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Worried about my sons English


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He's 8 and is increasingly talking French at home, maybe 50/50 ish, I keep asking him not to and am at that stage of wondering if I try and enforce my wish or just let it go? I'm genuinely worried about his future standard of English. Sarah doesn't seem too bothered and finds it a bit of a giggle.

Chris 

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Chris,

We had the same problem when our son reached 8/9 years old, and we ended up enforcing an English only when at home rule! This however, included the bribe of getting sky TV so he could watch TV in English as well as French. It more or less worked for us, with the odd slip up here and there, such as suddenly realising at the end of dinner that we had all spoken French for the entire meal...

When we were relocated back to the UK a couple of years ago I was pleased we had been so strict with the English rule, as starting English school wasn't too much of a problem. My son has also just passed nine GCSE’s including a good grade for English (and an A* for French!)

We also encouraged him to keep in touch with a couple of his English friends, writing to them and 'phoning them when possible, now with MSN etc he does the same in reverse keeping in close touch with all his French friends.

Good Luck!

Kiera

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personally I can't understand why people get so hung up on what their children choose to speak. The important thing is for them to be happy and integrated in whatever circumstances they find themselves in. If english is spoken at home and french at school then they are going to have two sets of vocabulary for different situations, whereas in reality as parents we probably would rather they were able to express themselves in either language in any circumstance.

We had french friends in the UK who were worried that their 3-yr old would lose her french. Said 3-yr old has just finished a degree at an english uni and has found a job as a bi-lingual! Yes, she chose french for uni, as the easy option :)

I don't think enforcing english at home is beneficial - for example if something 'important' happens at school and they only have the french words, then they should be free to express themselves. One can always talk about it later in english to expand/relate the vocabulary.

Having both french and english material available, (books, dvd, etc) and instigating conversation in both languages means they can relate learning in one to the other.

My mother used to quote a friend's child who had a french mother and an english father; the child used to come home from school and say "bonjour maman, hello daddy".

It's not like they will ever lose their native language - especially if you talk it to them.

Apparently though, research has shown that they will always do maths in the 1st language that they learnt to count in... must mean something!
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I am friends with a French couple who live in England and have a two and a half year old daughter whom they wished to be bilingual.  Their "rule" is that they speak to her in French at all times - her mother tongue -  but she interacts in English with the staff and children at the nursery she attends.

As a result the child is completely comfortable with knowing two different words for "shoes" and can easily pick the "correct" one depending on the language the rest of the sentence is in.  She plays at home with her toys and her mother has heard her using correct English with the dolls etc, using words/sentences picked up at nursery. 

She speaks to me in either French or English, depending whether or not her parents are present.

This has been the approach followed from birth and seems to be very successful. 

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[quote user="hoverfrog"]If english is spoken at home and french at school then they are going to have two sets of vocabulary for different situations, whereas in reality as parents we probably would rather they were able to express themselves in either language in any circumstance. [/quote]

And if you don't encourage English at home, how are they going to learn to express themselves in it, if they don't speak it anywhere else?

Children have no problems picking up two (or more) sets of vocabulary and grammar.  Being bilingual is actually a very, very common thing in the world as a whole.

If your native language is English, speak to them in English!   End of story.  There is no problem. 

 

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I knew a family over here with several children.  The older ones in particular were very well integrated to the point of being totally French.  Their English language skills were almost non existant, as they rarely spoke any English at all.  My husband helped the eldest with his CV when applying for a job at an English speaking company, and was shocked at just how bad his language was.

That's a real shame, given it's his native tongue.........

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please don't get me wrong, what I meant was that it seems a bit extreme to ban speaking french at home just to encourage kids to keep up with their english!

I feel it's more important to make english conversation and materials part of their lives as well as letting them express themselves in french.

Kids adapt, this is true, however sometimes we expect our kids to not only learn everything that a french child would but also to learn it in english. Yes, it's easier for them to learn the vocabulary at the time, however we are expecting them to learn twice the vocabulary / grammer as their peers here and in the UK.

It seems to me that those parents who are worried about this as an issue are already doing the best for their children's education merely by expressing an interest. It's sad that so many children have such limited written and oral skills in their native language when it's their only language. Parents who regularly talk to their children in whatever language are already doing so much for them.

There's someone on the forums with a sig that says something like "your children will remember you reading them a bedtime story but not ..." which is so true. Unfortunately there are those parents who can't read properly themselves so their children will be disadvantaged in the real world. Children of parents on this forum already have not only an extra language but parents who are literate and computer literate as well - and I call that a head start!
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I agree with much that's been written here but when people who have been English teachers in the UK suggest offering lessons to expat kids, the response always seems to be that there's no demand. I appreciate that any given teacher might onle have a couple of suitable families living locally, but it sounds like there's quite a need for this. Have I missed something?
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[quote user="hoverfrog"]Yes, it's easier for them to learn the vocabulary at the time, however we are expecting them to learn twice the vocabulary / grammer as their peers here and in the UK. [/quote]

So?  Children all over the world do it all the time, hoverfrog!   Our little darlings in France are really not so special that they need to be protected from doing what is a perfectly normal thing for billions of other human children!

 

 

 

 

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[quote user="Chris Head"]

He's 8 and is increasingly talking French at home, maybe 50/50 ish, I keep asking him not to and am at that stage of wondering if I try and enforce my wish or just let it go? I'm genuinely worried about his future standard of English. Sarah doesn't seem too bothered and finds it a bit of a giggle.

Chris 

[/quote]

IMHO it is more important to speak the language of the country in which you live, go to school/work etc than to speak the language of the country that you have left behind. And if yr parents can't keep up surely that's a bonus ? [:)]

John

not

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Kids,  no matter where they are, want to fit it.  The average eight year old will want to speak the same language as his or her friends.  I have relations where their mother speaks Spanish.  From about 8, they refused to speak it, although they understand her perfectly and only started wanting to speak it again when they were 16.  Other friends in "mixed" marriages say the same: once they get a bit older they don't want to be speaking a weird language, they just want to be the same as the others. 

I believe the "experts" say you should speak your native language to your kid.  Keep speaking English, regardless of what he replies in and at least his vocab will keep up.

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Thanks for all the thoughts. It's good reading other peoples experiences and ideas. I'm sort of easier with it now having read all the posts, I think to push the issue too much might make him over conscious, it's a bit of a laugh really, especially when he talks French with a deliberate English accent and then giggles alot! Just how jealous of his language skills am I???

Chris

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I agree with hoverfrog.  My daughter who's 7 was born here in France and I spoke english only to her until she was about 5 1/2.  My husband has always spoken french to her.  I've always bought english and french books for her and she watches dvds and programmes in both langauages.  I let her choose the language - sometimes she's not bothered which, but there are certain films she prefers in french (or english). 

When my family and friends visit she gets on great and it isn't a big deal for her to communicate (even though her french is much better).  I also agree with SB, it's not unusual for children to learn 2, 3 or more languages, as long as they are hearing and speaking them on a regular basis they will never lose their ability.  As long as you and Sarah are speaking english to each other and to him he'll be fine.

Let your son speak french at home, he's having fun and as a result maybe YOUR french skills will improve!

Here's a forum for multi-lingual children I found that could answer more specific questions for you.

http://www.multilingualchildren.org/

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I would not enforce an English only rule on him but I would carry on speaking only in English to him. A French speaking friend of mine who is living in the UK has found that her child is now refusing to speak French, he says he lives in the UK so why should he. She speaks French to him regardless of which language he chooses to answer in, I think it is the best way of doing it.

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