My aviator is a picture of my very nice pool, which is there for

my gite business.

TU's post was to slag me off for having a luxury pool and asking about tax breaks.

Whilst I accept that she may have helped a lot

of people out over time, the one time she replied to my post asking for

advice was nothing more than vitriolic and offensive.

[/quote]

This is the complete text of the message you refer to.

"JJ If that is your swimming pool I hope

that you are rather kidding about the 'grant' thing.  Some of us

have to pay for our own stuff and cannot afford luxory swimming pools.

And many french people can't even afford to buy anywhere, this is just

the sort of thing that really really winds me up......... and I feel

pretty sure that it would wind many french people up too". (TU)

 Your description of her reply ais 'vitriolic and offensive' is a huge exaggeration.

[/quote]

Its the first time I have read the quote and tbh - it does sound like

sour grapes to me.  Having said that - if the grant being

discussed is a means tested one based on the applicants wealth

and not a simple incentive to encourage businesses to be

environmentally friendly then TU's comment was probably relevant - if

not very tactfully put.

Kathie

[Dick Smith]

"Why do people post such nasty remarks in someones absence?"

Because they can't answer!

I know, the question was rhetorical. But it is amazing, isn't it? We saw a lot of that a while back, didn't we?

[Miki]

[quote]

Why do people post such nasty remarks in someones absence [/quote]

Dunno, I am usually the poor sod who is absent [:)] but it is a liberty

that should warrant one having to live in the Aude, that'll

learn 'em...whoops he already does !! Still he says he has all those

lovely photos to look at nice places in France whilst there [:D]

[quote] I know, the question was rhetorical. But it is amazing, isn't it? We saw a lot of that a while back, didn't we?[/quote]

Where was I when all this went on then  [;-)]

[Dick Smith]

You were detained at Her Majesty's pleasure.

Allegedly.

M'lud.

[Missy]

JJ...?...

'My aviator is a picture of my very nice pool'

Last time I saw an aviator, he was happy flying around and as a way of relaxing, he was having a dip in the pool at the hotel before his next flight....

Indeed you have a very nice pool, lovely picture which you use as an avatar....

Sorry pedantic semantics......

[Miki]

[quote user="Dick Smith"]You were detained at Her Majesty's pleasure.[/quote]

So Eslier really is HRH Elsie then. Funny way of getting pleasure, I must say [:(]

My Forum and I.............................[:)]

[steve]

being a relatively new member to this forum, i still think that i have learned more on here than in the last 3 years trying to read up on issues about living in france.

most of the information given is based on other members experiences, surely that has to be what most people are looking for.

most of the feedback i have recieved has been worthwhile and educational. my questions answered and something else i have learned, then again some of the replies i have recieved have been a complete waste of time and more of what seems like a personal insult to what i may have asked. must admit though nothing bad from teameup, but i can see no reason why anybody who has suffered a backlash shouldnt state their opinion. it is after all the natural thing to do. i had a couple of replies to posts only to think, why bother you are only insulting me, so surely if teameup wants to leave then there has to be people that have been on the recieving end of derogatory remarks then they will see her on her way, surely we all want a pleasent reply to our posts and not a kick in the teeth .

basically if someone doesnt have anything good to say in reply to someones post, why bother, all it does is wind people up. if a helpful reply is given then it is appreciated, i know that all the good advice i have been given has very much appreciated and i do thank everybody.

end result is when someone announces they are going to leave sure the people that have been aggravated by them are going to add their opinions and they then get slated by others is this what this place is really about ? i dont think so. it would a much better place if posts were kept on track, although the humorous side is very much needed and does add  to the interest.

[Catalpa]

I really rate TeamedUp and I do believe she – and people like her – are the lifeblood of any forum of this type. TU has more experience of life in France than most of us will ever have. Or perhaps even will want to have. But... 

[quote user="hastobe"] 
Its the first time I have read the quote and tbh - it does sound like sour grapes to me.  Having said that - if the grant being discussed is a means tested one based on the applicants wealth and not a simple incentive to encourage businesses to be environmentally friendly then TU's comment was probably relevant - if not very tactfully put.
[/quote]

I have to support JJ. I did see that exchange at the time and I did roll my eyes and muse briefly on how overt displays of probably admirable socialist instincts will work for TU in the UK on her return. But of course, views and direct comments like that are part of what we like about TU even if we disagree with her - and in this instance I did. 

