who else is leaving France?

[Catalpa]

Not having children, I always find it interesting when parents anticipate children would (should) be taking care of them in their old age. I know it is the French way (well, more so than in the UK) but is it something British immigrants are going to adopt? Have to adopt? As we live longer, that could be "kids" in their 60 or even 70s taking care of parents in their 90s. How many of you with kids want (or expect) your kids to be changing your incontinence pads if that time came?

Perhaps the age one moves to France has an influence on the likelihood of returning to the UK. TU is returning... always was... Val sees no reason to. Val, you were - I'm guessing - late 20s? early 30s? when you moved? I can see therefore that your life is here even if your children may move elsewhere. If someone moves between the approximate ages of 50 - 60, I think it is far more likely that section of people will return to the UK after 10, 20, even 30 years.

I read somewhere that when you're "winding down" (shall we say...[:D]) - perhaps if you're in your 80s, for eg, you tend to dwell more on the events and culture of the first 50 years of your life. Something to do with those being the "years of achievement". Mother tongue is a part of that. So if you're sitting in a retirement home with your similarly aged gang, you're going to be doing a lot of the "I remember when... it wasn't like that in my day...". There's a shared comfort in it. And, unless expat retirement homes spring up across France (and Spain), you're not going to be sitting in the local Maison de Retraite discussing "British tv shows I remember from the 1960s". Or whatever.

Of course, in another 30 years, maybe only relatively wealthy Brits will be able to afford retirement homes in France - who knows - so there we all will be, ensconsed in exactly the British ghetto we'd despised for years...[:P] all sitting reminiscing through our false teeth over John Humphrey's interviewing techniques, why David Cameron ([:-))]) was the best thing that happened to the UK and whether that's really John Major in the next bungalow. [:D][:D]

I don't know whether we'll go back to the UK one day. If we live long enough, probably we will. We have the options in place to enable us to do so. I always think that, when I hear someone who has only been here a few years say: we'll never go back... they are probably the ones most likely to do so.

[Russethouse]

How much thought do we really give to our own old age ?

My mother is now 86 and it has never occurred to me that it is not my responsibility to take care of her, may be not in a physical day to day way but certainly to make sure she is cared for somehow. For some time we had my father in law living with us too, it might not be a popular view but I think our parents did their best for us and its up to us to do the same for them as far as we are able.

[Val_2]

This is the problem. My OH grew up with grandparents living with them and MIL cared for grandma until she died at 93 and then MIL died hereself four years later so we are used to having elderly people about the house. In this house we have already discussed about doing up part of the property as a seperate dwelling in case something happens to one of my parents and then at least the survivor could come to us if not fulltime or at least part of the year. Whatever happens they would not be left to fend for themselves with four children about. I was trying to make the point that what would we go back to the UK for when all we know is here in France, it would be a bit like emmigrating to Australia, all completely alien by then and even now after all these years in France, memories are fading of our old UK life and neither of us has been back there for over 9 years for a visit anyway so that must say something. Yes we were in our 30's(mid) when we came here so our outlook is going to be very different to those folks who come twenty years later in their lives as to how they feel about old age and dying here. Another point to remember also is that we have far more closer neighbours and friends locally who are the same age or a bit older so we are growing older along with them as well.

[Teamedup]

Catalpa, we arrived, me late 20's, he early 30's.

Russethouse, I think about old age. My Dad in his mid 80's has little time for lots of old people and I have to agree with him about lots of things. I haven't and he hasn't any plans for me or my brother to take him in or care for him if ever he can't look after himself.  And I have no such ideas for my kids either, it is not something I would want at all or expect. It is alien to me really.

I just couldn't imagine living as you have done Val2. We thought that we didn't go back very often during those early years, we just couldn't afford to go back more than every couple of years. Nine years, that is a long time.

[Russethouse]

Frankly I'm pretty sure my mother wouldn't want to live with either me or my sister, however we still visit, take her shopping, clean, garden etc.

To be honest I didn't find having my FIL living with us particularly easy, but there are other ways of being supportive and caring without sharing a house.

 

[RumziGal]

[quote user="Logan"]

Philosophy. The French enjoy conversation and ideas which push the boundaries of human experience. [/quote]

Can you give us some examples please, Logan?    I feel that my intellectual boundaries are not overly challenged by talk of sauce-making.  But maybe that's just me.  [:D]

[Logan]

[quote user="RumziGal"][quote user="Logan"]

Philosophy. The French enjoy conversation and ideas which push the boundaries of human experience. [/quote]

Can you give us some examples please, Logan?    I feel that my intellectual boundaries are not overly challenged by talk of sauce-making.  But maybe that's just me.  [:D]

[/quote]

Unworthy of you Rumzigal. Actually sauce making is both science and art together. A perfect sauce is creative bliss but then food is my passion. Horses for courses.

Perhaps you should try Rousseau and Voltaire as an alternative. Failing that Flaubert or Zola as a topic during your next French conversations. You may be surprised at what results.

 

[Teamedup]

I remember it well, a scientist friend of mine watching me cook and ignoring the recipe book, which I had open. He said that cooking was a science and I laughed and said 'only in little ways, good cooking is an art'. He was a lousy cook and followed all recipes to the letter.