These grants are available to French residents to bring down – to slightly more realistic levels - the cost of installing renewable energy systems. This is a good thing. They’re a carrot offered in an attempt to begin to solve – admittedly in a small way for now – the energy problems that are visible on the horizon. The grants are not means tested. Nor, for goodness sake, should they be. And yes, we'll be in receipt of one next year because we've spent a silly amount of money this year installing a condensing boiler, solar panels, 6000 litre water recuperation system which will flush the loos, irrigate the veg plot, etc.

 

And finally this evening [:)]

KatieKK, if I interpret your post correctly, you are saying that we are talking - in a very few instances negatively - about TU in her absence? If so: no, we are not. TU has not been banned. She is perfectly capable of viewing these posts and, if she so chooses, responding for herself.

[Tresco]

I just want to say this. If a grant is available to anyone, then fair enough. I suspect TU, if she was here, would disagree with me about that. TU and I don't see eye to eye on these matters, but I stand by what I said before about her, which, for anyone looking in to just this page, was wholly positive.

What I wanted to do by quoting the post of Tu's' that JJ referred to, was to show that it was not 'vitriolic' or 'insulting', it was just one person expressing her view, in measured terms, not 'vitriolic' ones.

If JJ will take that comment to his or her grave, as he/she claimed they would, then jj has a pretty low threshold as far as criticism or questioning goes.

Fair enough, JJ but don't come it with the spurious accusations of being 'vitriolic' when someone like me is around to pull the post that you may have thought no one remembered, or could find.

[chris pp]

I miss TU being here, nothing to do with always agreeing with her, but always worthwhile and food for thought.

That's all, Chris

[Patf]

TeamedUp - you have really upset me ( I'm sure you're still reading

this. ) You mean to say you're leaving because the rest of us give duff

advice? On my part, I do try my best,and I'm sure the others do too. Perhaps you would stay if we all

shut up and left the field to you? Or if the moderators vetted the

accuracy of all advice given? No, I'm very hurt. Anyway I expect you

will come back. You did last time. But if not, our loss will be Middlesborough's/Consett's/Redcar's gain. Pat.

[zeb]

Oh no, TU, you can't go!!

I need to know urgently how to thicken my cream.........

(and I'm sure to have many other culinary queries).

zebxxx

[Iceni]

I don't always agree with TU and I am sure that she does not always agree with me. But if she really does not want to participate  further then I wish her well in her new role as Greta Garbo.

Her comments on grants going to apparently rich people surprised me (a cynical person such as I might read it as a case of sour grapes which is a view I would not have attributed to TU) but if any govt is stupid enough to throw tax payers money around without means testing then I do not blame anyone for trying to gain in the redistribution of wealth. Surely this is what socialists want ?

John

not

[Debra]

[quote user="Patf"]You did last time. But if not, our loss will be Middlesborough's/Consett's/Redcar's gain. Pat.
[/quote]Is TU really from one of those areas or are those the only one's you know in the North East???

TU - sorry to hear you're leaving/have left, but if you are moving back to the North East, can we meet up for a coffee some time so I can pick your brains in person??!!

[andyh4]

I think that's where she is planning to move to Debra, and if she thought parts of France were a bit deprived wait till she gets to the Boro.  Ok it is better than 20 years ago, but the old saying is probably still appropriate:

 

Redcar is at the mouth of the Tees and is the ****hole of the world and Middlesbrough is 8 miles up it.

(and yes I did once live there).

 

 

[Fay]

Despite what the joining date says below Pyewacket my avatar (despite the size of those ears she can't fly and is therefore not an aviator), I have been part of the forum for so long that I remember the last time TeamedUp left us. I was sorry to lose her then and I'm just as sorry now (more so, if anything), and can only hope that she returns to the fold yet again in due course.

[Kitty]

I can understand what JJ said about taking a comment 'to the grave'.  I'm relatively new to this forum and have enjoyed being here, especially for the useful information that I've picked up about snakes, registering cars etc etc.

However, I did have one post which referred to me that I found offensive but I didn't reply to it or comment on it.  A few weeks have passed since and I still think about it, even though the sender probably has no idea of the unsettling impact it had on me.