[Russethouse]

Was his name Heston by any chance ?[:)]

[Teamedup]

You've got me there RH, don't know who Heston would be.[8-)]

[Russethouse]

Blumenthal -  previous enfant terrible of the cookery world who tests his recipes in a laboratory......

http://www.fatduck.co.uk/heston.html

http://www.pbase.com/jp_photos/lunch_at_the_fat_duck

[Teamedup]

Ah, don't like the sound of his recipes/food (and yes I know what he won) and they do sound like they are done in a laboratory, although I seem to remember some of the kitchen in my son's cooking college were called laboratorys too.

[oglefakes]

[quote user="Russethouse"]

Blumenthal -  previous enfant terrible of the cookery world who tests his recipes in a laboratory......

http://www.fatduck.co.uk/heston.html

http://www.pbase.com/jp_photos/lunch_at_the_fat_duck

[/quote]

The Fat Duck is great, but...

How pretentious is this breakfast?  http://www.pbase.com/jp_photos/image/45930592

[blink]

[Turnip]

[quote user="Russethouse"]

Blumenthal -  previous enfant terrible of the cookery world who tests his recipes in a laboratory......

http://www.fatduck.co.uk/heston.html

http://www.pbase.com/jp_photos/lunch_at_the_fat_duck

[/quote]

 

Come on Moderator - keep the thread on topic or make a new thread ( you tell us often enough.)

[Teamedup]

Please don't encourage them Turnip. ALL conversations naturally deviate from the orignal subject......... it is the way we all think. There really is nothing to stop you going back to the original topic though.

Before the board changed format, you could reply to a poster and it would slip in under their post, so it made the conversations going off a bit and sometimes a lot easier to read.

[oglefakes]

[quote user="Turnip"] 

Come on Moderator - keep the thread on topic or make a new thread ( you tell us often enough.)

[/quote]

Market forces will prevail.

[Turnip]

[quote user="oglefakes"][quote user="Turnip"] 

Come on Moderator - keep the thread on topic or make a new thread ( you tell us often enough.)

[/quote]

Market forces will prevail.


[/quote]

 

[:D]

[fulcrum]

[quote user="Teamedup"]

Please don't encourage them Turnip. ALL conversations naturally deviate from the orignal subject......... it is the way we all think. There really is nothing to stop you going back to the original topic though.

Before the board changed format, you could reply to a poster and it would slip in under their post, so it made the conversations going off a bit and sometimes a lot easier to read.

[/quote]

TU

I think it would help if we all mentioned the persons name, or quoted them like you did, when we are answering a particular post.

[RumziGal]

[quote user="Logan"]

Perhaps you should try Rousseau and Voltaire as an alternative. Failing that Flaubert or Zola as a topic during your next French conversations. You may be surprised at what results. [/quote]

 

"Lead balloon" springs to mind.  [:D]

 

 

[oglefakes]

[quote user="RumziGal"]

 

"Lead balloon" springs to mind.  [:D]

 

 

[/quote]

My favorite author is Larousse and his Gastronomique

Or maybe an concrete penguin [:-))]

[vickybear]

Just found this thread and read it......all 10 pages! Phew!

Couldn't read it before as I was too busy unpacking..............yep, we've moved back to the UK after 2 years and I can honestly say I've felt more comfortable back here in the last 3 weeks than I've felt in the last 2 years. Why? Hard to define.  We're 45 with no children but UK based parents. Brothers in Spain.

If I look at what I've done in the last 3 weeks the answer may be hidden amongst it:

I've...............

Walked to the corner shop, applied for jobs I've got a chance of getting, gone to the cinema, talked to the utilities and understood the answers, visited my parents in under 4 hours, got a good Indian Takeaway, stopped for a natter with my new neighbours ( who, incidentally within the first 2 days had sent 3 welcome cards and a bunch of flowers ), gone to my friends sons wedding,bought all the foods I'd forgotten I was missing, walked on the beach with my dogs, stopped worrying about what I'll do with my 22 year old cat when she eventually goes ( pet cemetery close by ), bought a paper for 40p on the day it's printed...........silly things really but all things that mean home to me.

Why did I move to France..............I don't remember, two winters in SW France have addled my brain [:D]

[Will]

[quote user="vickybear"]

Why did I move to France..............I don't remember, two winters in SW France have addled my brain [:D]

[/quote]

I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time [:)]

[mint]

love your post, vickybear.  but then, you ARE in south devon which is really really nice.

glad you've made the right decision for you.  as for us, we are going THERE.  don't know what it's like really and don't know whether we'd like it.  but then, if we don't try, we never will know, will we?

i can understand all the things you have included in your post and they mean a lot to me too but then i also want a challenge and to be jogged out of my comfort zone.

i'll give it at least 2 years, same as you have and, maybe, at the end of 2 years, we'll compare notes, ok?

[Logan]

Vickbear.

Your descriptions of life in Devon please you now. You are becoming acquainted again with what’s familiar. Always comforting and reassuring. However, soon this rationality will fade and all the original motives for moving to France will return to your mind. You will then have the advantage of balancing the two experiences and to decide which suits you best.

Good luck with your future.

[Teamedup]

Logan, It needn't be like that for vickibear. They were like so many we hear of and leave within the first two years. It was a bit different for you as you speak good french and have been in France a long time. I do know of other long termers who have left and returned.

I don't know why I am so sure that we will be OK. But I am absolutely sure and I am sure that many are after the french experience.