In the days of snail mail, my mother always said that you should put aside for 24 hours an 'iffy' letter that you were going to send to someone and that, after that time period, if it still felt right, you could then send it.

The trouble with emails and this forum, things can be sent in haste.  I wonder if the 24 hour rule should still apply?  I tested this and wrote this offline and am now posting it 24 hours later.  It still feels right!

[ali-cat]

Good for you Cathy.  I've had comments that have cut pretty deep, as well..  If you are anything like me, it's very hard not to take things to heart & just forget about them. 

[Miki]

I have been asked to post this message from  TU. I fear that sadly

she will not be coming back.  I won't comment but will simply post

it.

Hello

I found it a little odd that some folks on the board didn't know

why I was leaving. If ever I am unhappy, I move on, and that is what I have

done.

As you know I was not well suited when the mods were introduced

and until the point when Will left I could 'live' with the way things were being

run.

Funny thing is that I had posted yesterday for the first time

proper, in at least a couple of months. But as I worked my way down the board I

found yet another post, quite inocuous, had been locked and I was sure that

another post that was banal had been deleted too. It was just the last straw.

You know me, I am dead straight. I know France, the french and things

french pretty well, the good, the bad, the ugly and as I told someone today, the

lovely too. Since I have been a woman I have never been fluffy or inclined to

rose coloured specs. I just look at the world as it is and how I find it and I

râle when things don't suit too.

So how can someone like me post in such

an environment where there seems to be a scorched earth policy. Posting after

all is a sort of leisure activity for me and I am not spending my free time tip

toeing around measuring each mot and worrying about whether my posts will be

locked or deleted or I am banned. Just the idea was making me unhappy and so I

made a choice and have left, spurred on by 'nothing' being censured

yesterday.

I won't be back, but am hoping to keep in touch with some of

you though, leaving, I hope, won't mean that I'll lose contact completely. I

have taken LF off my favourite list and have logged off too, in this case it is

'no going back' for me. Anyway I'd still like to hear a bit of gossip perhaps or

anything that I should know about pertinent to french life from time to

time.

I have written to James Parfitt and had a few things to say. I hope

that he can improve the way the board is run for the rest of you. Maybe a little

moderate moderation wouldn't come in a miss and make it the place it

was.

Well bye for now

best regards

[ali-cat]

I'm not exactly in a good mood tonight - & this post has made me, now, feel very sad.  Take care, TU  & I wish you all the best.

 

[Russethouse]

People have different opinions and different ways of expressing themselves, but really if you are 'happy in your own skin' why let it worry you if someone disagrees with something you think or do? On the other hand, if the remarks of a stranger cause you to address your doubts, perhaps they have done you a favor ?

The thing about TU was that she was, on the whole, and as far as I can tell, happy with her lot - I'm pretty sure the view she expressed in that post was one that many French would have made too, I didn't agree with it, but I understood where it came from. After all how often have people in the UK made comments about immigrants, rich or poor, who know how to get this and that............is there so much difference ?

Hope you are feeling better Ali.

PS Just seen Mikis post - no surprises as TU and I  had been in contact, but I will just take this opportunity to wish TU all the best for the future.

 

 

[CatherineS2]

I too am sorry to hear that TU is leaving. Although I have been accessing this forum for over 3 years (joined date is incorrect as I used to be plain CatherineS), I very rarely post on here anymore, but I know that TU had already been a long-standing member when I first joined and always seemed to give good advice, so I think it will be a loss to the forum.

I have often wondered what the name "TeamedUp" means. But now I am even more curious about something else and have been since last night - and I can no longer resist asking the question. What does she mean when she says "Since I have been a woman" in her letter in Miki's post? Is there something I have missed? Someone please put me out of my misery!

[Tresco]

Don't worry, [:D]

I suspect that is just TUs' English suffering from living her for so many years. She probably meant, 'since I grew up'.

The TU thing I think refers to her and her husband.

[CatherineS2]

Oops! Yes, that makes sense.  Silly me, jumping to conclusions.[:$]

[Tresco]

LOL, no; I noticed it at the time. If she was looking in, she would laugh, I'm sure. But she isn't.  I miss her too.